My Life By Donuts Mom

Gilad Shalit

2011-06-23T08:11:00.003+03:00

Jonah asked me yesterday while eating a snack of grapes if Gilad Shalit is still alive.

I said, I believe so. He said how do you know? I said, because as far as Israeli intelligence is aware, he is still alive. He told me that he sees lots of signs and stickers that say "גלעד עדיין חי". Translation: Gilad is still alive.

Jonah: "Do they give him food in jail?"
Natalie: "Yes."
Jonah: "Why?"
Natalie: "If they didn't, he would die."
Jonah: "Do they give him water to drink?"
Natalie: "Yes. If they didn't, he would die."
Jonah: "Is it kosher food?"
Natalie: "Probably not. However, Arabs also don't eat pig like Jewish people. So they keep a certain kind of kosher. So at least they don't give him pig. And in these circumstances, Hashem (G-d) understands. It is more important for Gilad to eat and drink whatever they give him and stay alive than for him to keep kosher."
Jonah: "But they hate Israel. So why do they keep kosher?"
Natalie: Who hates Israel?"
Jonah: "Arabs."
Natalie" "Not all Arabs hate Israel. We've talked about this before. Not all Arabs hate Israel and not all Arabs are bad. Some of them live in Israel. And some of them would rather live in Israel with an Israeli government than live in a place with an Arab government. But yes, the ones that have Gilad Shalit are bad."

Jonah: "I hope he comes home soon."
Natalie: "Me too. I really hope so. He has been gone for 5 years. On Shabbat, it is 5 years. That's a long time. He needs to come home."
Jonah: "I hope he comes home tomorrow."
Natalie: "Me too. Wouldn't that be great news to wake up to? Gilad Shalit came home!! Everyone would be so happy! And his family would be so thankful."
Jonah: "If I could, I would rescue him. I would take a big tractor or something and drive right over there and just take him out and save him. I really wish I could do that. I wish I could save him....."
Natalie: The best thing you can do right now is daven to Hashem (pray to G-d) and tell him how much you want Gilad Shalit to come home and how everyone is waiting for him. Right now we can't do anything to save him, but Hashem is in charge so tomorrow when you go to school and daven, say and extra special prayer for Gilad to come home."
Jonah: When we go see Bubbe and Zayde in Jerusalem, can they take us to the Kotel?
Natalie: Maybe.
Jonah: Oh good, I really want to put a petek (note) in the wall asking Hashem to bring Gilad Shalit home. I was really sad because I forgot to do that at my siddur party. I meant to bring a petek to put in the wall but I forgot and I had a paper but I didn't have a pen. My friend Ili reminded me, because he brought a petek from home. But I forgot.... so maybe I can go back and remember to do that next time."

Intense.... may we all wake up to the fantastic news that Gilad Shalit was brought home safe and sound.

Amen.

Oh, the things they say...

2011-06-22T15:17:00.002+03:00

2 Funny Kid Comments

1 - I was talking to Sammy (4 years old) about summer vacation. I asked if he would like to have a sleepover with Jonah at his grandparents in Jerusalem. He was thinking about it and wanted to know what they would do. I said during the day maybe they could go somewhere fun, like the zoo. My kids are CONSTANTLY asking to go to the zoo! He responded, "Maybe to the zoo.....or maybe to Mitzrayim" which translates to Egypt. I said "Maybe... but I don't think so". He said, "There really is an Eretz (land) called Mitzrayim. And they talk like Aravim (Arabs) there!"
Not sure where that entire comment came from but I was amused.

2 - We were sitting at the dinner table and had the following conversation:

Natalie: We have to call moving companies
Jonah (6 yr old) - You should call Hovlot Yossi
Natalie - Why?
Jonah - Because they are the best!
Natalie - How do you know that?
Jonah- Because it says so on the sign....

:) So apparently their advertising works. When I call for a quote, I'll have to relay the conversation and maybe I can get a discount. Hehe!

This Week's Thought - From the Koby Mandell Foundation

2011-05-28T22:53:00.002+03:00

This Week's Thought
From The Koby Mandell Foundation

Last week, at a memorial service for Koby his brother Daniel read the following:

Who wants to write to a brother who was murdered?

It’s difficult to write to you,
It’s been years since we spoke.

Your physical absence has been replaced with an empty space in our lives. In another month you could have been 24.

You could have been married with a child or two, you could be traveling in South America, you could have been studying at university, you could have been a computer expert, you could have been a stand-up comedian, you could have been so many things.

I remember how I would whisper to you at night, asking you where you are, asking you to watch out for us. I begged you to come back, to make everything the same as it was before.

I remember how I used to think that it’s all just a big joke, or a nightmare from which I will wake up, that I’ll just get up in the morning and you’ll be there...and everything would continue as it was.

But today I do not whisper to you any longer. I’m not asking you to come back.

Today the pain is not only the pain of death, but also the pain of loss. Not a burning pain, but like a hand that grabs the inside of your stomach and turns it.

Today I realize how small you were, how really cruel they were.

Please click here to make a contribution to The Koby Mandell Foundation.

"Land Day"

2011-03-30T08:17:00.003+02:00

I hope today is a quiet day. I hope not to hear any news. I hope I won't get any phone calls, IM's, SMS's, or have any conversations relating to the current situation in Israel. Just a quiet day. I hope my son won't come home asking more questions about the murders in Itamar or the bomb in Jerusalem. He stumped me today.

On the way to school he said, "Mommy, if Jerusalem is a walled city, how did the person who put the bomb there get in?" I really didn't know how to answer it. On one hand, was I supposed to make it sound like they came in from the outside? But that will destroy his feeling of safety that we have a security fence around our city. Was I supposed to tell him that somehow they got past the security guards and soldiers? That will ruin his faith and secure feelings from the army and police. He then asked, "Did they live there?"
All I could say was that they don't know who did it yet so they don't know how they got in. And I said it was a very good question.

When I got home, I saw an article Shauli sent me about "Land Day". The article can be seen here: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/143231

Here are a few excerpts from the article that really got to me. "The boycott, divestment, and sanctions (BDS) movement, an umbrella network operating worldwide to boycott Israel as part of a delegitimization campaign, has called on anti-Israeli activists around the world to hold solidarity activities with the Arab “Land Day” which is scheduled for Wednesday....
The notice calls on “people of conscience” to join the boycott of Israel....
U.S. events focus on Washington, DC, but are also expected to be held in Seattle and at the University of Arizona, where a model of the Israeli security fence (which organizers term “the apartheid wall”) will be erected..... "

People of conscience......people of conscience.... I'd like to meet these people of conscience and take them by the shoulders and shake them really really really hard. CONSCIENCE???? For example the woman that I previously blogged about who was proud to be a "Jew but a Palestinian sympathizer". CONSCIENCE???? Where the hell was your conscience when murderers snuck into Itamar, entered a families house, and brutally murdered the Fogels. Where the hell was your conscience when they slit the throats of Udi Fogel and his 3 month old daughter, Hadas. When they cut her throat so bad, she was nearly decapitated?? Where the hell was your conscience when Ruth Fogel came out of the bathroom to find her family being slaughtered? And she fought for her life and for the lives of her family? And she was cut up so badly, they couldn't even include the pictures along with the others from the murder scene. What about when they killed 11 year old Yoav, reading in his bed? Or when they stabbed 4 year old, Elad right in his heart?

I think you don't know what a conscience is. Conscience: The awareness of a moral or ethical aspect to one's conduct together with the urge to prefer right over wrong.
Conscience: motivation deriving logically from ethical or moral principles that govern a person's thoughts and actions .

Morals? Show me their morals. Right over wrong. Not wrong over right. Not even wrong over wrong. Logic. Is there any logic in any of this? I don't see any on either side.
Israel gives land for peace. Palestinians destroy that land, elect a terrorist government, shoot rockets at innocent civilians, and brutally murder the very same people whose houses they now inhabit (unless they destroyed them because they belonged to "filthy Jews".

We are fighting a losing battle. Not because I believe Palestinians are bad people as a whole. I don't. But there are a lot of bad Palestinians out there. And these are the ones with the loudest voices and actions. These are the ones who are somehow running their people. I watched a video yesterday from Palestinian TV. It was a kid's program. While my children sit and watch Bob the Builder and Mr. Maker and Zoboomofoo, Palestinian children are watching this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm8w7_P8wZ0

Our children watch Clifford the Big Red Dog or Barney singing "I love you, you love me" and poor Ahmad and his sister Fatima watch a rabbit vowing that "I, Assud, will finish off the Jews and eat them, Allah willing."

There are countless videos out there showing the programming these kids sit and watch. So how can I ever hope that my children will be able to sit in peace with their children? They are being taught pure hatred of the Jews from before they even enter school.

Back to the article. A "model of the Israeli security fence" (which organizers term “the apartheid wall”) will be set up. I wonder if they are going to set up some ridiculous huge, scary looking wall. Along with signs saying NO ARABS allowed? Spreading more rumors and lies about Big Bad Israel.

Let me tell you about the "apartheid wall". It's a security fence. That's exactly what it is. It was set up to keep the bad guys out (or attempt to). That's what a country needs to do when there are people constantly trying to enter into your cities and blow them up. In most areas it's a little fence with perhaps some barbed wire on the top and hopefully cameras and sensors along it. The purpose is to defend ourselves against a people who only want to wipe us out. They don't even hide that this is their goal.

As for apartheid. "a social policy or racial segregation involving political and economic and legal discrimination against people who are not Whites" or in this case - I guess not Israelis? And Israelis does not mean Jews. There are plenty of Arabs who live in Israel and have Israeli citizenship. And reap the benefits of a normal life. We have no problem living side by side with Arabs. As long as they do not want to kill us. Rather, as long as they don't act on it.

I know I have mentioned this before but if this 2 State solution ever goes through and there is an Israeli state and a Palestinian state - where will apartheid be practiced? In Israel or in Palestine? Israel will continue with it's many immigrants of all different races, nationalities, and religious. Palestine will consist of Arabs. No Jew will be allowed to live there and if somehow they did, I don't imagine it would be long before they are murdered. So who will have the apartheid State?
Do you know what the signs say in Israel before you enter Palestinian controlled areas? I can't remember the exact phrasing but among the wording is any Israeli who enters is endangering their life!

Um, there are no signs like that going into Canada. There are no signs like that going to London. And sadly, it's true. It is dangerous to enter these areas (although most likely we would be stopped before we happened upon Ramallah). I am sure crazy terrorists would just love to get their hands on some Jew who wandered into their city. Remember the Ramallah lynchings in 2000? Two Israelis accidently drove into Ramallah. They were detained by PA policeman and brought to the police station. Word got out and a crowd of more than 1,000 Palestinians gathered at the station, calling for the death of the Israelis. The 2 men were beaten, stabbed, had their eyes gouged out, and were disemboweled. At this point, a Palestinian appeared at the police station window, displaying his blood-stained hands to the crowd, which erupted into cheers. One of the soldier's bodies was then thrown out the window and stamped and beaten by the enraged mob. One of the bodies was set on fire. I believe their bodies were dragged by car to the center of the city for a victory celebration. Wow, that's frightening.

Shauli and I almost drove into a small Arab city near us by accident too. It was the night after the Fogel murders and we were going to visit some friends who live in nearby Pedual. We took a wrong turn and were driving on a small, dark street (following our GPS.....). We both had a bad feeling which was confirmed when we saw a sign written in only Arabic. We hightailed it out of there!!

So for now, we have one State of Israel. We let peaceful Arabs live, work, and go about their business in our country. And we try to keep the bad ones out. WE are not an apartheid state, just a state trying to survive. If a Palestinian State is established, then you'll see an apartheid, Judenrein state.
But at least if there are 2 states, maybe we can actually defend ourselves and our borders.

Thanks for reading. I don't mean to depress you. I owe you a positive post soon about all the reasons that it's great to live here. :)

Triple Blog

2011-03-27T23:37:00.003+02:00

I've had so many blogs floating around in my head over the weekend but just haven't had time to sit and write them down. Let's see if I can try to sort out a few of my thoughts.

1. On Friday I read a cousin's post supporting Israel and someone else commenting about how she (the commentor) is Jewish but a Palestinian sympathizer. I can't stop thinking about it. I am torn between wanting to respond to her and telling myself to move along. She has already made up her mind, she has already decided I must be some big bad, Israeli who came in and stole their land, and probably she feels that those "crazy settlers got what they deserved." It's sickening and it makes me want to cry. Anyone who can justify the murder and decapitation of a 3 month old, a 2 year old, and an 11 year old, makes me wonder.....how can we ever make peace with our enemies if even our own kind hate us? Doesn't she realize that they would kill her too in a heartbeat? And then celebrate her death by handing out candy in the streets? Sorry, is that just for the death of a child?

I am a "Palestinian" sympathizer too. I sympathize with any normal, humane Arab who just wants to live their live. I am sure there is an Arab mom out there, with 3 little kids just like me, who just wants to send her kids to school and go out and buy groceries, and live a full, and meaningful life. I am sure she was horrified by the murder of the Fogel Family. I am sure she fears for her children's life and what will happen when they get old enough to go out and become martyrs. Doing this by giving up their own lives. If she is someone who moved into the beautiful Israeli homes in the Gaza Strip, I am sure she is also completely terrorized by her own terrorist government, Hamas. Whose motto is "We love death as much as the Jews love life." But this woman doesn't have the freedom of expressing her fears on the Internet. She is not allowed to disagree with her government. Because she could be killed and tortured for it. I sympathize with you, fellow mother.

2. Jonah said to me today, "Mommy, did you know there was a bomb on a bus in Yerushalayim last week. My friend told me about it". I said "Yes". He said, "How does that happen? Was there a bomb inside the bus?" I told him "no, the bomb was next to the bus". He said "But how did it get there?" I said, "Someone put it there." He said," Wouldn't someone notice a bomb?" I told him they put in a briefcase and explained that we always have to be aware of the things around us and if we ever see a bag or a package sitting on the ground with no one around it, then we need to tell someone. I explained how in Israel, they are always SOO careful and people are always watching to make sure there are no bombs and to keep us safe. He didn't seem terribly concerned, he seemed very matter of fact about it. I was worried about him because he is my "scaredy cat" kid and also the only one old enough to really understand the danger. He somehow jumped back to the Fogel murder in Itamar and asked how they did not know that the terrorists came in. I explained that there was a problem with the security there in that, there were no cameras along their sensor fence. We talked about how it could not happen in Ariel because we do have cameras and we can see anyone and anything at anytime along the fence. I told him we live in a very safe city. I asked him if he was scared and he said "No". I told him what helped him to not be scared and he said "The policeman who lives next door." We have a neighbor policeman (who was actually on duty the night of the Fogel murders and was called to the scene since they are in our jurisdiction, I guess). When I was asking around for someone that Jonah could talk to (as per his request), the policeman among many others volunteered. Jonah has yet to speak to him but is extremely reassured by the fact that we have a neighbor who is a policeman and by the fact that he is willing to talk to him and explain the security in Ariel.

Jonah has decided once again that when he grows up, he would like to be a soccer player, a policeman, and a soldier. So that he can protect everyone from the bad guys.

3. One more and then I am off to bed. There is a Facebook page calling for the 3rd Palestinian Intifada. It's listed as a "cause". 335,621 people "like" this. The page's administrators posted a quotation of a Hadith (Islamic tradition) that is popular with radical groups, which reads, "The hour [of redemption] does not come until the Muslim fight the Jews and even the stones and trees say, 'O Muslim, a Jew is behind me, so kill him.'"

Despite many people reporting this page and many personal requests to Facebook and the creator, Facebook has decided not to remove the page. They want it to be a place where people can openly discuss issues and express their views, while respecting the rights and feelings of others.

"While some kinds of comments and content may be upsetting for someone – criticism of a certain culture, country, religion, lifestyle, or political ideology, for example - that alone is not a reason to remove the discussion."

I am sorry but has the world gone MAD????? Expressing their views by calling for a march into Israel to destroy the Jewish state? "O Muslim, a Jew is behind me, so kill him?" Since when is this OK??? Freedom of speech is one thing but open calls for annihilation of the Jews - a 3rd Intifada? We all know what the 3rd Intifada will be about. Same as the 1st and 2nd. KILL THE JEWS! And this is "ok" due to freedom of speech???

What would happen if The Jewish Agency posted a group called Kill the Arabs. Or decided on May 15th, 2011, they are going to reclaim the land that is rightfully ours. Would the world be quiet then? Would everyone be ok with that? Hard to imagine but mostly because it's so absurd. We don't do things like that.
What about if someone posted a page about Killing all Mormons. Or all African Americans? Kentans? French people? Would that cause some uproar? Yah, I am pretty sure it would. How can people just sit back and watch as open calls for violence are being posted right and left? Is it because so many are crazy leftists and feel the "Settlers" deserve it? It is because they think it's not their problem?
Is this how people felt before the Holocaust? That there was total madness going on around them and the rest of the world was strangely silent?

Don't you get it? WE WANT PEACE!!! We gave you the Gaza Strip in hopes of peace. And what did you do? You elected a terrorist government, Hamas. Whose only purpose is to kill and destroy all Jews and the State of Israel. You took our beautiful homes, gardens, farms, and greenhouses and destroyed them. Acres and acres of land, you destroyed the fruit trees because it was planted and cared for by Jews. Oh, and the peace we talked about? You shoot rocket after rocket into Israel, filling the rockets with pins and nails to maximize the casualties.

Two quotes by Golda Meir sum up my feelings perfectly....

"Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us."
As long as they continue to teach hatred in their schools, it's a losing battle. We can't make peace with those who have taught to hate us since they first learned to read and write.

"We can forgive you for killing our sons. But we will never forgive you for making us kill yours."

And like Dennis Prager says in this Middle East Conflict video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEzvhvOcWEs). What would happen if Israel laid down its arms and promised not to fight anymore? And what about if the Arab countries and the "Palestinians" laid down their weapons and promised not to fight anymore.

In the first scenario, Israel would be destroyed.
In the second scenario, there would be peace the following Wednesday.

Thanks to my loyal blog and Facebook note readers. Please continue reading and COMMENT so I know at least a few people are reading.....

How would YOU feel?

2011-03-22T20:46:00.003+02:00

Today I had a meeting with a rep from the Jerusalem Consulate. Apparently, he has a unique position - he is the only person in the Jerusalem Consulate who has anything to do or any contact with Jews (rather, Israelis) living in Judea and Samaria. Everyone else works with the Palestinians. Which is why if you check out the website, you will not see a single thing about Jews/Israelis living in the "West Bank" or Judea and Samaria - Yehuda and Shomron. It is as if we don't exist.....

The meeting was odd. It was cut short and none of us (the few Ariel Olim who were there really got a chance to talk) and the rep did not have a chance to ask the questions he said he had for us.
We started off introducing ourselves. When it got to my turn, I gave my usual shpiel about how we ended up in Ariel and he interrupted me and said that sounds familiar, he thinks he read about me in the Jerusalem Post. A couple months ago I was interviewed for an article which is what he was referring to.
He said that he actually had a specific question for me because he remembered me saying that I did not move to this area for political reasons or to make a stand. And then he went into this long drawn out roundabout way of asking "What would I do if/when Ariel loses it's status as an Israeli city and becomes part of a Palestinian State?" I was totally thrown off. It's not that I was exactly surprised that he asked this question. It just came on so suddenly, I guess. And it was directed at me. And the way he made it sound was as if he truly believed it would happen.
I did not know how to respond. Looking back, there are a lot of ways I could have answered. But at the time I said "Listen.....I am just a regular person trying to live my life. I want to raise my children in a place we call home, where we feel comfortable, and where we belong. In a place that I feel safe. I'm just trying to live my life in peace." I said that I do my part, on a small scale, to work towards peace. We have Arab workers that do landscaping and clean up in the city and I make a point to say good morning and smile to them. Because I am only one person living my life and that is what I can do. I just want to live peacefully and happily.
The problem is how can we do that with so many people that don't want that? They have no interest in living peacefully with us. They want to push us into the sea and wipe us off the face of the earth..... As far as giving them Ariel, it would be complete suicide. In terms of a defensive point of view (and I began rambling at this point and just forgetting my words in general), it would be crazy. And I don't believe it will ever happen. If G-d forbid, it does, we'll see.

I think how I should have responded is as follows:

Tell me this. What would you do? How would you feel if you were living your life, trying to be a good person and raise your children the right way and terrorists began trying to kill you off one by one? What if your friends were stabbed to death and their children's throats were slit by monsters? Their hearts stabbed?
And then what if your government let them win? And gave them your house, your city, and your life? How would you feel?

More Thoughts from Samaria

2011-03-15T12:23:00.002+02:00

I went to pick up Sammy on Sunday and spent a few minutes talking with the gannenet and the helper (sayaat). We were talking about the Fogel family and how they were so involved in the community when they lived in Ariel. I was trying to figure out if any of their kids were in Gan with Jonah. The sayaat thought he may have been with Jonah at some point. I'm not sure.

While we were talking, some other Netzarim parents came to pick up their kids. And they looked so sad and heartbroken. Most likely, they knew the Fogels. I looked at the kids still sitting in the circle, at their beautiful, innocent faces. Thinking it was their friends that this happened to, it could have been them, it could have been their family. Such beautiful, innocent children, like the children murdered in their beds.
And I almost broke down. My eyes filled up with tears and I said, "I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't" and I had to walk out of there. I had tears streaming down my face as we left the Gan. And at the same time, I didn't want Sammy to know anything was wrong. I wanted to sit down on the curb and just cry and cry. Cry for the innocent lives that were taken. For the little children who will never have another birthday. And for the beautiful orphans who will never have another birthday without missing their parents.
And I was so thankful for my beautiful child, safe and by my side. Chattering away as we walked home. With his Indian face paint and headdress. May he never know from such pain. May he never know anyone killed in a terrorist attack.

The prime minister went to visit the family while they were sitting shiva. It can be seen here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7LSDUdiu2A

The prime minister's answer was to build. He told the orphans, "They kill and we build." The little boy said "What will happen if you do something? Will America do something to you?"
This poor little boy whose parents and siblings were murdered while he slept. It just as easily could have been him. And the prime minister tells him, we will build houses in response.

I am sorry. I think that is a crap answer. Look at all the outcry from the world when we do build houses. Everyone is up in arms then. Where is that same outcry, where are those voices when a family is slaughtered?
There are reports that the 3 month old baby was decapitated....I can't begin to fathom.

And our response is to build houses? I know that we are peaceful people and that all we want to do is live our lives. But if America or whoever we are afraid of is going to yell in response to us building houses, let them yell in response to something real. We need to take care of ourselves and our people. And if America won't stand up for us when we are being murdered, then we need to stand up for ourselves.

But I don't have an answer. I want those murderers caught and punished. But in reality, there is no punishment that fits the crime.

Someone suggested this: "I think the world should make the bad guys give back Gilad Shalit as a tikkun for the Fogels. It wont help bring them back but we'd all feel a little better."

I agree. We can't bring them back. And while we will feel a little bit better once they are caught, there is no punishment that can be done to the murderers that will make us feel better about what happened. So we need to do something else.
While one family has been shattered and nothing can make that better or take that pain away, at least another family can be reunited.

Today, Gilad Shalit has been in captivity for 5 years. Bring him home. Do whatever it takes to bring him home and reunite him with has parents.

Bring some light unto the darkness that we are all feeling. Bring some happiness into the sadness.

Please G-d, may the killers be found today and brought to justice. May the Fogel children and grandparents and family and friends be comforted ... somehow. May light shine onto them and peace be brought to their hearts. May the horrific memories be wiped clean.

May we all celebrate Purim with the news that Gilad Shalit has been returned to us.

And may the rest of the world see the reality of our lives in Israel and support us in protecting our families. And if they don't want to support us, may they at least shut their freakin mouths because they don't have a clue.

Sigh.....

A 6 year old's view

2011-03-13T19:12:00.006+02:00

I wasn't sure how to handle the Fogel's murder with Jonah or Sammy. A lot of the kids in Sammy's Gan are from Netzarim which is where the Fogel's lived until about a year ago. So pretty much everyone from there knew them. I didn't know if kids that age were aware of what happened or had overheard their parents talk about it.

At Gan pick-up, I asked the Gannenet if anything was said about it. She said in the morning meeting she asked if anyone had anything they wanted to share or talk about or ask about. No one brought it up so neither did she. Luckily our kids can remain blissfully innocent for that much longer.

I was more concerned about Jonah. He is older, understands more, and is scared of EVERYTHING. He is also in school where there are certainly people that know what happened. I didn't know if the school said something or some special prayers or if other kids brought it up. When I picked him up, I asked if anything special happened today or if he wanted to talk about anything. He said no. (His usual answer).

Once we got home, he asked as we were walking up the stairs if I had seen the Chadashot (news) today. I said yes. He said "What was on it? Can you tell me?" I asked him if he heard about what was on it and to tell me what he heard. He asked why and I said because I want to know what he heard and who told him.

He said his friend told him and that there were 2 mechablim (terrorists) that went into someone's house and killed the parents and 3 kids while they were asleep. And that a neighbor came and rescued the other 2 kids. He asked if that was right and I said yes. He then went into a huge rant about how if he sees the Mechablim he will call his friend or his friend will call him and they will fight them and kick them and punch them. He was very adamant about that!

I asked how he felt about it and if he wanted to talk about it at all. He said he just wants to hurt those Mechablim. Maybe he said kill them, not sure. I told him there was a rally to show our support for them where people will be singing and holding Israeli flags and signs and being together if he wants to go. He was not interested. Then he said he needed to practice fighting the Mechablim.

A little later, I think it started sinking into Jonah. He must have realized that if he sees the Mechablim, that means they are here. And that started to scare him. He asked if the mechablim could come here. I said no. He said why not. I said we have very good security and cameras and a special fence, chayalim, and guards that watch everyone who comes into Ariel. He asked, even at night? I said even at night. He asked what if they fall asleep and I explained how they take turns and some sleep during the day and then stay up at night.

Then he said he has to call his friend and tell him that the terrorists can't come here.

Of course the topic didn't come up again until bedtime. He started off asking Shauli questions. Said he knows that they can't come in with cars through the gate but what if they brought an airplane in. Shauli explained about how Israel knows everyone who is flying over Israel and makes sure they are good guys.
He was trying to figure out if there were other ways they could get in.

Sammy, who kept saying again and again how he is not scared of anything, suggested "what if they ARE Jews that come in through the gate but they are bad guy Jews....". I explained that the chayalim don't let any bad people in. Jewish, not Jewish, no bad people are allowed in.

Jonah asked, well, didn't they have a fence in Itamar? That was a harder one to explain. I tried to make it sound somewhat removed from us and remind him that it could never never happen here. I said our fence has cameras and we can see everyone and everything happening around Ariel.

Jonah asked if he could speak to a soldier or policeman about the security system. Apparently, my Mommy knowledge didn't cut it. He wanted details. He wanted answers. I told him that was a great idea and I would find out who he can talk to. I mentioned that our neighbor is a policeman so maybe we can talk to him. And I mentioned a few dad's of his friends who were in the army. I reminded him that he has a few uncles that were in the army and they could probably explain how security works.

Eventually, he went to bed. I spoke to a few friends and got a list of quite a number of people that would be happy to talk to him. People in our shul, parents in the school, even other random friends of friends, family. I also figured I would go into the school and see what they suggest. I really really really wanted to help Jonah feel safe.

This morning, we woke up and shortly before we went to school, I told Jonah that I thought I would come with him to school and talk to the principal and see if he knows anyone that Jonah can talk to. I also said I found out about so many people that are happy to talk to him and explain security in Ariel. I started listing people and telling him, see how many people are around protecting us and we didn't even know it???

He asked one more question. Can someone dig a hole and come into Ariel. I said no. He said why not and I said it just wouldn't happen. Ok, not my greatest answer......

So then I asked if he wanted to talk to one of these people. He said "nope. I said really? Why not?" And he said, "Well, I feel a lot better after you explained it all to me. I don't need to talk to anyone."

And that was that. For now.

Feelings, Words, Yet no comfort....

2011-03-13T07:55:00.005+02:00

I saw someone today and I said good morning. I didn't feel it but I said it because it seems the normal greeting. What am I supposed to say...
He replied "Good morning. At least as good as it can be..."

This is Adar, the happiest month of the year. Where everyday feels like a party in Israel. It's a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping. Yet, there is a horrible gloom and sadness over all of us.

I can't stop thinking about it.
I can't stop thinking about them. The victims. The beautiful family stabbed to death in their home. They used to live in Ariel. The father looks familiar. I have probably seen him/them around. The kids could have been any one of my kid's friends. It could have been my friends. It could have been us. This is so close to home. I can't stop thinking. I want to curl up into a ball and cry. Just cry and cry and cry. And there is no comfort.

At 2:00 Friday morning I woke up to a helicopter flying over Ariel. That in itself doesn't happen very often. A few minutes later, I heard another one. Very close and flying very slowly. I looked outside to see if I could see anything but didn't. A few minutes went by and another helicopter passed. I knew something was up. The army doesn't do training exercises on Shabbat. Not that I generally hear training exercises over Ariel anyway.

I checked on the kids, knowing if Jonah woke up he would be bothered by the noise. I stood at the top of the stairs and surveyed my kitchen. What was going through my head? That perhaps there was an intruder that got into Ariel and they were looking for him? Maybe. I had no idea. I took comfort in the fact that we have a police man neighbor so if something was up, I figured he would know about it. If there was immediate danger, I imagine we would know.... maybe? I went downstairs thinking to myself, and what if there is someone in my house? Then what? I don't have a weapon or anything. The Cutco knives are all the way across the room.

Many lights were on because we don't turn on/off electricity on Shabbat so that made it easier to look around. I checked the kitchen, opened the laundry room door and locked the back door. We live in a safe neighborhood and don't always lock all the doors. I checked the front door which was locked and locked the one side of the sliding glass door that locks. If anyone tried to get in the other side, the "tris" is in the way and would make a fair amount of noise. Another helicopter and another go by. I imagine there is something going on. But hope it's pre-emtive. Maybe they got warning of a potential attack and are just keeping the peace....
Eventually I get back to bed.

Don't hear anything the next day. I mention it in passing to Shauli. Tell him to let me know if anyone says anything in shul. But I don't think much more about it.

Saturday night I go online and the first post I see on a Facebook friend's status is a link to a murder of a family in Samaria. We live in Samaria/the West Bank. I read further and see it happened in a small community called Itamar about 20 minutes away from us. We've been there before. To visit a beautiful farm. It's close to Shchem and our friends in Har Bracha. Yes, the location where not too long ago they decided to "relax security measures and dismantle checkpoints". I knew that would lead to no good. What kind of security minister relaxes checkpoints where we know terrorists and weapons are being smuggled in? That logic escapes me. Peace? Is that what he is attempting? A gesture? Why don't you open just hold open the f-ing door for the murderers?

Someone scaled the fence in Itamar and the fence has an alarm that goes off when it is touched. A soldier went to check it out but saw no cuts in the fence and no footsteps or anything else around. So he assumed it was an animal. Well, it was an animal. A different kind of animal. A deadly, killing machine. Someone who has been programmed since infancy to hate and kill me and my people.

This was around 10pm. He went to one house but it was empty. He went to the Fogel's house but there was a big group of Bnei Akiva kids there. And so he waited. Until they left - the family's daughter among them. And he waited some more.

The terrorist (or terrorists) entered the house through the living room picture window, did not notice the 8-year-old boy sleeping on the couch and continued on to the bedroom where they slashed the throats of the father and newborn baby who were sleeping there. A 3 month old baby. Innocent baby. He slashed her little throat? The mother came out of the bathroom and was stabbed on its threshold. The evidence shows that she tried to fight the terrorists.

Can you imagine? Coming out of the bathroom to come face to face with a murderer?

They then slashed the throat of the 11-year old-son who was reading in bed. They did not notice the 2-year old asleep in his bed, but murdered the 3-year old with two stabs to his heart. After that, they locked the door, exited through the window and escaped.

Exactly two hours after the infiltration, there was another warning signal from the same spot on the fence, as the terrorists left the way they had come. Once again, the patrol did not identify the source of the signal as infiltration.

The 12-year-old daughter returned home at 00:30 and found the door locked. She asked a neighbor to help her. He brought a weapon with him once he noticed tracks and mud near the house. The two woke up the 8-year old sleeping in the living room by calling through the window and when he opened the door, the Rabbi returned to his home.

When she entered the bedrooms, the young daughter saw the horrific bloodsoaked scene and ran out of the house screaming. The neighbor ran back and fired several shots in the air to alert security personnel. Within a short time, large police and IDF forces arrived and began intensive searches to see if the terrorists were still in the community. At 03:30 a.m., military trackers discovered footprints leading to the Arab village of Avrata.

I can't stop reading. I can't stop replaying these scenes in my head. How? How? How? How can a person slash a 3 month old babies throat? An 11 year old reading in bed. Stab a 3 year old in the heart? It's not human. It's just not human.

How will this 12 year old girl be able to go to sleep every night without horrific nightmares of the scene? Of seeing almost her entire family brutally, horribly murdered.

Graphic pictures have been released of the family. To show the world what brutality and terror looks like.
WARNING: Graphic

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/142846

There are other pictures elsewhere of Palestinians handing out candies in celebration of their success. I read an article on CNN and then I read the comments. And there are so many blaming this family, blaming people like me, for just trying to live our lives peacefully, quietly, normally. All we want is quiet. All we ask for is a land promised to us for thousands of years. A piece of land the size of New Jersey.
We try and we try. We give and we give. This family gave up what was probably a beautiful home in Gaza. They were thrown out in the name of peace. And what happened? They came to Ariel and lived in a caravan. And then they moved to Itamar, where they were able to buy a new home. To start fresh. And then..... 6 months or a year after they moved, they were murdered by the very people they gave up everything for.

Israel has the best army in the world. Sadly, we also seem to have the weakest government. Everyone is condemning this act now. Expressing sorrow for the family. But what about action? I imagine we'll let about 50 more Arab terrorists go. Ya know, in the name of peace. I imagine after 2 weeks, we'll relax the checkpoints again. Come on in, bring your weapons, bring your hatred. Let us lay down for you so you don't dirty your feet. And while I'm at it, why don't you stab me in the back?

This is war. Rockets are being shot at our homes. Babies are being murdered in their beds. This is WAR. Why does no one see that???????????????

Dear G-d, have mercy on us. Let me continue to shield my children from the violence as long as I can. I will continue to explain to them that not all Arabs are bad. I believe it. I know there are some Arabs out there, who just want to live in peace. Who can't stand up to their government because they will be KILLED.

But I know that hatred is being taught to so many many more. And the terrorists were probably about 20-25 years old. Their entire life, hatred of the filthy Jew has been taught to them. Even on their children's TV programming. Barney sings about the beauty of becoming a martyr.
Where are their songs of peace? Where are their songs of living a quiet, fulfilling life and being good, hardworking people? Why are their songs about pushing the Jews into the sea until there are no more left?

How can we sit and talk peace with a person who only knows hate? Please...explain it to me. How we can sit across the table from someone who would slit a babies throat and stab a 3 year old 2 times in the heart? I'm sorry - but that is not human. And it's not someone who wants peace.

In one week is the holiday of Purim. A time when G-d was hidden but the Jewish people triumphed over their enemies. Haman was hanged on the gallows instead of Mordechai. Please G-d, have mercy on us and help us triumph over evil.

Please bring those murderous sons of b's to justice. Please give the government of Israel the strength to stand up and protect itself.

And it's citizens.

People like me.

People like you......

What did YOU do today?

2011-01-13T20:19:00.002+02:00

This seemed a bit too long for a status on Facebook. But I had already written it out. I felt it should be recorded somewhere. What an insane day.
So to the blog it is.....which will then be imported to Facebook....

Today's Schedule.
6:45am wake-up
7:30am - take all kids to school/gan/babysitter
8-10:30 work.
10:45-12:30 errands and grocery shopping
12:30 - more grocery shopping at 2nd store
1:30-3:30 - Sammy has 2 friends over to play. In the meantime Jonah disappears on the way to a friend's house. Apparently he and his friend walked one way and the friend's mom walked another. Oops.
3:30 - Various gan/babysitter pickup/dropoff.
4:30 - Birthday party with Sammy and Kayla.
5:30 - Pick up Jonah and friend to take to another bday party.
6:15 - Stop by second bday party with Sammy and Kayla.
6:30 - Doctor with Kayla (and Sammy in tow).
7:15 - Back to pick up Jonah and friend from party.

Leaving in 15 minutes for a birthday dinner with Kayla's metapelet. All the mommies are taking her out. At least it will be a nice end to a busy day.

And what did you do today?

Aliya Beyond The Green Line

2010-12-20T20:39:00.002+02:00

Check out this article from the Jerusalem Post.

http://www.jpost.com/Metro/Article.aspx?id=199767

I was interviewed for a half hour by the reporter. She just used one line but I like her compliments. :)

Enjoy!

This is My Israel

2010-10-27T08:11:00.008+02:00

To my loyal blog readers (whoever you are), I know that I am still in the middle of 2 ongoing stories. "My" Birth Story - the story of my first doula experience. And The Story of My Aliyah.

But I'm interrupting to write a brief blog. This is just a 1 Part-er. I think......

It all started on Sukkot.....it was a dark and rainy night.....whoops - wrong story. We're still waiting on those nights here in Israel. :( Come on Winter!!! Bring it on!!

Ok, Sukkot. We were up north camping along various beaches and getting sand all over everything that we own. We spent one day at the Family Fun Festival at Kfar Hassidim. There were a bunch of NBN attendees (we even wore special NBN stickers) and they gave each of us a sign that said "This is My Israel". They told us to take a pic with the sign and send it in to them and maybe we will win the contest. We said, "Ok, when does the contest end?" They said, "Um...not sure." We said, "Ok, what do we win?" They said, "Um.....1st place in the photo contest?" It didn't exactly make me jump to enter but I thought it would be a cute opportunity for some photo ops. I put the sign in our car thinking maybe we would take some pics during our trip. Then I forgot.....
Our trip ended and we headed back to Ariel and I figured that was better anyway because my life is mostly in Ariel and this is truly "My Israel". But I thought I would have to get creative because I wouldn't be able to take a shot on the beach or in the mountains or next to some animals. I'd have to find something in Ariel.....
My first thought was The Frog Pond. I am not sure why. It is a really freaky looking statue of a frog with a huge tongue out which also is a little fountain and it is a small "natural habitat" pond. There are some turtles in it and some fish. The kids happen to LOVE it and could spend hours just watching and looking for the turtle. But it's in the merkaz and we don't make it there much. So I thought I would make it an outing. Days passed and we just never had a chance to run on a photo trip around Ariel. But I kept the sign in my car and every time I saw it was reminded.
Then we found out (through our friends who also entered the contest) that there not only was a deadline for the contest but there was also an actual prize!! The deadline was about 2 weeks away (now 1 week) and the prize is a Flip video camera. I have no idea what a Flip video camera is but we definitely can use a video camera. Over the past few weeks we have been dealing with a million short clips that we put on my computer from our regular camera. They take up all the space and are making me crazy. We really would LOVE and make good use of a video camera!! But it's not the type of thing we would ever have excess cash for. So, I was inspired.
The next day Jonah finished school early, Sammy was at a friend's house, and Kayla was at the babysitter. So I figured we would take an hour and go to all the cool places in Ariel to try and get a nice shot. It was beautiful weather and I even brought along his soccer ball as a prop!! On one hand, I wanted to take a picture with all 3 of my kids. On the other hand, and anyone who has 3+ little kids can verify, it is almost impossible to get them all looking, smiling, and posing at the same time!

We decided to start at the top of Ariel and wind our way down. I explained the contest to Jonah and asked what pictures he thought we should take. He wanted to take a picture at the top of the mountain, he wanted to take a picture near our very 1st apartment (absorption apartment), and a picture where we took a picture of him on the first day of Gan. He always talks about that picture and how the buildings were IN the clouds!!!

So we went to the tippy top of Ariel and I think it was actually the spot that Avi Zimmerman took us to when giving us the view of Ariel. You can see the whole city and Jonah was fascinated by the construction that was going on. We took a bunch of pics there but none of them came out so great because Jonah was always squinting because of the sun. The background was kind of cool because it showed the whole city and this really is Our Israel. But I was also a little hesitant about the shot because our friends had taken a similar shot of their daughter with the mountains of the Shomron behind her. I didn't want to "copy".
We continued and went to a park, soccer field, fountains, etc until we ran out of time. Towards the end, I asked Jonah once more if he had any ideas and if there was somewhere in Ariel that he REALLY loved. He said Rchov HaGalil which is our new street!! I was so happy to hear that and we took a picture on our street and in front of our house too. I got some great pics! It also made me want to study photography and become a photographer!!! :)

That evening we went to pizza with friends (after our sons all had soccer together). I snapped a few more shots with Sammy and Kayla on the pizza place rides. As we were leaving a couple girl soldiers came into the pizza shot. And I thought to myself - that would be a great shot if I can get the soldiers with my kids! Or maybe one of Kayla with the soldiers. I went over and explained about the contest and asked to take a picture. They were happy to do it and I turned around to get the kids together and Sammy was in tears!! For all of his love of solders, he did not appear to want to be in a picture with them. But they were waiting and I felt bad so I took a picture of Jonah with them (soccer shirt and all). We were going to leave but Jonah said he wanted to take a picture of me. So I said ok, why not. I grabbed Kayla and we took the picture with them. Meanwhile one of them got a phone call (she was trying to hang up) and Sammy was standing there crying. It was a crazy shot (and one of the soldiers heads was cut off) and I didn't think anything of it.

I posted all the pics and got a few people's opinions on which to enter. I had such a hard time deciding. I was debating between a few shots. I really liked and initially picked the one of Jonah on the soccer field. It was a beautiful shot of Jonah and he had the soccer ball and for Jonah, that's a huge part of Israel for him. He wouldn't have played soccer in America! :) I also really liked the picture of Jonah on our street. But mostly I liked the idea behind it. I didn't know if people would "get it" by just looking at the picture. Shauli liked the one of Jonah overlooking Ariel. I liked the idea but didn't like the actual pictures (and didn't want to take away from our friends pic). Shauli also liked the soldier one. I thought about it (probably put way too much thought into choosing anyway) and decided to go with the soldier picture with me and Kayla. I was trying to get to the concept and the idea behind the contest. I gave it a caption "Only 16 years until my baby is serving the Israeli army".

I felt that this really expressed the Reality of living in Israel. By moving here, even though I did not serve in the army, I know that my children will be serving in the army (ok, maybe Kayla will do sheirut leumi - national service). The thought of that is both terrifying and makes me so proud. As a mom, I dread the day my children enter the army. As a citizen, I think it is amazing that every person has to serve in the army. It's a reality for my children. Sammy and Jonah often talk about what unit they will be in and where they will serve. It gives us such a connection to the land. I don't know which comes first. Do you feel a strong connection to the land, this is OUR land, and then you serve in the army? Or do you serve in the army and become connected to the land.

No other land in the world is like this for the Jewish people. This is our homeland and always has been. The sky is the limit for my kids here. Meaning, I hope, that they will be able to do and be whatever they want, while still maintaining their religious identity. Shabbat and Kashrut are not foreign concepts here. Not working on the Jewish holidays is a given here. This country is not perfect but by moving here, I feel that I have opened up my children's lives. And at the same time, given them a country where they can truly be free. Free to be who they are and do what they want without religious persecution. We aren't strangers anymore.

So, I got a little off topic and on a rant about my mad love for Israel. But bottom line, I feel my picture expresses a huge aspect of what Israel is - and will be - to us and to many other Olim.

We are currently in 2nd place and REALLY want to win!! Voting ends November 3rd (I think at noon Israel time). PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take a minute and vote for us on the the Nefesh B'Nefesh facebook page. And get your family (spouse, sibling, parents - whoever has facebook) to help us out also! We aren't even asking for money....

Just follow these simple instructions.....

1. Go to http://www.facebook.com/NefeshBNefesh.

2. At the top of the page, click Like.

3. Go to our picture at http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=445478562335&set=a.434628037335.213662.371262537335

4. At the bottom of the picture, click Like.

(If you don't want to vote because you don't want to join this random group,
you can Unlike the group after you Like our picture and your vote will still count!)

A lot of people skip the first step and go right to trying to Like our picture. But unless you LIKE the fan page (first link) first, you will not have the option to Like our picture.

Let me know if you have any problems. Thank you SO much for your support!!!

My Aliyah Story - Part 3

2010-10-15T11:09:00.002+02:00

And back to Israel I went.....

2001. It was a rough year for Israel. Lots of terrorist attacks.....http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/terrorism/terrisrael-5.html

I wanted to do something more than just go to Israel. I wanted to help. I wanted to make a difference. So I looked into it and found out about a program called Sar-El. It's a program where people from all over the world can volunteer for the Israeli army. No, you won't be jumping out of airplanes or even get a gun. But you take basically take the place of a reserve soldier and do some grunt work for a couple of weeks so that the Israeli soldiers can do more important stuff. Hey, someone has to paint the barracks.....

I worked it out so I could leave for Israel a few weeks early, volunteer with Sar-El, and then start Ben Gurion University. It was great!! I had a good group of volunteers of all different ages, we had a good soldier in charge of us and we had a LOT of fun. We were up north at a base near Haifa. I am still in touch with a few of my fellow volunteers.

Ben Gurion university was interesting. I lucked out because some friends of family of friends who lived in Beer Sheva were going to America for the year and needed someone to house-sit. I found out about it and gained a house for myself. It was really nice especially for Shabbat. And a place where friends could come and hang out. And watch TV! The cable company was supposed to cancel it but never did. Good times.

December rolled around and time for Winter Break - which was like 2 months long - due to the Israeli exams (you have 2 tries). A bunch of students on the program went home. Some for the break, some were only there for the semester anyway. But I didn't have the money or the desire for a trip back to the States. Again, the year was so difficult with all the bombings, it got to the point where you woke up in the morning and turned on the radio to hear where was the latest terrorist attack - not IF there was one.... I felt like I had gotten so comfortable in BGU. Just livin life, salsa dancing on Tuesday nights in the bomb shelter/disco, homework, friends, etc. But I wanted to do more!! I felt so helpless when there was an attack. I considered doing Sar-El again and actually got some friends interested in it. But then I discovered the Magen David Adom Foreign Volunteers Program. Now THAT sounded fascinating!!! I take a short, intense course and become certified as a First Responder. Then I am sent to a MDA base somewhere in Israel where I volunteer on ambulances for a month or 2. Perfect!!

Turns out, that was another puzzle piece into my life. I was in Israel, I was searching for the love of my life. But had no idea what I actually wanted to do in life. And stumbled upon the world of Emergency Medicine!! Volunteering for MDA was one of the greatest things I have done in my life. I really felt like I was finally giving back to a country that had given me so much. I was making a difference. I was saving lives......

And I discovered what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to go further and become an EMT, and maybe then a paramedic. I wanted to work for MDA. It was a new passion in my life. So I finished out the year at BGU. During which, I arranged a MDA course for other students on the BGU program.
And sadly, I also learned the pain of losing someone in a terrorist attack. My MDA instructor and friend, a person who I had just been on the phone with a few days prior, the guy who was going to come and teach the course that I set up in Beer Sheva....Yochai Porat. Again ,that is another story for another time. But suffice it to say, this man influenced me and turned my life in a new direction. I finally had a direction!

After BGU, I ended up going back to the States. I decided I wanted to go back and become trained as an EMT. Work in the States, gain some experience, save a little money, and then make Aliyah. For once and for all.

Once again.....I had to leave Israel. But this time, I was certain I would be back. With a career and a plan.

My Aliyah Story - Part 2

2010-10-15T07:28:00.003+02:00

Sorry, my computer turned itself off last night just as I finished part 1. Tonight I give my talk so I really have to get down to writing and processing.....

I came back to the States at the end of the summer and went back to Pittsburgh. I was so depressed. I had no desire whatsoever to be there. I just wanted to be in Israel. I remember the family I lived with made a great BBQ birthday party for me and I remember sitting now, not wanting to be there. Just wanting to be back in Israel. It was so hard. But I knew that I would return. I planned on going back for seminary after 12th grade so I had the year to work on making that happen. I was financially independent at that point and receiving a little social security. I returned to my job at the local Judaica store doing some computer stuff. So I carried on. Just trying to survive day to day. School meant nothing to me anymore. I was so confused. I was so lost. Not only that but we received another blow. Our dear friend/mentor passed away that September from cystic fibrosis. It shook us up so badly. How do you watch that happen to someone in his early twenties? I was still reeling from the death of my dad - Rafi was helping me deal with it. And then he is taken from us? It was a horrible year. But somehow I made it through. Again, pulled together a lot of scholarships and somehow managed to make it to Israel for the school year 98/99.

Living in Israel as a seminary student is not really living in Israel. At least not where I was. I was in a bubble. I was at school with English speakers, being taught in English, going to "town" to meet up with all my other English speaking friends. I met a few Israelis, but they spoke English. I lived in Jerusalem so that meant I did not have to learn any Hebrew either. It was still a hard year, I was still so lost in life. But I loved being back in Israel. I was happy in Israel. The highs are that much higher and the lows are that much lower. Everything is more meaningful and more real here. I had no plan in life but I knew that I still wanted to be in Israel.
My year came to a close and I wanted to come back. But not for another year of seminary. I wanted to work, I wanted to learn the language. I managed to find a program in the Old City to come back to. Half day of learning and tiyulim, plus the opportunity to work. The scholarships only lasted so long, I needed to start paying my own way. So I spent the summer at home, living with my Grandma, and got my first job at Kohl's. End of the summer, I said goodbye to my Kohl's crew and got back on the plane. If I thought I was lost before this, I think I was even more lost this year. I had no borders/no boundries/no one watching out for me or setting limits. I just did my own thing. Maybe I needed it. I needed the freedom to figure myself out. Maybe. It is what it is.

Two weeks before I came to Israel, the program called me up and told me they didn't have enough people signed up and they were canceling it. I told them I was still coming and they said I could come and do some of their classes while I look for something else. So I did. I had an apartment in the Old City, I took some of their classes, got a short-lived job in the Arab shuk and then moved on to babysitting. The school I went to turned out to be somewhat cultish and almost turned me completly off Judaism. Luckily, there was one level-headed Rabbi there who kept me on the path. I made a lot of Israeli friends that year and learned a LOT of Hebrew. I did a lot of stupid things too and thatnk G-d, I didn't get killed. Yes, that was the year I went to Bethlehem with my Arab friend. My Arab friend who a year later was put in jail for murder. Oh goodness.
While I loved hanging out in the Rova and town and just chillin, it wasn't getting me anywhere in life. The school was doing more harm then good and in January, I made a "Grown-up" decision. I decided I had to go back to the States. I had to get out of that environment. One day I will post some of the stories of things that happened while in Machon Roni. Such as the "Malka Hamishicha Zahava" AKA the crazy homeless woman who turned up in my apartment and screamed bloody murder when I came home one Friday night. Woah. The police knew her well. She roamed the streets of the Old City asking them to take her back to her rightful home on the Temple Mount. She is, after all, The Queen Moshiach, Zahava......

Back to the States I went. Everytime I had to leave Israel, it was agonizing, heart wrenching. I felt almost complete in Israel. Just missing my better half. But in America I was missing my better half and my homeland. So back to my job at Kohl's to figure out my grand plan. After about 6 months there, I decided to move to New York. I had a lot of friends there and it seemed a happening place. Lots of my friends were heading there, doing the smart thing and going to college. But I went there to get a job. Found an apartment in Brooklyn, and got a job at a company in the Empire State Building. I was just a secretary but oh how I loved working on the 75th floor!! I'd take the subway to Manhattan every morning, work, and sometimes spend a few hours wandering NYC afterwards. It's fascinating there!
I had a good year - I suppose. Made some friends for life. Had my ups and downs. A few broken hearts. Ya know, doin my thing. But I just couldn't stay away. I needed to come back to Israel.

Since I couldn't just come back to hang out, I needed something good to do. A good reason to come back. I started looking into different programs and decided to go to Ben Gurion University's Overseas Student Program in Beer Sheva. I wanted to get out of Jerusalem and this way, I could get some college credits. Somehow managed to scrape the money together (including a loan from my boss). And said cest la vie to NYC.
(That actually does not make sense in translation but I like the sound of it.....)

To be continued.........

My Aliyah Story - Part 1

2010-10-14T22:23:00.003+02:00

I was asked today by one of the Bnot Sheirut to speak to a group of Bnei Akiva kids (8th-12th grade) tomorrow night and tell them my Aliyah Story.
Of course it has to be in Hebrew so that's somewhat intimidating. But I'm sort of excited about it.
So, where do I begin? I have up to a half hour - which is a REALLY long time. But that can include questions, etc.
I figured I would jot down some thoughts here on my blog and if it's at all interesting, I'll post them..... and maybe I will think of some things to tell the kids too.
As a side note, every year they have a theme for the month. This is the month that Bnei Akiva was founded and they spend the whole month painting and making signs and all kinds of preparation for a big end of the month celebration with songs and fire and what not.

My first connection with Bnei Akiva and maybe Zionism in general was the summer after 3rd grade, when I was 9 years old and headed off to Camp Moshava, Wild Rose Wisconsin.
The bunks were divided into Shvatim, we had mifkad in the morning and in the evening. We had to stand at attention "Amod Dom" and at ease "Amod Noach". To this day, it cracks me up to hear soldiers being told that! It's like they are playing camp (or we were playing soldier...). Camp Moshava was the first place where we used Hebrew words in normal conversation. "Time to go to the Cheder Ochel". "I hope our bunk has the best Nikayon!" "We got SO rained out on the Machane Chutz!!!"
Looking at it now, Moshava is so obviously Zionistic but at the time, it just became part of our daily routine.
I went to Camp Moshava for 3 years ('89, '90, and '92). During those years, there were a few kids who came to camp from Israel. It was such an interesting/exotic concept. These kids actually lived in the place that we only talked about. A place that was so abstract, that we learned about in Chumash. It was so strange.

As I got older, my connection with Israel was through my school. Wearing blue and white on Yom Haatzmaut and hearing my best friend talk about her trips to Israel. I have an aunt and some cousins in Israel but we rarely saw them. I spent one summer in Kansas with my cousin from Israel (who is my brother's age) and it was still so hard to imagine that she lived in this place called "Israel". It still seemed SO far away. Unreachable....

During high school, I did not really go to Zionistic schools. I spent 10th grade in public school where I was barely holding on to my Judaism.....I was very active in NCSY which was no Bnei Akiva but had their summer programs to Israel. Not that I ever dreamed of going on them. There was no way we could afford those!! My Dad and I would sometimes toss around the idea of going to Israel. To me, it was still this crazy far away land that I learned about in Chumash and on Yom Haatzmaut. A land that was OURS, a Jewish country. A place where they eat falafel on a normal basis and can pronounce the letter "chet" correctly. A land with kosher Pizza Hut and McDonalds! Where people know what kosher and Shabbat are and I'm not the crazy Jew. It was so weird to imagine..... but I didn't think about it that much.

Along came 11th grade. And my life completely changed. I had no idea what kind of storm was coming.
I uprooted myself and went to school in Pittsburgh. Still trying to hold onto my Judaism. And I liked a boy. However I got there, I was living in Squirrel Hill with the Seidman family, working in Pinskers, and chilling with a whole new group of crazy friends. I was just settling in when WHAM. My dad was diagnosed with cancer. My life was turned upside down.
That, of course, is a completely different story by itself. During my dad's sickness, we talked about "our trip to Israel when he got better." When it became clear that he was not going to get better, I showed him a brochure of ISS, Israel Summer Seminar, NCSY's 5 week touring and learning program in Israel. I told him I was going to make it there. For him. For me.
I owe a HUGE shout-out to my Midwest NCSY friends who were the ones who first brought up me going on ISS. They were going and I don't know what they said, but soon I was planning on going too.

Then I lost my dad. My life was hell and I could hardly tell which way was up. But I told my dad I was going on ISS and darn it, I was going on ISS. There were scholarships upon scholarships and somehow I pulled it off. I had my plane ticket. I had no idea what to expect but it was going to be an experience of a lifetime. It was kind of a crazy idea. To be heading off on this fantastic program which to normal teenagers would be FUN, while still being in mourning for my dad. Crazy thing was, there turned out to be 2 other girls on the trip who had ALSO lost their dads within the past few months. We got special permission to say Kaddish during davening and that was good.

Off we went on ElAl. I was sitting next to Scott who turned out to be a source of LOTS of laughter during that trip. To this day, I crack up when I find the little notebook of pictures we drew. CHASHEE CHASHEE. My crazy Kansas/Omaha crew was so tolerant of me and all my crap. They made me smile through the pain. I don't think they have any idea what they meant to me that summer.

We landed in Israel and everyone sang and cheered. The typical thing you hear about. And back in '97, when you got off the plane, you headed right down the stairs to the tarmac. I hope I will never forget the feeling of stepping out the door, at the top of the stairs, and feeling that BLAST of HOT air hit my face. That's Middle East weather. I looked out at the palm trees waving in the distance and the Israeli flags.
And I knew I was home. I don't know how I knew. But I was home. I climbed down the stairs and fell on the ground kissing it. Tears were streaming down my face. I'm home, I'm home, I'm home.

It was an up and down 5 weeks. So emotionally and physically challenging. But I fell in love. I fell in love with this country called Israel. Nothing else was constant or stable in my life. But I finally knew one thing. This is where I belonged. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere in the States. In Israel, I belonged.....

V'Shavu Banim Ligvulam....

Making a Difference

2010-10-08T10:36:00.002+02:00

So, I somehow managed to join the first grade Vaad Horim (Parent's Committee) with 3-4 other Israeli moms. We had one meeting so far and I understood the main points just not a lot of the bantering that goes on. It was a little hard because socially, I wasn't able to just relax and chat. But it worked out. And I think I laughed at all the appropriate parts I was supposed to and said oh no, when I was supposed to. :)

While I am not entirely sure what the official job of the Vaad Horim is and what our responsibilities, I know that we can turn it into whatever we want as long as we have a cooperative teacher (we'll find that out once we have a meeting with her....)
So we discussed making the classroom a little more cozy and bringing in some games for the kids to do at recess, we talked about the overload of homework on our first graders, and the policy of being "approved" to make a birthday cake for class as opposed to having a strict policy of bringing store bought cakes. Then I brought up an idea and the other moms loved it! (Yes, I am proud of myself and was happy to be a contributing part of this committee).

I want to bring more chesed into my child's life, into his class, and perhaps into the school and community in general. One step at a time though. One of the moms had previously suggested bringing in treats for Rosh Chodesh. And while anyone who knows me knows that I am not the healthiest person - I feel that kids are bombarded with treats and junk food!!! Enough with the treats!! Stop looking for excuses to bring more junk into our kids lives!!!
So I said maybe once a month (around Rosh Chodesh for example), we can do a Chesed event. I suggested maybe one time helping pack the boxes that go out to the needy families here in Ariel. One time sending cards/pictures to children in hospitals or to soldiers. Maybe one time doing something with or for the old folks home here. Etc, etc.

So basically the point of this long post is to ask for YOUR ideas for Chesed projects that first graders can do in their classroom/school. To take them out of school is apparently way more complicated. I'd love to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!

What a Story.....

2010-09-12T13:07:00.000+02:00

Dvir Aminolav was the first Israeli soldier killed in the 2008 Gaza War. His mother Dalya missed Dvir, terribly. One night before she went to bed, she said in a loud voice: "G-d, give me a sign, give me a hug from Dvir so that I will know that his death had some meaning."

That week her daughter asked her to accompany her to a musical performance at The International Crafts Festival in Jerusalem. Dalya, feeling quite depressed, did not want to go to the concert, but she didn't want to disappoint her daughter either, and agreed to go halfheartedly. The concert was a bit delayed. A two-year-old boy began wandering through the stands. He walked up to Dalya's seat and touched her on the shoulder. A preschool teacher, Dalya turned around, saw the boy and smiled warmly.

"What's your name?" Dalya asked.

"Eshel," the boy replied.

"That's a nice name. Do you want to be my friend, Eshel?" The boy nodded in reply and sat down next to Dalya.

Eshel's parents were sitting two rows above. Concerned their little boy was bothering Dalya, they asked him to come back up. But Dalya insisted that everything was fine.

"I have a brother named Dvir," two-year-old Eshel chimed in, as only little children can. Dalya was shocked to hear the unusual name of her beloved son, and walked up the two rows to where Eshel's parents were sitting. She saw a baby in his carriage, and apologizing, she asked, "If you don't mind me asking, how old is your baby and when was he born?"

The baby's mother replied, "He was born right after the war in Gaza."

Dalya swallowed hard. "Please tell me, why did you choose to name him Dvir?"

Baby Dvir's mother began to explain. "When I was at the end of my pregnancy, the doctors suspected the foetus may have a very serious birth defect. Since it was the end of the pregnancy, there was little the doctors could do and I just had to wait and see how things would turn out.

When I went home that night, the news reported that the first casualty in the war was a soldier named Dvir. I was so saddened by this news that I decided to make a deal with G-d. 'If you give me a healthy son,' I said in my prayer, 'I promise to name him Dvir, in memory of the soldier that was killed.'"

Dalya, the mother of Dvir, stood with her mouth open. She tried to speak but she couldn't. After a long silence, she said quietly, "I am Dvir's mother."

The young parents didn't believe her. She repeated, "Yes, it's true. I am Dvir's mother. My name is Dalya Aminalov, from Pisgat Zeev."

With a sudden inspiration, Baby Dvir's mother handed Dalya the baby and said, "Dvir wants to give you a hug."

Dalya held the little baby boy in her arms and looked into his angelic face. The emotion she felt at that moment was overwhelming. She had asked for a hug from Dvir - and she could truly feel his warm and loving embrace from the World of Truth.

Happy Half Birthday to you!!!

2010-07-19T12:16:00.002+03:00

We interrupt this program to wish a VERY Happy 18 month birthday to my dear daughter, Kayla Rivkah!!!
Love you so much baby girl, Kaylush, Kaylie, Lulie, Lulu........

Birth Story - From the Other Side - Part 3

2010-07-17T22:38:00.003+03:00

This part of the story will probably go a lot faster (because it all kinda blends together in my head) but in reality, it took FOREVER!!!!

They finally brought us to a room. What we thought was going to be labor and delivery. But sadly, it was just part of the Machleket Nashim - Women's Ward. We were brought to a little curtained area, 1 of 6 in a room. All kinds of women. Next to us was an old lady and I think the other was empty in the beginning. At some point, they told us we had to stay in this area until Ariella was 3cm dilated. I don't remember if they told us that right away or only after being there for HOURS.

We got there and waited. They were supposed to be bringing Ariella antibiotics. So we waited...and waited. I think at that point Ariella went to take a shower. She felt so gross from the whole experience so far and just wanted to shower and get into the many sizes too large gown. :) Her shower was less than ideal. Apparently she had to hold the shower head. I'm sure THAT was comfortable being 9 months pregnant and in labor!!!! But she came out clean and put on the huge hospital gown. And then they served lunch. We went over to check it out and it actually looked quite appetizing. Chicken and rice and mashed potatoes. I was HUNGRY! But I made the mistake of asking if it was only for the patient and they said yes. I said not even for the husbands? They said no. Daaaaaarn. So went into the dining room area (of this particular ward) and sat down. Ariella got some food and I took a drink. Mm....watered down petel (syrup).......
Ariella said the food was actually quite good - although the mashed potatoes were gross. That was sad. I love mashed potatoes. She was kind enough to sneak me some of her yummy rice :) so I wouldn't starve. Worse came to worse they would tell her not to share. And there was a LOT of rice. Yisrael was sitting with us but feeling VERY uncomfortable. He felt like all the women kept looking at him, maybe even giving him dirty looks. It was kinda weird but it's a pretty religious hospital so who knows. Eventually he left. Ariella finished up and as we were leaving, I noticed a sign saying no men are allowed in the dining room during meal times!!! OOPS! Oh well, I was already there with my short sleeves - I assume they figured we didn't know better. :)
We went back to the room and waited some more and I felt like it was time for some of my doula-ing. Time to take charge. So I went to the nurse's station and waited very politely for them to acknowledge my existence. Once they did, I reminded them about the antibiotics. The first nurse was a REALLY young looking, sweet little girl. :) She was helpful and friendly but maybe slightly overworked. I felt like I had to keep reminding her. Helloooo - you have a patient named Ariella.....we are waiting.
So they gave Ariella the antibiotics. Finally!!! Now to be honest, I cannot remember if they they gave her the pill to induce her or if we waited awhile before that. I know she got the pill at about 2pm so it must have been a bit after. If they checked her prior to getting the pill, she was still at 1.5cm. Grrrrr......
They gave her what looked like half a pill and said ok, we'll be back in 3 hours. WHAAAATTTTT???? They said that's generally how long it takes for the pill to work so at 5pm they will monitor her and see what's going on. Ugh. So we had 3 hours to sit around. Ariella was having some contractions and the main thing we did when she had one was rub her lower back. That is where she said she had the most pain. We asked the nurses if there was anything we could to help her along. Like bouncing on a birthing ball, walking the halls, ANYTHING?? They said nope, nothing. Well that wasn't helpful at all. There was a shift came and enter Mean Religious Nurse. dada, dada, dada......
Why mean people are ever put with laboring women or postpartum women is absolutely beyond me!!! Mean people shouldn't be nurses anyway but there are some wards where they just don't belong. This woman seemed very harsh, uncaring, and acted like she had no patience for us. She was a stickler for the rules and did not seem to have Ariella's best interest in mind.
More waiting and waiting and waiting. 5pm seemed SO far away!!! Yisrael went to check out the cafeteria. He had a toast and came back. Then I went and was hoping for perhaps the same food as Ariella had. But there wasn't even a real cafeteria. It was a little stand that made toasts and sold things like chips and gum and what not. I had a toast in the morning but didn't have many other options and didn't want to leave the hospital grounds so another toast it was! This may have been the only point when I wished we were at Beilinson. The thought of the mall being right across the street with that delicious food court was SOOOO tempting!! Again, it was so funny being on the other side. Being the "waiter" instead of the "birther". I could have used an Aviva right then to bring me a nice hamburger!!! :)
It's all good.
Back to the Machleket Nashim. There were 2 other women that had arrived at the same time as us, more or less, and they were also in the ward. So I kept Ariella updated that they also hadn't had their babies........
The contractions started getting more intense and we had to help Ariella through them more often now. We kept watching that clock tick by, waiting for 5 pm. When it finally arrived, and the pill started doing it's trick, I tracked down the nurse and asked for the monitor. I can't remember if dinner came before or after the monitor.

Dinner was the turning point!!!! We went to go check out dinner and first of all, it looked inedible. It was some kind of fried potato blintz and a side. What kind of food is that??? Ariella had NO appetite for it and as she turned to leave the room, she got hit with a whopper of a contraction. She had to stop moving, grab ahold of the counter, and really concentrate and breathe through the contraction. Ahhh.....FINALLY!!!! Now let's see some action. From then on the contractions were real intense. We went back to the room and Yisrael and I got a lot more involved in helping her through the contractions. She was very impressive though. We rarely needed to remind her to breathe and though the contractions were extremely painful, she would get through them and then really relax. Close her eyes, go limp. She said the contractions were SO totally exhausting!!! We tried different positions for her to labor in and finally brought out the birthing ball. That was a comfortable positing for her. That and being on all fours on the bed. The room was really not cool though. So NOT the place to labor. She felt uncomfortable making noise, there were people walking back and forth all the time. Lots of talking, ringing cell phones, etc. It just was not a place that you could focus on laboring well.

Well, now that things have started picking up (or so we thought), it's time for another break. It's 11:30 at night and I am exhausted!!!

Stay tuned.............................

Birth Story - From the Other Side - Part 2

2010-07-12T20:17:00.003+03:00

Monday night, June 21st

Earlier that day I had a terrible headache. So bad that I actually slept on the couch for awhile that evening. It was during a heatwave and I think the heat was making me sick. I woke up at about 10pm and got a phone call from Yisrael. He told me Ariella had been having regular contractions every 10 minutes. They were going to go to sleep and if they got worse over night, they would call me and we'd go to the hospital. In any case, they were supposed to go to the hospital in the morning for monitoring.
I figured that would work out nicely. My headache was better and I would be well rested for a middle of the night phone call. I guess I went to bed about an hour or so later - after making sure my bag was all packed and ready to go.

Went to bed and woke up about every hour or 2 to check my phone!! No missed calls....

Tuesday, June 22 (My Anniversary)
At about 5 something in the morning Yisrael called. Ariella was still having pretty regular contractions, somewhat closer together, and they think her water might have broken the night before. Not a huge gush but a little bit here and there. They knew they had to go in for monitoring anyway so they told me that I should get ready, shower, eat breakfast, and call them when I was ready to go. I did that and called about 45 minutes later. They came by and picked me up. I went downstairs and was SO excited to see them!! Ariella looked great (probably not a good sign for someone in labor......)
It was already fun to be someone on the other side. I was SOOOO totally excited and feeling good after a decent amount of sleep. And ready to get this "party" started. I wasn't even nervous anymore. I was confident the 3 of us would make a good birthing team. Not to mention, June 22nd would be a great day to have their baby. It was Shauli and my anniversary (sorry for deserting you that day, honey. I'll buy you a car to make up for it :) ). The crazy thing about that was that our daughter, Kayla, was born on Ariella and Yisrael's wedding day!!!! We thought it would be pretty cool. And seeing as it was only 8am, we were certain it would happen.......

And the "real" story begins...............

We arrived at the hospital (after getting stuck in baaaad traffic) at 8am and were sent to the Labor and Delivery Admittance. It was REALLY quiet and we felt that was a good time. Not a busy day.

They got Ariella hooked onto a monitor and we sat around a bit. It was fun watching the contractions on the machine and hoping each one would get stronger and closer together than the one before. They were still about 5 minutes apart and she had some stronger ones but they weren't changing a whole lot. Apparently the nurses weren't satisfied because they came in and gave Ariella something sweet to drink to get the baby moving around more. They made her lay on her side with her hand up over her head. It was a really awkward and uncomfortable position. People would come in and out but no one really told us what was going on....

The doctor finally came and I guess was satisfied enough with the monitor that he was ready to check her. He also wanted to check and make sure her water had, in fact, broken. We went to another room where he looked at the baby on the ultrasound - aww......we'll meet you soon baby!!! Then he checked Ariella and she was about 1 cm dilated, same as what she was at the doctor the day before. Oh well.....
He didn't think she was leaking amniotic fluid but when he did the test, the stick turned orange (blue?) and he said yep, that's amniotic fluid all right! And you are NOT leaving here without a baby.....
HOORAY! They weren't going to send us home only to come back hours later. Those were good words to hear.
He asked a bunch of questions and based on the fact that her water broke the night before, he was either going to do some tests and based on those results put her on antibiotics or he was just going to go ahead and put her on antibiotics. Then based on how things were going, he may induce her using a pill (a little more natural than Pitocin). There was some confusion based on the translation but we all felt we more or less knew what was going on......

Ariella was going to get some blood drawn for the tests and Yisrael and I were starving!! We decided to go grab something to eat. We left the hospital and went to an Angel's bakery branch. We got toasts and a few rugelach. Brought some back for Ariella too. We came back to the hospital but they are REALLY strict about food and didn't want to let us back in.
At that point, Yisrael decided to go to work for half an hour. He knew he needed to go at some point that day and we figured it was only going to get busier. So now was the best time. He went to get his car and I snuck my food into the hospital. Of course I didn't eat it for another half hour or so because I was inside. But when they were doing something else to Ariella, I went out to grab a bite. After a little bit, she joined me outside.
They wanted to give her a dose of antibiotics but they had to wait until a room in the maternity ward opened up. As soon as that happened, they would call us and we could get settled. We hung out outside for a bit. Then back inside to the women's waiting area. We waited and waited and waited. The A/C was not working and we were shmoiling!!!

Ariella mentioned that this was completely not how she pictured the day going!! In her mind, Delivery Day involved a frantic phone call to me in the middle of the night, a rush to the hospital, and lots of stuff and pain going on once we got here. In reality, we were sitting around.....waiting........facing random contractions......talking......hanging out...... eating.......
This was strangely reminiscent to my labor with Jonah. Except we were hanging out in a nice birthing room and eating bagels that my friend Jocey brought!!

We went back into the admitting room and asked if we could wait there, due to the fact that the A/C was broken. They said no so we said we were going to sit in a nearby hallway. They didn't have any news on a room for Ariella so they told us to come back in 15 minutes.

We sat in the slightly more air conditioned hallway and debated what to do. Should Ariella walk around to try to get things moving? At that point, it seemed like the contractions were really tapering off. She was definitely stressed and there is no way that was good for labor. She wanted to be settled in a room and here we were, totally in limbo and not knowing when and where we were headed. It was really frustrating.

Yisrael came back and we went to check in about the room. This time they said 5 more minutes and we should wait outside. So we sat in the separate waiting areas (and took a picture) and after about 5-10 minute, they came to get us. YAY! We figured we were finally making it to Labor and Delivery so we could get things started......

And break time................ come back soon for Part 3!!

My Birth Story.....From the Other Side

2010-06-29T20:26:00.003+03:00

Two weeks ago, I witnessed the most amazing, phenomenal, fantastic, beautiful, wonderful, incredible, breathtaking event. I watched a miracle happen right before my eyes! On one hand, I am speechless. I feel there is no way I can put into words what I saw. On the other hand, every time I try to repeat the story, people tell me "Ooh, that's gotta go in your blog!"
So, here I am. Blogging it. But there is no way I can give justice to it.

First, the history.
My first "meeting" with Ariella was online. She posted a funny little comment on the Ariel Aliyah Facebook group. Something about how her name is Ariella and she is moving to Ariel and isn't that funny? And she is getting married to Yisrael (who lives in Yisrael....) And she is available to babysit.
We tease her about that post to this day. Of course, we repeat it in a very blond, goofy voice. So, hello? My name is Ariella, and I am moving to Ariel, and isn't that soooo crazy? Heehee.....

Then we met Ariella and Yisrael when we were all registering for Ulpan and got to know them a little bit through Ulpan and at our various small Ariel Aliyah events.

Our next big interaction with Ariella was when I had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night while I as pregnant. We didn't know what to do with our 2 sleeping children. So, we called Ariella. We knew she wasn't working yet and hoped maybe there was a chance she was even still awake, watching a movie with Yisrael. At 3 am.....when Yisrael had to work the next day..... Well, she wasn't awake but she came over anyway, stayed with our kids, and took them to Gan and daycare the next day. And didn't even charge us for her babysitting services!!! It was REALLY helpful and gave a glimpse of what a good friend she would become.

Over the next few months/year, we became closer. While they lived near us, we had them over for many Shabbatot in a row. Seudah Shlishi became a regular happening. It was nice. Then they moved. That was sad. But we give them enough grief about it so I'll move along.

Ariella knew that I have dreams of becoming a doula. However, I have never experienced a natural birth - natural meaning the way the baby is meant to come out as opposed to a c-section. Granted, I am a mom 3 times over but all my children have been surgically removed. :) While that in itself is a miracle, it's not the way I grew up thinking I would deliver my babies. As much as my husband loves the "ease" and "convenience" of c-section births, I feel robbed of something. And I will never know if I would have been able to actually push a child out of my body....

But I digress....So, about 9 months ago, Ariella got pregnant. I was one of the first people she told - so you can see how close we had gotten at this point. Some time after that, I think I may have offered to be her "doula". It was my dream to be there when someone gives birth. I used to hope for it when I was an EMT, always hoped to be there for any of my friends, and was just waiting for the opportunity to present itself. She agreed and I think we both thought we were getting a great deal! She was thrilled to be getting a free doula. The fact that we are close friends and she trusts me and felt I could help her through labor was more important than the fact that I didn't have any training. And on my end, I was so excited that I might actually witness a birth!!!
We talked about it through her whole pregnancy and she did a lot of reading and I did some reading and we talked about how it would play out and how to make sure we incorporate Yisrael so he doesn't feel left out.
The last 3 weeks before she finally went into labor, I slept with the phone next to my bed. I must have woken up as many times as she did every night. I would grab my phone, to make sure I hadn't missed a call!!! Shabbas was really difficult and although they had gotten permission to call me (without me answering) to give me the signal they were on their way, I was sure I would miss a call.

I finally did get the call. Although not quite in the manner I was expecting.......

TO BE CONTINUED...................

Goodbye Grandma

2010-05-18T17:47:00.001+03:00

Marguerite Grossmann Malka bas Vilhem Died: May 15, 2010/ 2 Sivan 5770 Funeral: May 17, 2010/ 4 Sivan 5770 Bnai Amoona Cemetery (Buchholz Mortuary)

Beloved mother of Brenda DeLano and the late Rick Martinez
Dear sister of Frances Hyman and Art Grossmann and the late Joseph Grossmann
Dear grandmother of 6, great-grand mother of 11
Aunt, great-aunt and dear friend.

Dear family and friends,

We're here on this saddest of occasions as we say tzayschem b'shalom -- our final goodbyes to Margo Grossmann-- Malka bas Vilhem. Our presence today is a kavod and honor to the memory and the life of this wonderful woman.

I must point out that we find ourselves in the period of time known as Shloshet Y'may Hackable; the three festive days before the the major Jewish holiday and Yom Tov of Shoves. As such, a number of prayers that ordinarily would be said are omitted in deference to the sanctity and holiness of the holiday. Additionally, hespedim/eulogies are not recited at a funeral during this period of time for the same reason. However, given the unique personality of Margo and her life, I'd like to share some words of reflection about who she was and what she accomplished. And if through those words we find ourselves inspired to become like Margo even to a small degree, that would be the greatest kavod, the greatest honor we could give to her.

John Ruskin, a 19th century author and art critic, observed that you can tell the genius of a painting only at the end of the day. It's when the little details are blurred in the dusk that you can see the grand design of the painter. I think this is a metaphor for being human; the meaning of a who a person was is best visible at life's end -- particularly for one who has lived an exceptionally long life. The details of life fade in the dusk; what remains at the end is the impression of a whole person, and what they truly achieved and accomplished. In her 96 years Margo Grossmann achieved and accomplished many marvelous things -- not the least of which was the remarkable family which she left behind.

Jewish tradition teaches that one of the ways that a person's character is best judged is by the way they interact with close family members. We're well familiar with the person who is admired and highly thought of by strangers, acquaintances and even friends -- but those who know the person best -- the immediate family -- may have a less-than-flattering impression of who they really are. With Margo, the opposite is true. And while even a short visit with Margo would leave a person deeply impressed -- as I was in my one 45 minute visit with her the day before she passed away -- I've seen that you, Margo's immediately family love her, respect her, admire her as a wonderful mother and grandmother of exceptional character, and who was the Matriarch of your family. I could tell from my discussions with you, Brenda, and your family at your mother's home this past Friday and last night that you and your family adore your mother, place your mother on a pedestal, and consider your mother to be a great and important woman. What does that mean?

Our rabbis teach in Pirkei Avos/Ethics of the Fathers (3:13) "If the spirit of others finds favor with a person, that's a sign that the Almighty, as well, finds favor with that person." You who knew Margo best, have the highest opinion of her. According to Jewish tradition, the same, then, can be said about G-d. He has a very high opinion of her.

Margo had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. And it wasn't simply that she had a quest to understand obscure facts and information -- such as details about the life of the crocodile (learned from a park ranger in Florida), or hours spent carefully examining a Salvadore Dali art exhibit. Margo wanted to understand people and what made them tick -- like in the story you shared of her visit to the dentist, who she somehow peppered with questions while her mouth was filled with instruments as she was having dental work done. Margo wanted to understand the world, because it was her world. She was an explorer!

She explored the big things. When she was quite a bit on in life she traveled to England, stayed in a hostel and got a job there -- no doubt in large part to have an opportunity to get to know and explore life in England. Margo wasn't afraid to travel even very late in life -- traveling on her own to Israel, incredibly, just last year. What an independent, responsible woman.

And Margo explored the little things. Seeking mastery of the English language by conquering New York Times crossword puzzles. Seeking to master and conquer the games of bridge and poker. Using her great artistic eye and fine attunement to sensitivity to notice the tiniest details around her, and to create a beautiful, finely designed home.

In her 96 years Margo, in many ways, mastered the power of her own mind by forcing it to serve her, rather than being subject to it's own whims and desires. The glass, to Margo, wasn't simply half-full, but overflowing. An incredibly positive person, she understood, apparently at an early age, that the secret to happiness isn't wanting more, but appreciating and taking pleasure in what you already have. Margo exemplified the traditional Jewish approach of 'samech b'chelko' ; she was spiritually wealthy because she was able to count her blessings, and ignore unpleasant things and get on with life.

The 96 year journey of Margo Grossmann was a joyous one, filled with with laughter, dancing, and delight taken in that which meant most to her: her family. She was the big sister who fought the battles of her younger siblings, and later became an inseparable best friend of her sister Frances. She never gave up on being a Mom, and was always trying to guide and teach Rick and Brenda. The point of money, to Margo, was that it was a vehicle with which to help others through tzedaka and charity. The point of time, to Margo, was that it was a resource to be used to help others. Giving to others was her focus, and Margo took great joy in giving.

Although Margo wasn't raised in a traditional or Orthodox home, she clearly had a deep sense of the importance of Judaism, and obviously was successful in transmitting it to her offspring. I had the pleasure of knowing Rick when I first came to St. Louis in the late 1980's; he was a fine man, a wonderful man who was sincere and passionate about the Torah and a life of Jewish observance. Brenda -- the many years of your having lived in Israel is strong evidence of your mother's influence and evidence of both her own pride and your own pride in being Jewish and a commitment to our people and the land of Israel. And Margo's six grandchildren and eleven great grandchildren are, as far I can see, deeply and sincerely committed to the G-d of Israel and His Torah. Happy is the woman who leaves behind such a legacy.

On a final note, I must tell you that don't think I'll ever forget my brief and only meeting with Margo. She was 96 years old, the second-to-last day of her life, suffering with an end-stage illness. And while she seemed somewhat uncomfortable, she was completely lucid, sharp, pleasant -- even laughing, at times, curious, open and honest. And she exuded a grace and glow that I can only describe as being both regal, and spiritual. I'm so pleased, Brenda, that you gave me the opportunity to meet her. And I'm so honored, you that you have honored me to officiate at this very special woman's funeral.

As John Ruskin said, life, like a painting, is best visible at the end of the day. Marguerite Grossmann leaves behind the legacy of almost a century of years that were well lived. She was irrepressibly curious, independent, adventurous, intelligent, kind, giving, spiritual, and proud to be Jewish. Her greatest legacy is the ripple effects she has left behind in her many offspring, and the unforgettable memories those who had the privilege of meeting her will always carry with them.

May her soul be bound up in the bonds of eternal life, and may her memory be a blessing for us all.

Rabbi Ze'ev Smason
Nusach Hari Bnai Zion Congregation
St. Louis Missouri

A Letter to Yochai

2010-04-18T22:58:00.003+03:00

March 7, 2002

Dear Yochai (z”l)

Hi. It’s me, your beloved troublemaker, Natalie.

It’s hard for me to believe that you are gone, that you have gone on to bigger and better things, higher and more important places. Hard to believe that in this lifetime, I will never again see your smile or hear you laugh. I won’t be told by you to “show up in full MDA uniform” and be scolded to close that silly top button. And I won’t be able to tell you, face to face, what I should have said last week.

So I write this letter to you. And I hope somehow you will receive this message.

First and foremost, I want to apologize. I want to tell you I am sorry for getting angry about things that seem so unimportant now. You mentioned once that we are very alike and that’s why we kept going “head to head”. I told you that you were wrong. But now I want to say that to be like you would be a great honor. To accomplish even half of what you have done and to begin to touch lives as you have is a goal I strive for.

The line between teacher to student and friend to friend was very thin. To let you down as a teacher was hard. But to disappoint you as a friend hurt me deep inside. I was looking forward to working with you next week in arranging a MDA course for students on my Overseas Program at Ben-Gurion University. I was sure it would make you happy. Yochai, I wanted to make you so proud.

As it says on our Magen David Adom certificates, “To save one life is like saving an entire world.” I can only begin to imagine how many lives you have saved and how many worlds you have created. So too, everyone in the courses you taught have gone on to save lives around the world and educate people about Eretz Yisroel and Magen David Adom.

The lessons you taught me on the course and the things I have learned about you since then have changed my life forever. You gave me a chance to give back to the country that has given me so much, an opportunity I have been longing for since the moment I stepped foot in Israel. You also reminded me that life is short and I must live every moment to the very fullest. And that when I find something I love, I should put my complete heart and soul into it. Not only that, but I should share it and spread the love to others. In the short time I knew you, I learned this is exactly how you lived. Yochai, you made a difference in my life and taught me that I, one person, can too change the world.

Thank you Yochai Porat (z”l).

May you rest in peace.

I love Israel because.....

2010-04-01T22:49:00.004+03:00

Here are some recent reasons why I love living in Israel.

On our drive up to Maalot, we stopped at a gas station. I was looking at some candy bars to see if I could figure out which were Kosher for Pesach. Some guy next to me (may have been a manager) said "Oh, are you looking to see if they are Kosher for Pesach?". I said "Yes" and he pointed out which one was. Then he went to look in another section to see if there were any more there but there weren't. I realized we had meat for lunch so instead I just bought our Kosher for Pesach Cokes and Grape Juices. I loved that the gas station manager knew exactly what I was looking for and could help me.

But even better.....we stopped at another gas station later on. Way out in almost nowhere. I went in to use the bathroom and noticed plastic sheets covering a lot of things on the shelf. I thought wow, it looks like a grocery store kashering for Pesach. When I came out, I peeked and saw it looked like it was covering Chametz. When Shauli went in, he noticed a sign on the door that said "On Pesach, we won't sell Chametz". How cool is that in a gas station!!!!!!

We went on a nice hike yesterday and at the end, everybody stopped to eat. Most people buying from the snack cart but some people bringing their own food. I LOVED looking around and seeing everyone with their matzot or whatever creative food they could think of to bring for a hike. We're all in the same boat!!! (Well except for those of us who don't eat Kitniyot - it's a bit harder for us).

And another fun thing, Shauli and I went to a concert last night at the Agam (lake). They have a festival during Chol Hamoed Pesach and at night have free concerts. The singer was Lior Narkis whose song called "Lkol Echad" was a huge hit 10 years ago. I LOVED it then and still love the song now. We went to the concert basically so I could hear that song. He doesn't appear to be religious and the vast majority of fans of his at the concert did not appear to be religious either. Of course, we are all Jewish so he wished everyone a Happy Pesach too. But in the middle of the concert, he starts singing a song about believing in G-d. "Anachnu Maaminim maaminim" which is a popular song here at any religious events. Everyone cheered when he started singing that song and we all sang along. What an awesome feeling!! All of us standing there singing a great song abut believing in Hashem!!! It was pretty cool.....

So that's my wrap up for now on why I love Pesach in this country. :)

Next year may we all celebrate together in Jerusalem with Moshiach!!!!

Car Advice

2010-03-25T10:49:00.002+02:00

Ok...one of these days I am going to get back to blogging. I have noticed my recent posts have been mostly questions and looking for advice. But before I get back to blogging, I need some advice again.

I know nothing about cars but we are getting to a point in Israel where we really need to buy once. Since we are quite poor, we are looking for something very inexpensive. The main things we will be using it for is driving around in Ariel, errands, etc and maybe heading to Petach Tikvah for some bigger shopping trips. We will also need it for occasional trips to Jerusalem, Modiin, Maalot, etc but those are more like monthly.

There is a company/guy who helps Anglos buy and sell cars and he sent me a list of what seem to be very affordable cars. First of all, has anyone heard of Zvika Cars? What are your thoughts?

Second of all, does anyone know anything about the following cars:

2000 Daihu Lanis
1997 Mazda Lantis
1996 Mazda 323
2002 Opel Corsa

Let me know your thoughts....................

Shabbaton In Ariel

2010-03-06T21:40:00.001+02:00

Looking for that perfect place? Trying to find the best fit for you and your family?

Young, central, and affordable, these have made Ariel a very attractive city for those in search of a place they can call home.

Ariel is a city with stunning views and a great climate located in the center of Israel- half an hour from Tel Aviv and 20 minutes from a large Hi Tech area. With a population of 20,000 and a large university with over 11,000 students, Ariel is a microcosm of Israel with religious and secular, young and old, Israelis and immigrants. It is a model of Israeli society all embedded in a warm and welcoming English speaking and Israeli community.

If you are looking for the right place for your family- Ariel is the city to consider!

In a good location and with a wonderful community it can become your home in Israel.

To fully experience Ariel come join us for Shabbat on April 23 and 24th.

Interested?

For more information and to RSVP: arielshabbaton@gmail.com

(Please help spread the word and let folks know about this in your own blog... thanks!)

To My Cooking/Baking Friends

2010-02-18T14:40:00.002+02:00

Couple questions....

I need a simple pasta salad recipe. Something yummy for Seudah Shlishi.

Since graham cracker crusts are hard to come by in Israel, I need an easy recipe for an equivalent crust. This is for a chocolate mousse type pie.

I have lots of leftover pieces of puff pastry dough (that we use for deli roll). What can I do with them? Preferably something desserty. Like cinnamon rolls or involving chocolate?

Last one, I need a good zucchini kugel/quiche/pashtida recipe. I was never into zucchini but I've tasted some REALLY good ones since we moved here!

Thanks to all my excellent cooking and baking friends!!!

Olympics

2010-02-14T16:22:00.001+02:00

Does anyone know when figure skating is supposed to be on? (In Israel) And what channel (on HOT)?
Or is there somewhere I can watch it online? I LOVE figure skating!!!

Also, any other suggestions on what to watch. There's no gymnastics.....

Need Stroller Advice

2010-02-11T10:11:00.002+02:00

I'm posting this blog for my friend who is going to have a baby in a few months, IYH, Bshaa Tova. She has asked me to be her "doula" for the birth, which as many of you know is my dream!!!

Anyway, she is a new mom-to-be and on the hunt for the Perfect Stroller. Remember that?

Her parents will be bringing it from the States - along with a car seat. So now I need your suggestions, recommendations, good points, bad points, all the stuff you can share about your stroller(s) experiences!

Here are the things that she is looking for.....

- Folds up nicely to fit in their teeny trunk.

- Basket on bottom

- Car seat can snap on stroller

- Lightweight

- Affordable (?) Give your suggestions either way on this one.

Thanks!!!!!

Potty Training - Day #2

2010-02-07T16:35:00.003+02:00

WARNING: This blog may contain some details that may be shocking in nature. If you have never potty trained a child, you may not want to continue reading. :)

We sent Sammy off to daycare today equipped with about 6 pairs of pants and 6 pairs of underwear.
On the way there (we drop off Jonah first at Gan and then go to Sammy's daycare), Sammy had an accident. So we changed him at Jonah's Gan.

We got to daycare and dropped him off with explanations to Sammy about how to tell them he has to go in Hebrew and with wishes of good luck and success to his teachers.

When I went to go pick him up, Shauli and I took bets on how many changes of clothes he had gone through. Gosh, aren't we supportive parents? I was dreading them handing me a bag full of dirty clothes reeking of pee and poop.

But when I got there, his teacher looked up and said oh, he was great. I said, what do you mean? Sammy ran over to me and he was wearing the same clothes I sent him in!! His teacher said he did not have a single accident but he also did not pee at the potty when they sent him. Basically, he held it in until naptime. When they took off his diaper after naptime, it was FULL of pee and some poop.
Later that afternoon, his teacher walked into the bathroom and saw Sammy sitting on the potty. He had gone in there all by himself, taken off his pants and underwear, sat down, and pooped. LOL!!!
So she cleaned him up, brought him out, and all the kids clapped and said "Kol HaKavod or Congratulations!!!"
No accidents the rest of the afternoon. When I asked Sammy why he didn't pee on the potty, he said there are no dogs on it. We have a potty seat at home with pictures of dogs. Ok......

So that was exciting and I thought to myself on the way home, wow that was easy.
I should have known better.

We got home and asked Sammy if he wanted to sit on the potty, he respectfully declined.
10 minutes later, asI was doing laundry and Shauli was about to leave, Shauli said, "It smells in here, I think one of the kids pooped." I said "Please don't let it be Sammy."
It was Sammy.
Thank G-d for my fantastic husband who stuck around and changed him (as opposed to running out the door, pretending like he didn't smell anything). Don't worry, I didn't make him do it all. I was lucky enough to wash off the poopy underwear while gagging. Ew.

And now he is back in underwear. At least until the next accident.....

Is it wrong to want to send him to daycare in underwear and put him in a diaper when he gets home?
Let me rephrase that. I know it is not wrong to want it but is it wrong to actually do it......?

Thankful

2010-02-06T23:56:00.003+02:00

I'd like to take a moment to be thankful for the good things in my life. Big and Small. Many of which I take for granted, or I don't see them for the blessings that they are.

One of my Facebook statuses last week was something about how I feel that all I do is work, take care of my children, and do laundry. After seeing some other friend's statuses or hearing some not such great news about others, I should have said - Thank G-d, I work, take care of my children, and do laundry.

One friend was just able to take her little daughter out of the hospital. She has health problems and was hospitalized for what they thought was a virus but it was an infection - scary stuff. I don't know many details because my updates were really through Facebook but when it involves little children and hospitals, it's scary.

I just got an e-mail that a girl I grew up with (who is a little younger than me) was recently diagnosed with cancer. I don't know any details - just that people were asked to say Tehillim for her. She is married and has a young daughter.

Another close friend of mine had a baby (as you probably saw on my Facebook) while she was visiting the States and only 27 weeks along in her pregnancy! She and her husband are now in Florida for the next few months dealing with all the issues that come along with having a preemie baby. They spend their days back and forth to the hospital and are overjoyed every chance they have to hold their baby.

I could go on and on. I am sure we all know people, or maybe are those people, going through those tough times in life. Or maybe we have had them in the past. Please G-d, let's hope not to face them in the future.

But this week I hope to have a new outlook. When I start to get stressed about no money in the bank (and why are we not allowed a "minus" like all the other Israelis), I have to remind myself - thank G-d, we can put food on our table. We somehow managed to buy the groceries this week- and even had Shabbas guests! When I am stressed about not paying the bills on time - well, according to a friend - many people are a month late, don't worry about it!! Not that I plan to always live like this. But we take it day by day. Step by step. We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. Those are the essentials.

Thank G-d Almighty, my kids are just battling colds here and there. Kayla may be small but she is VERY healthy and active as anything! Thank G-d for our health.

As I trip over the kid's toys or put in load after load of laundry, I need to say Thank G-d. There are people out there who would do anything to have kid's toys to trip over. And I am lucky enough to have 3 wonderful, healthy, awesome children.
Sammy started potty training this afternoon - and it was actually kind of amusing. He had 2 accidents but then he made it to the potty twice. And not only that, but Jonah and Kayla all trooped in with him when he sat on the potty. After he peed, we all did the potty dance (yes, we had Shabbat guests at the table but this was a big deal). And Sammy kept singing the potty song afterwards. I was SOOOO proud of him. His brother was so proud of him. Kayla was just happy that her brothers were happy. And Sammy was proud of himself! If the worst thing I have to wash this week are some peed on pants and underwear (I'm really hoping for no #2 accidents), life ain't too bad.
:)

I had some friends over tonight and we watched the movie "Motherhood". We are all either mothers or soon-to-be mothers. There were many times in that movie where we all nodded our heads or laughed in agreement. Been there!!! We ate snacks, ordered pizza, and just hung out.
A few of the girls stayed afterwards while we relived and laughed about our HORRIBLE birth experiences! Obviously, the mom-to-be's were gone by then. But if you had told me while I was going through some of the most emotional, painful, amazing experiences of my life, that I would be sitting around, laughing about it with friends - I probably would have slapped you. But that's what we did.
And I am thankful to have had tonight. I'm thankful that I have good friends here that are "on the same page" as me. I'm thankful to be living in Israel - even if it finally did get cold - at the beginning of February. I'm thankful for my awesome husband, who did the HUGE pile of dishes tonight, and hid away in the other room while I had my "playdate" with my friends.

I know I may lose my temper this week, and I know I will be stressed about money this week (week before payday - yikes!) and I know I may not enjoy cleaning up "accidents". But I hope I can remember tonight and the fact that when I really take a look at my life, I have it pretty good. I've got a great hubby, some awesome kids, a steady job, and I'm living in Israel!!!

May everyone who reads this be able to appreciate the good that they have in their lives. And may the ones going through hard times come through them quickly, and stronger than they were before. Refuah Shelaima to all those out there who need it!!

Please contact me for Tehillim names.

Birthday Pics

2010-01-27T09:34:00.002+02:00

I think I remember once reading in a magazine about how a mom used to take yearly pics of her daughter. But the special thing about these pictures is that she would put her daughter in her wedding dress. And every year - she would take a picture of her daughter as she grew. Obviously, she was swimming in it for the first number of years, then it looked more like a dress-up thing and then it got closer and closer to fitting her. In the end, she took a picture on her wedding day - wearing her mom's dress!!!
That idea stuck with me and now that I have a baby girl, I'm debating whether or not to start this little yearly "ritual".

What do you think? Is it cute - or weird and creepy? :)

Lift Space Question

2010-01-20T08:54:00.002+02:00

For those of you who have sent a lift to Israel or have sent stuff on a lift to Israel - how much did you charge or were you charged per cubic foot?

Just trying to get an idea of the average cost. We were quoted something and it seemed really high.

We want to send a couple boxes on someone's lift......we just need to find that someone!! So I guess that is my other question. Do you know anyone sending a lift? It can basically be almost anywhere in the States. Although I am specifically looking for someone in Detroit, Cleveland, or Chicago for some of the heavier boxes.
Please spread the word.

Thanks for your help!

Another Sammyism

2009-12-13T09:37:00.002+02:00

At last night's Chanukah party, Sammy came over to me and said:

Sammy: "Can I have some babysauce?"

Me: "What's babysauce"?

Sammy: "You know....babysauce"

Me: "Do you mean applesauce?"

Sammy: "Yah. Applesauce is babysauce...."

:)

Jumbled Thoughts and Mad Love for Israel

2009-11-15T23:08:00.004+02:00

It's been awhile since I've posted so I'll just try to write something that will be impossible to put into words but is something I wish I could make everyone understand.

Where to start?

Well, for one - one of my closest friends had a baby a week ago. And she is in Detroit. And I am here. And it's awful. I HATE being so far away. I hate not being there to take her to the doctor when she went into labor (like I did with her first child). And I hate not being there to visit her as soon as she even thinks about having visitors in the hospital. And I hate not being there to buy this and that for when she gets home from the hospital. I was really bummed the day after she had the baby because I really felt a million miles away. And I was reminded how this is the part of Aliyah that sux. There is no way around it. And I have no clue if it gets any better but if getting better means drifting apart from my friend, I don't want any part of it. And I was thinking of how it must have been hard for my close friends (and family) in the States when I had Kayla and how they were the ones who felt far away. And I wondered for a split second - is it worth it? Am I happy with my choice?

Despite all that sadness of being so far away, I am so confident and sure in my decision, and I am 100% positive I did the right thing. I love living here so much, it's almost unbelievable. I wake up every morning and I usually take my boys to Gan and daycare. And every single day, on my walk home, I look around and I think wow - I LOVE this country. I am happy simply walking through the streets. It just makes me happy to be alive. I am so proud to live in this country. I am so comfortable living in MY country. A Jewish homeland. No other place in the world is like Israel. No other place in the world accepts me and opens its arms to me the way Israel does.

I played basketball tonight and the man in charge of the gym was sitting in his office, playing over and over and over a song called Im Eshkachech by Yaakov Shwekey. Take a minute and look it up on YouTube or something. The chorus has this amazing haunting melody that just wraps it's arms around me. I had heard the man (his name is Gavi) listening to this song a few weeks ago and today I went in and I said, I HAVE to know what this song is! Can you play it for me?

He said that he listens to this song over and over again. He said his son went to the States a few months ago and all he wanted for his son was to find a match. He is 27 years old and he just wanted his son to be happily married. Someone randomly sent him this song and he started listening to it and thinking of the meaning. Israelis are lucky like that, they can understand ALL the words without even trying! He must have found some connection to this song, because he said he would listen and listen and listen to this and 2 days later, he found out his son was engaged. And now he has even more of a connection to the song. As he listened to it, I saw tears come to his eyes. It's neat to see someone have that connection to a song. A connection that I feel.

When we first started playing at the gym, I didn't know Gavi from anyone. And I certainly didn't have anything in common with him. He's an older guy, didn't "appear" to be religious, and was just the guy in charge of the gym. But over the past few months, I've gotten to know him a little better. A bit about his family, about his travels to the States, and now his love for Yaakov Shwekey's music and how it hits him "right here". He doesn't wear a kippah, but he is most certainly a religious man. And I love that about this country too.

We're all connected....we're all Jews....and this is our country. We "get it". A country we have fought for, died for, and will continue to do so until Moshiach is here. I am proud to be Israeli and I am proud to call this country my home.

I don't think this post came even close to conveying what I am trying to say or how I feel but maybe, just maybe, I was able to explain to all of your who don't understand (and to some who do), why we picked up and moved halfway across the world to start a new life. Miles and miles away to all those we held dear to us.

It is SO right here. It's so awesome here. This is the place where I belong, the place where my family belongs, and the place I can't wait to watch my children grow up in.

Now if only you guys would come here and make it complete!!

A Toddler's Prayers

2009-11-02T12:25:00.001+02:00

Sammy (while sitting on his little car): I'm going to Yerushalayim!!!

Mommy (that's me): What will you do there?

Sammy: I'm going to the kotel!

Mommy: What will you do at the Kotel?

Sammy: I'm going to daven to Hashem.

Mommy: What will you ask Hashem for? What will you daven for?

Sammy: Ice cream!

That's my boy.........

Censorship AKA Magazine Pics Part 2

2009-10-26T16:25:00.003+02:00

I originally wrote this Note as a Comment on my Facebook Note titled Magazine Pics (see previous Blog). But it got really long so I am writing it as a new separate note.
I still haven't turned the magazines in yet so let me know if you think they need more censorship. I don't want to be known as the crazy American Mom who brought in all the magazines with inappropriate pics!

I have some Parenting, American Baby, Bon Appetite, and a Living and Loving magazine. Totally did not think they would have inappropriate pictures. But then I went through and ended up with a whole pile of pictures/pages I tore out.

Then I second guessed myself and wondered if I was being too extreme (I felt like someone in Iran censoring reading material!! Ok, I am exaggerating a bit....)
Here was my criteria - tell me what you think......
Took out all ladies in sleeveless or very very low cut tops. Left in ladies in short sleeve shirts and regular necklines and pants.
Took out all breastfeeding women because they generally were not very covered. I KNOW it's a totally natural thing, yada yada, but they were not feeding in the most tzanua way...
Took out all women's bare bellies. But left in the men in swimming trunks.
Unsure where they stood on naked babies (no frontal nudity just cute little tushies) so I think most I left in.....but I can just imagine a bunch of 4+5 year olds screaming TUSHIES!!!
Hmm.....what else? Left in young girls in swimming suits but took out ladies in swim suits.

Mainly, I thought of the more religious parents in the Gan and how would they feel if the pics came home to them on a poster or something....would it make them feel uncomfortable or would it be ok?

The strangest censorship I did was one of those Mirena birth control devices. I didn't think the Rabbi would appreciate it plastered on his kid's project because it was a "funny shape".
:)

So? What do you think?

Magazine Pics

2009-10-26T09:41:00.002+02:00

There was a sign outside Jonah's Gan today that requested parents to bring in magazines or newspapers for the kids to use to cut up for projects. In parenthesis it said, Of course, all magazines should be appropriate for a religious Gan.

Now, what does that mean to you? Where do you draw the line? What pictures are considered okay and what pictures are not okay?

Please share your thoughts on this one........

ISO: A Good Night's Sleep

2009-10-15T12:46:00.003+02:00

I have been totally exhausted every night this week. I don't know if it was because of the 8 hour work days I put in at the beginning or the couple days at home with Kayla trying to accomplish way more than is humanly possible or both of those in combination with fighting some kind of stomach virus. Or if it's just a general combination of trying to work as many hours as I possibly can and take care of a house and family. Either way, I collapsed every night at around 8 or so. Sadly, I didn't get to sleep the nice 12 hours straight I probably needed.
Let's take last night for example.......

It was 7:30 and the boys were doing their usual complaining about going to bed. Kayla had fallen asleep so I lay down with her in my bed waiting for my "turn" to sing to the boys and put Kayla in her crib when they finally decided to be quiet. I sang to them and lay back down with Kayla. I was trying to decide should I get up and work or should I go to sleep. I was so tired after a long day and in the midst of my debating, I fell asleep. At 8pm!!!! Of course Kayla woke up shortly after that but luckily Shauli (my knight in shining armor) stayed up with her. It was, after all about 9pm.....Well, I am glad I got in some good sleep then because the rest of the night was a disaster.

1am - Jonah woke up howling in pain that his ear hurt. We gave him some Tylenol but then there wasn't much else to do. I read him a few books to keep his mind off it and gave him an ice pack. It was so hard watching him in that much pain. He kept begging me to make it end. And there was nothing I could do for him except hope that the medicine kicked in. Eventually he went to sleep so I went back to sleep.

3am - Sammy wakes up and tries to sneak into our bed (his new trick). I think we would have let it go except he started kicking me in the head. So Shauli takes him back to bed where he starts crying and wakes up Kayla. Then Kayla is WIDE awake and no matter what I do (nurse her, bottle feed, lay down with her) she is ready and raring to go. That lasted until sometime after 4am. Ok - back to sleep.....

4:30am - And Jonah is up once again howling in pain. Sadly it hadn't been quite long enough to give him another dose of Tylenol but I stayed with him for a little bit and gave him another ice pack and eventually he fell back asleep.

6am - And Kayla is up once again so I feed her. She falls back asleep and I snooze a bit until Jonah climbs into my bed.

And that pretty much ended my night's sleep.

Is a Good Night's Sleep really too much to ask for?

Percentiles

2009-10-12T12:39:00.002+02:00

A funny story to share with you....

We all know Kayla is petite, right? That fact has been established. She was born smaller than my boys (but they were both a week overdue and she was at least a week underdue).
So she was born small (6 lbs) and stayed small. I think in the beginning she was in the 15th percentile for weight. At about 4 months she was in the 10th percentile. At 6 months, she was beneath the percentiles, and shortly after (when I started supplementing with formula) she climbed back up into the 3rd percentile. It certainly has saved me on buying new clothes!! She has been in the same clothes for much of her life. I guess by the time the cold weather rolls around, it will be time to graduate to a new size.

Well, we went to her most recent Tipat Chalav visit and she fell off the charts again. Oops. Luckily, we have a fantastic nurse and she doesn't yell or scold or anything. She just gives some suggestions and told me to come back in a month to weigh her again.

When we went home, I told Shauli about her weight and said how she used to be in the 3rd percentile and that even though she did gain weight now she is beneath the percentiles. He said, "So before, she was in the 3rd percentile. 3 percent of all babies were smaller than her and 97% were bigger than her. And now she is under the percentiles so 100% of all babies are bigger than her??" And I said, "I guess so...except for all the other babies that are also not on the chart". And he said "So she is a percentile. She is whatever percent bigger than those other babies."

Good point. I know my baby is not the smallest baby ever in the world! So there are babies that are smaller than her. So the percentages don't make sense. Right? Or are we missing something here....

Expect the Worst and You Might Be Pleasantly Surprised

2009-09-24T19:37:00.002+03:00

I made the dreaded trek out to the Tel Aviv US Embassy today with Shauli, Jonah, and Kayla.
We needed to take care of a couple things. Report of Birth Abroad for Kayla, passport for Kayla, and passport renewal for Jonah.
We had already tried this once at the Jerusalem Embassy but arrived late for our appointment and were told to leave because we were too late. And we had rented a car and made a special trip out to Jerusalem! Talk about frustrating!!!
After that bad experience, we decided to try out the Tel Aviv Embassy and finally got around to making an appointment.
We took the new bus direct to the train in Rosh HaAyin and then the train to Tel Aviv. Yes, I know we could have taken a bus straight to Tel Aviv but you never know if you will get stuck in traffic (most likely you will) and I know for the kids, it's way more exciting to take the train. And for me, it's way more comfortable to take the train!
From the train in Tel Aviv we took a cab to the Embassy and arrived about 15 minutes before our scheduled appointment. Shauli took our backpack and phones to go check them at a nearby storage facility (for 10 NIS). In the meantime, the guard checked that I had an appointment and pointed me towards the door for people with strollers. I was allowed to take in our stroller plus my diaper bag/purse. Truth is, I think I could have gotten away with a much bigger bag (a real diaper bag or something close) and put in food, drinks, pretty much whatever - as long as it wasn't electronic. As I was going through security a lady said to me, "Oh, I think you are coming to see me." And I answered, "Um....I don't know?" And she said, "US Citizen services?" And I said "Yes, passports and for my baby." And she said "Yep, you go right ahead and I will be there in a few minutes." I told her I was looking forward to it because she already seems so nice!!!
As I was trying to open the door, another person came along and offered to help me. And then a nice man saw that I looked lost and pointed me in the right direction for US Citizen Services. Woohoo! Off to a good start. Everyone so friendly and English being spoken everywhere!!!
We got to the room and it was empty...... I looked around and was like ok... am I in the right place? The place where I expected to wait hours.....there must be a trick. I brought Jonah over to the toys (they have toys, a TV, kids books, and magazines!) and looked at the 4 windows which were all empty. Then a man on the other side noticed I was looking a little confused and came over to his window where he apologized profusely because he didn't notice I was waiting. Can you imagine?? He apologized to me!!!!
Shauli arrived and we told the man (who actually was Australian and a new worker there) what we were there for. We went through all the papers I had brought and I was actually prepared and gave him the forms, originals of all documents, plus photo copies! Except I had brought a regular size envelope instead of a large one, luckily they have extras on hand there and too much postage (I brought enough for 2 envelopes but he said they would put them all in one when they send them back).
My fear was the passport photos..... I had them taken for the kids at 2 separate places and they ended up being 2 different sizes (neither of which were 2x2). Apparently telling the Israelis taking the passport pictures that you need American passport photos, doesn't cut it. They have no clue what that means (at least the ones in Ariel). I knew Jonah's were way too small but I was hoping Kayla's would make the cut... They didn't. Lucky for us there was another woman there who overheard and told us that the same place where they check bags also do passport photos (I bet they get a TON of business). So Shu took both kids there to get new photos done and I finished with the paperwork. Everything went smoothly, the man was so helpful and pleasant.
Shu returned and we paid (ugh) with our American credit card. Then we took a seat and waited. Not too bad though - 15-20 minutes? As soon as we discovered the books/magazines we got called to the next window. That's where my "friend" from earlier was sitting. She checked our receipts and had us sign a few things (even let Jonah sign his own passport paper). Made some cute faces at Kayla and chatted Jonah up. And then sent us on our way!!!!!!

We were in and out the door in less than an hour!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dare I say, it was almost an enjoyable experience.... Here I was expecting a total nightmare based on various stories I have heard and it turns out (in my experience) the people were so nice and helpful, there were no insane wait times, and the whole thing was generally a very easy process.

Since we had all that extra time, we actually went to the beach afterwards (right behind the embassy) and then headed over to Azrieli mall where we met my friend, Laurie, (who I know from Ben Gurion Uni) for lunch. Mmmmmm....Chinese food.....

We also happened to get roped into a new phone plan with Cellcom (many many more minutes for less money and fancy new phones!) And the crazy part is - I spent about 2 hours or more dealing with Cellcom!!!! More than double what I spent at the Embassy. Who knew?

So....moral of the story. If you expect the absolute worst, you can only be pleasantly surprised.

Dirty Shoes

2009-09-21T16:25:00.000+03:00

This article totally freaks me out. Because my baby daughter Kayla seems to be drawn towards shoes. No matter how many toys or other things are in the room, she will find the pairs of shoes, go get them, and proceed (as many babies do) to put them in her mouth....

Ew gross!!

And after this article, I am slighty freaked out.
Can your flip-flops kill you?

Thanks to Concerned JewGirl for the link.

Scissors

2009-09-16T14:25:00.001+03:00

Last year, at the end of the school year, Jonah's teacher mentioned to me that he has trouble cutting properly. So over the summer we worked a little bit with Jonah on cutting, letting him cut, and even buying him special Lefty scissors. At this point, we still aren't sure if he is a lefty or a righty because he uses different hands for different things. Even when he is writing, sometimes he uses his left hand for English writing and his right hand for Hebrew writing.

Cutting is a skill we take for granted but it is also a skill that we learned when we were young. Jonah is now learning that skill but as the one trying to teach him, it's not so easy. I show him how to hold the scissors but he says it hurts his hand. Instead of his thumb being on top, he likes his thumb on the bottom, with fingers on top. Well, that is about the extent of my occupational therapy skills. What else am I supposed to tell him or show him to get him to hold the scissors correctly?

Have you faced this issue or one similar with your children? What did you do? I did mention it to his new teacher this year and she said she had already noticed and would keep a further eye on it and try to work with him. She told me to work with him at home but I told her, I try to show him how to hold the scissors correctly and he just says it hurts and he doesn't want to. Not quite sure what else to do beyond that. She told me to let him practice cutting. But does it matter if he is cutting "incorrectly"?

Shauli thinks this whole thing is craziness. Let the kid cut, the way he wants to. What does it matter? Why is everyone making such a big deal about how he holds the scissors? I don't really know the answer but I'm guessing it has to do with other fine motor skills. If he can't hold scissors correctly and it hurts him, maybe it will affect other fine motor skills in the future. Or maybe it's just an issue with cutting and I should let him cut the way that is most comfortable for him.

Need some opinions on this one ...............

Letter to Our Aliyah Shalicha :)

2009-09-15T11:11:00.004+03:00

Dear Shira,

Hi there. I just wanted to drop a quick line to you and let you know how we are doing, a year after we made Aliyah.

We moved to Israel last September and moved straight to Ariel. We could not have made a better decision or found a more fitting city. It is beautiful, the community is so warm and welcoming, and it is situated in central Israel and therefore close to everything. The Anglo community has really grown in the past year and we have found both new Israeli and Anglo friends. In fact, we just hosted a Kiddush on Shabbat to celebrate the birth of our daughter and to celebrate the completion of our first year. One of the hardest things about making Aliyah was leaving our friends and some family behind and I was filled with such warmth and happiness looking around and being surrounded by so many new friends.

I want to thank you so much for your assistance in helping us with this huge step in our lives. I'd also like to make a personal request. When you speak to people considering Aliyah and talk with them about communities, please keep Ariel on file in your mind. :) It is really is a fantastic community - a real city with a small town feel to it, a growing Anglo community but plenty of immersion with Israelis. Affordable housing, and not too far from Tel Aviv or Jerusalem. I would be happy to be in touch with anyone considering making Aliyah and/or moving to Ariel and tell them about my experiences here. Ariel may not be the city for everyone but I know there are many many people that would be and are happy here. I appreciate you spreading the word to those it may be right for.

By the way, are you the Shaliach for St. Louis too? And if so, has my grandmother, Margo Grossmann been in touch with you? I know she is considering Aliyah (which would make us SOOOO happy) so I thought I would let you know she is my dear Grandma. :)

Thanks again,
Natalie Zacks

PS- I am attaching a family picture taken a few months ago at my nephew's bar-mitzvah.

Shauli's Speech at the Kiddush

2009-09-14T09:41:00.002+03:00

Shabbat Shalom,
We decided to give this Kiddush to give thanks to Hashem for the birth of our daughter, Kayla Rivkah, and to celebrate completing our first year living in Israel.
We named our daughter, who was born in January, Kayla Rivkah. She is named after my grandmother, Rivkah. She was a great בעלת חסד, her house was always open to guests, and our hope is that little Kayla can emulate her מדות . As we were looking for names, we came across the name Kayla, which we really liked. We discovered that the name Kayla has Hebrew origins meaning crowns. Or so we thought.

After I named her in shul, Rav Avner came over and asked me what Kayla is. Shai Urim was there and he answered it’s a very nice American name. So go figure, we have our first child born in Israel and we give her an American name!

However, since then we’ve heard some nice possible meanings for Kayla, such as derived from the name Michaela, which means "who is like G-d", or that it is connected to to the Hebrew word קהילה ,community.

Which brings me to the second reason for this Kiddush. We celebrated our first complete year in Israel this past week,and it has been quite the experince, ברוך השם We, as well as our kids, have adjusted to life here, found friends, and can't imagine living elsewhere. We are filled with gratitude to Hashem and to the Ariel community, who have made us feel at right home.

Thank you very much!

Kiddush

2009-09-13T08:17:00.005+03:00

Well, the Kiddush on Shabbat was a smashing success!!!!

We decided to finally have Kayla's Kiddush (to celebrate and thank G-d for her birth) and also have the Kiddush to celebrate our 1 year "Aliyahversary".

Did a big shopping trip on Wednesday (thanks to Rechelle for the ride and to Joanna for calming me down and helping me choose pretty tablecloths, napkins, etc.)

Thursday we had a family BBQ for those who wouldn't be able to come to the Kiddush. But only Sarra, Shlomo, Sruli, and Shev showed up - plus our friend Shlomi. Must have been something about "S" names. Although that doesn't excuse Sim, Shany, Shilo, and Shoham. :)

Friday, Shu and I cooked for Shabbat dinner in the morning and then I started getting nervous about the cake platters I bought. They were WAY too small! So Jonah, Sammy, and I went to the mercaz and raided the 5 NIS store. It's supposedly the $1 store but that would mean 3.77 NIS so that's not quite the case. Jonah and Sammy each got a toy for coming along and behaving so nicely, and I didn't find any platters but just bought big rectangle aluminum pans to put the pretty pink napkins inside. The boys also each got a "Barad" (icee) before we left too.

As we got off the bus near our house they saw Dotan (of the barbershop Otan and Dotan) sitting outside his shop. They are huge fans of Otan and Dotan and often call out their window "Otaaaaaan! Dotaaaaaan!" as they are supposed to be sleeping because they can see the shop from their window. We passed him and Jonah said I want to get my haircut. Sammy agreed. I was surprised but that was fine. I had planned to take them next week but with Sammy's long days at daycare, getting a haircut today and next door would be preferable.

We went home, got some money, and returned. Little did we know - there was a LOOONG wait. Jonah was fine. Sammy began to freak out before we even got through the door. He was clinging to me, crying, and begging to go home. But after the 20+ minutes we ended up waiting (and the stickers Dotan gave them) he calmed down enough and was ready for a haircut. Jonah went first and did an excellent job. He's a pro already and has never really been scared of haircuts. Although at some point he got hair in his mouth so he tried to wipe it off with the "cape" that he was wearing and proceeded to get hair all in his mouth and all over his face. It was pretty gross - poor kid.
Sammy's turn! He asked to sit on my lap but Dotan convinced him it was more comfortable to sit on the big pillow instead. He looked so small sitting in that big chair with the haircut cape on him. Just his tiny head and tiny feet sticking out. I wished I had my camera. And he had such a brave look on his face!!! Well, we got through the haircut and he did surprisingly well. I think even Dotan was shocked. Kol HaKavod Sammy!!

Back to Kiddush preperations....got home and started getting nervous. There was still so much prep and then we had to get the things to shul. AH! How was it all going to get done?? Lucky for me, my friend Yael called and offered to come over with a friend and help me out. They had both worked at Chabad on Campus and were used to preparing meals for lots and lots of people. They came over and I showed them the pans, baked goods, and veggies (needed to be sliced and plated). If life were a cartoon, there would be a whirlwind of activity, hands moving, peels flying, and in a minute, the dust would settle and there would be 5 platters of baked good and 4 platters of veggies all perfectly prepared. Wow!

Then our friend Josh came by and picked up the sodas, boxes of food and paper goods, and the baked goods and veggies and we dropped them off at the shul. That was that.

Had a very nice Shabbat dinner along with our friend Shaya who spent Shabbat with us. Then we had a scary experience with Shauli breaking out all over his body in hives!! That was not fun. But he survived, thank G-d. We think it may have been an allergic reaction to the new detergent I used. Who knew Shu was so sensitive?! :)

Shabbat morning arrived and the guys headed for shul. I made it there by about 10:00 and fluttered around nervously until kiddush time. Then so many people offered to help I didn't even know what to do with everyone! Luckily, Idit and Joanna and Yael and a few others really took care of things. The tables got set, the food went out, and it was time. Rav Avner made kiddush and once again, in cartoon world there was a whirlwind. Plates flying, crumbs all over, and when the dust settled, the food was all gone.......
:)
A regular kiddush at our shul consists of Bamba, pretzals, chips, crackers, store bought brick cake and soda. A fancy kiddush consists of those items plus cholent and kugels. We made it in between and served: Bamba, pretzals, crackers, pink and white marshmallows, carrots and cukes, chummous and matbucha, and home made cakes, cookies, and brownies. Not to mention instead of just plain white tableclothes and napkins, we spruced it up a bit with bright pink tablecloths and cute pink napkins with baby girl shoes on them.

Avi introduced us and I think he said some nice things about us, however it was all in Hebrew so I didn't quite catch it all. Then Shauli made a nice speech both in English and Hebrew (I will post in my next blog) and then we cleaned up and that was that. I met a bunch of new people who asked about Kayla and about us in general and we got lots of compliments on the Kiddush. So Hooray! It was a success!!
Thanks everyone for all your help and for those who couldn't make it, you were missed.....

I will attach a pic of the cute napkins and maybe one of the tables (although that was Friday afternoon so it's missing quite a bit of the food).

School - Then and Now

2009-09-03T16:35:00.009+03:00

As we approached the beginning of the school year, there was a feeling of excitement in the air. For about a week prior to school starting, whenever you met another parent, the conversation always started with - it's almost time for school to start. Hooray!!!!
Gan started on September 1st, Jonah's 5th birthday. So it was a good day in general! He is in Gan Chova this year which is the equivalent of Kindergarten. He also switched from the 3+4 year old gan to the 4+5 year old Gan.

The Big Day

Jonah was mostly looking forward to his new Gan and we had gone to an Orientation the week before. We met the teachers and saw the Gan and the yard (complete with basketball net).
Although as we got closer, he was a bit more hesitant and as we passed his old Gan he said, I don't think I want to go to Gan. But he put on a brave front and we arrived at the Gan. The teachers greeted him warmly and he sat down at a table to play with the other kids. I stuck around for a few minutes, taking pictures, and chatting with him and some of the other parents. Every once in awhile he would glance at me and give me a shy smile. He was fine with me leaving.....I was the one who was having a harder time. Well, Sammy (my 2 year old) was really excited to go to Ma'on (daycare) and kept pulling on me, "Let's goooo". I waved goodbye to Jonah and off we went.

I cannot begin to compare the difference between leaving him last year and leaving him this year. And I am NOT envious at all of the new Olim going through this with their own kids. I remember the tears, the emotion, the heartbreak. In fact, one day I too left in tears. I kept wondering, what did I do to my kid??? How could I take him away from a Gan he loved going to every day and put him somewhere that he doesn't know the kids, doesn't speak the language, and is in tears as I leave.

Those were a rough couple of weeks in the beginning. But now I look at him and listen to him talk about Gan and I want to burst with pride. Because not only does he enjoy going (and his teachers seem to love him) but he is helping out the 2 other Olim boys that are in his Gan. Whether it's translating between them and the teacher or showing them different toys, or playing with them in the yard, he is helping them fit in and feel comfortable. And next year, those boys can help the next batch of Olim. It's a good cycle we have going here. And a fantastic community.

Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem, Thank G-d!!! Life is good. :)

To Serve or Not To Serve

2009-08-21T10:45:00.002+03:00

I was so proud of myself for getting a jump on my Shabbat cooking last night. I made 2 challahs and a Rice/Noodle dish. And then I was really tired so I went to bed.

Sadly, the little elves who were supposed to put away my food left the rice and noodles out of the fridge.

So, here is the question. It came out of the oven about 10:30pm and went into the fridge (when Kayla woke me up) at about 5:30am. It was no longer hot.

Before I throw it out, I figured I would check with my loyal readers (and those who know more about Food Safety than I) and see what you think. Is there any salvaging this dish?

The ingredients are rice,noodles, chicken soup mix, onion soup mix, margarine, and boiling water.

Let me know what you think - and I prefer to err on the safe side!

Speaking of Sauce.....

2009-08-13T20:19:00.001+03:00

Me to Kayla: Kayla, are you hungry? What should I feed you?

Jonah: Mommy, feed her some Potato Sauce.

Me: What's potato sauce?

Jonah: It's like apple sauce. But made from potatoes.

Me: Oh yes, of course....

Language Barrier

2009-08-05T21:36:00.003+03:00

I was looking for some applesauce today and stopped at the dry goods store in the Merkaz of Ariel. They sell a lot of random things in addition to the spices, beans, rice, nuts, etc. so I figured I would take a chance.

I asked the man if they sell "Apple sauce" but I said it in English because neither me or Jonah knew how to ask for it. He didn't seem to understand although repeated the word "sauce". I said in Hebrew, "you take apples" and made the motion of like grinding them up. He looked like he might know what I was talking about and walked over to a table. From there, he took something and asked if that was what I was looking for. It was some kind of spread and he asked me, "to put on sandwiches?" I said no, to eat and made the motion of eating something with a spoon. I said for kids, or babies, or anyone really...

Then he said, "Ohh.....we call that Gerber".

:)

Petition

2009-07-31T13:53:00.002+03:00

Please sign this petition to Ron Nachmun, Mayor of Ariel, and the Name Change Committee.
Mayor Ron Nachmun wants to change the meaning behind the name of Ariel to honor Ariel Sharon.
You can see an article about it here: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/132385

Ariel Sharon was behind the Disengagement of Gaza 4 years ago. Some of the community of Netzarim now lives in Ariel and it would be a slap in the face to them if the city decided to honor the very same person who threw them out of their homes. And for what?

For peace? Or for the Arabs to destroy that part of the land......

Here is a link to the petition:

http://www.atzuma.co.il/petition/arielcity/1

Thank you!

If I forget thee, O Jerusalem

2009-07-30T15:41:00.002+03:00

Psalm 137 contains the phrase "אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני - If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget".

Jonah and I were discussing why today, the 9th of Av, is such a sad day. I asked him why it is a sad day and he told me because the" בית המקדש נרשף, the Holy Temple burnt."
I asked if he knew the song "אם אשכחך" and if he knew what it meant (see translation above).

He told me, "Well, Mommy, I'll always remember Yerushalyim, but sometimes I forget which is my right hand."

May everyone have an easy and meaningful fast and may this day next year be one of celebration at our Holy Temple in Jerusalem.

Poll

2009-07-26T09:06:00.001+03:00

Question:

For those of you who have made Aliyah or are making Aliyah - where did you choose to move, why, and how did you find out about it?

Thanks!

I love Ariel.

2009-07-22T08:36:00.002+03:00

I wrote the title and accidentally posted that as my blog. But that pretty well sums it up. Everything else is just details.

When we came on a pilot trip a year and a half ago, we had 2 questions to answer. Do we (by we, I mean Shauli) actually want to make Aliyah and where do we want to live. The first question is difficult but at the same time simple. It's a yes or a no. The path of our lives depends on this decision but there is no grey area - we make Aliyah or we don't. Lucky for us, the answer was Yes.

Question 2 was actually harder. There were SOOOO many options. SOOOOO many places to live and how in the world were we supposed to decide where to move based on spending a couple hours somewhere - with someone who does like living there. That was really intimidating to me.

I think we had a list of about 20 cities to check out. We made it to about 5.
Maalot - Pros = FAMILY, beautiful, not too big/small, big houses. CONS = few Americans, too FAR from everything/everyone.

Modiin - Pros = FAMILY........ Americans (for Shauli) Cons = Affordable renting/not affordable buying, Way too many Americans (for Natalie), too big of a city, bland. Or in the words of one of the residents of Modiin a "Concrete Legoland".

Tel Mund - Our dream city (based on what we read in the Bayit Neeman B'Yisrael book). The people who showed us around had a GORGEOUS 7 bedroom MANSION (of course, they just sold their house in the 5 towns, etc etc). We asked if there were any younger couples, with not so much money...basically the answer was no.

Pardes Hana-Karkur - not sure how we ended up at this place but it was a strange little town. Not for us....

Rechovot/Kfar Saba/Ramat Gan(?) - Drove through and decided on the spot they were too big for us. We didn't want a real city with real city problems like traffic and parking and noise.

Ariel - "Come to Ariel lalalalalala" Sorry, that's the ringer for the people who work in Ariel (like Reuven and Milka and used to be Avi). If you've called them, you know what I mean and you are singing it now too.
Ariel kind of snuck onto our radar. We had our pilot trip set with our list of 20 cities and right before we went on our pilot trip we met with someone from NBN who talked with us about cities and said that maybe we should check it out. So we did.
We spoke to the Aliyah coordinator for about an hour about it. Then we came to visit. Then we came back for Shabbat. And we loved it! From what we could tell, the community was very welcoming, it was pretty, it had everything you need for your day to day living but without the probs of a large city, it was affordable. It was also the first city we went to where people laid the cards on the table. They told us about Ariel (pros and cons) and it was like "This is our city. Take it or leave it. If it's for you, GREAT, we can't wait to welcome you with open arms. If it's not, ok". I didn't feel like they were trying to "sell it". Maybe because it doesn't need to be sold. If this is the type of place you are looking for, it sells itself. And if you aren't interested and are looking at places like Modiin, Maaleh Adumim, or Ramat Beit Shemesh - then this city probably is not for you.
At the time of our pilot trip, there were not a lot of Americans. But there was a lot of enthusiasm about bringing Americans. From the mayor to the people in the community - their goal is getting Olim to Ariel. And they will do whatever they can to help accomplish that.
So we became some of the pioneers of Ariel. The first batch came last summer (that was us and some others) and a few more trickled in through the year and another batch are coming this summer. And it's wonderful. Every person who makes Aliyah to Ariel (or who moves here from within Israel) makes a difference here. That is one of the best things about this community - you make a difference. You can get more involved or less involved but you are a part of Something and you matter. You don't get lost in the crowd.
And for Olim Hadashim, who are making this HUGE, somewhat terrifying move - we are here for you. The Israeli community is here for you. And us "veteran" Olim are here for you. Reuven (the Aliyah coordinator) is here for you, and the real veteran Anglos are here for you. From setting up a bank account and health insurance, to grocery shopping, to buying school supplies. There is someone who will hold your hand every step of the way - until you find your footing and can do it yourself. And then you will take the next Olah's hand and help them.....
That was really important to me. Because Aliyah is scary. It's a dream come true but it's not easy. And the fact that I had people there for me to answer both the big questions and the small was phenomenal. And I hope I can be there for the newbies like others were here for us.

One more thing that really sold it for me. Because this is something new for Ariel and the Anglo community is just starting out - the possibilities are endless. If you want something to happen here - step up to the plate and bring it. Leah wanted to have Shiurim in English, she now gives a weekly parsha class AND a weekly Pirkei Avot class. And people even come from Tapuach for it! Jodi wanted an English story hour and once a week, we get together at someone's house with the kids and she reads a story and does an activity with them. I wanted a weekly basketball game, and I started a weekly basketball game. And people come from Har Bracha, Itamar, and soon from Yakir for it! Yael wants to make an English Resource Center for the Shomron and she is working on that. We can help shape and mold this community the way that we want it to be.

I look forward to looking back :) 20 years from now and seeing how far we have come.

I am not going to say everyone should come to Ariel. Because they shouldn't. Not everyone would like it here (even if I can't understand why). But I do know there are people out there who are looking for something just like Ariel - and those are the people we want to find. This was actually the point of my blog. Yes, I had a point - not just to sing the praises of Ariel.

How can we get the word out? Where do people look when they are looking for a city to settle in? The NBN group seems to be mostly people who already made Aliyah or people who have been accepted to NBN - but I feel at that point, a lot already know where they are going.
For those of you who made Aliyah/are making Aliyah - where did you go to check out cities? Where should I post info about Ariel and what sort of things do people want to know about?

Thanks for your help and please come visit us "Settlers" sometime......

Settler Names

2009-06-10T23:23:00.002+03:00

Jonah made a new friend on Shabbat. This kid will be going to Gan with him next year. They became friends because said kid had brought a bunch of little airplanes to shul. Jonah saw that and it was instant friendship. :)

His pal's name is O'have Tzion or אוהב ציון. In Hebrew O'have means love and Tzion is Zion aka Israel. So would that be Loves Zion or Lover of Zion? Lover for short? :)

His brother's name is Na'ar Shalom. I think that translates to a Peaceful Boy.

There is a 3rd child with also a very "Settler-like" name but I can't remember it.

And they say Kayla is a strange name......

Scar Cream?

2009-06-09T12:03:00.002+03:00

This is a random post.....

Both of my previous c-section scars healed very nicely and evenly.
This time around, half the scar has basically healed and is even hard to see and half the scar is still red and ugly and gross. The surgeon did not stay on the same scar line for this half, but went below the originals. Not sure why.

Anyway, I vaguely remembering hearing about some kind of cream in the States that you apply to a scar and it helps heal it faster, better, etc.
So my questions are:

Does anyone know of this cream? What is it called?
Does it work?
Do they sell it in Israel or do I need to get it "imported"?
Is there anything else I can use to help a scar heal?

Thanks!

Basket Case

2009-06-04T14:29:00.002+03:00

I am sure you have all heard the term "basket case". Generally in reference to someone who is a mess, right?

Well, Kayla is having a very hard day. I don't know if it is because she hasn't napped well today or if it is because she might be teething. Whatever the case may be she was crying A LOT!!! And was only happy sometimes if I was holding her and walking around.

I was able to put her down for a minute with Jonah entertaining her (G-d bless older brothers)and came to the computer. I was chatting with my friend online (Shout out to Ariella T!!!) and said that Kayla was such a basket case. She said "haha, basket case. What is the origin of that?" I told her that was a good question, I certainly had no clue. And since we are living in the Age of Information At Our Fingertips, I googled it. Here ya go:

Originating in World War I for a soldier who had lost all four limbs in combat and consequently had to be carried in a litter ("basket"), this term was then transferred to an emotionally or mentally unstable person and later to anything that failed to function. [Slang; second half of 1900s]

And to think I called my daughter a "Basket Case"!!! I'm sorry Kayla....
I wonder what other terms I am using for my daughter that have terrible origins. :P

Kayla's Kiddush

2009-06-02T13:08:00.000+03:00

Boys are easier because you know that when the baby is born, the Friday night afterwards is the Shalom Zachor. And you know that assuming the baby is healthy etc, the bris is 1 week later. There is no procrastinating, there is no inviting, it's just the way things are. So while initially I may have thought having a girl party is easier because we can be more laid back, it's infinitely harder to organize. Also with the Shalom Zachor and brit, friends and family basically took care of it all. I wasn't quite up to it so soon after the birth.

Here we are, Kayla is 4 months old and we have not had a kiddush for her yet. So I really want to do something about that.

The question is do we just do a simple little thing at our shul? From what I understand, it's a bring your own kiddush food.
Do we still do something at our shul but also invite friends and family?
If friends and family actually come........where do we put them all? To sleep? To eat? To hang out?

Or do we do something on a weeknight or on a Friday morning.

My friend in the States who had a baby girl shortly after I did also has not done a Kiddush yet. She offered to have a Kiddush together with us and then we could split the cost. But that offer didn't go for the plane tickets too......

Any thoughts? Advice?

Skills

2009-05-30T22:19:00.004+03:00

Just wanted to give a little Kayla Update.

She is 4 months old now. Plus a week or so.

She weighs 5 kilo which is 11 lbs.

I don't know how long she is because the last 2 visits they didn't measure her. But the doctor asked if I thought she was longer than before. I said yes. That seemed to satisfy him. :)

She sleeps through the night very very well. (Bli Ayin Hora!!)

She smiles. She laughs. She makes cooing and happy noises. She skwacks. I don't know how to spell that or even if it is a real word. But it's a noise she makes when she wants attention.

And her latest and greatest feat that she started on Thursday and is now a pro at - she rolls over. From back to tummy. Sometimes her hand gets stuck and she can't pull it out (so she skwacks). But she is working it out.

And she's awesome and fabulous and adorable and wonderful.

That's your Kayla update.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

2009-05-10T08:50:00.002+03:00

Just wanted to wish all the Moms out there a very Happy Mother's Day!!!
To my Moms - Happy Mother's Day - I miss you!!
To all those who have been like a Mom to me - Happy Mother's Day - I am sorry that I have not been better in touch.
To my Grandma and Bubby - Happy Mother's Day to 2 wonderful, amazing ladies - you inspire me.
To all my fantastic sis-in-laws who I consider to be my sisters - I love seeing (most) of you so often, let's continue the simchas (not it). And to D back in the States - yes, we know you're the fave now.
And to all my friends, many of which are either new moms, Mom-To-Be's, or mommies of newborns (in addition to toddlers) - you are all incredible and I miss you so terribly much!!

Update

2009-05-03T08:24:00.004+03:00

The truth is, there have been so many things that I have wanted to blog about lately but when it all comes down to it, I haven't had the time. When I am at my computer, I am usually working. And when I am not working, I am often chasing after one kid or another.
3 kids - whew. Wipes me out...

So, I'll give a general update.....
Life is good. Thank G-d. Kids are good, thank G-d. I am so so so happy the winter is over because Bli Iyin Hora, we are able to stay healthy for more than 2 weeks at a time. Not to mention it's great having the windows open and getting the fresh air. I love this weather!

We got Jonah's confirmation that he is going to Gan Lotus next year. We will miss Arazim but it's time for him to move on to bigger and better things. :) This year he was in a Gan for 3+4 year olds (Gan Trom Trom Chova and Gan Trom Chova) and next year it is for 4+5 year olds (Gan Trom Chova and Gan Chova). He will just be there for 1 year though before he starts 1st grade. I am a little nervous because I don't know many of the kids - most of his little friends are staying at Gan Arazim but we know a few people switching over and I assume we will meet people. My Hebrew is improving bit by bit although I am still somewhat intimidated to use it. No matter, Jonah will meet people with no problem. His Hebrew is amazing!! He is even picking up the different verbs for boys and girls. Nice. I'm also excited about his new Gan because he will go until 3:30 everyday instead of 1:30. Woohoo!!!

Sammy had a crazy language explosion over Pesach. We were getting a little concerned because he wasn't using a lot of words and he wasn't putting words together. But we spent Pesach with his cousins (R&V for Seder and Shabbat and S&G plus S&S for the rest of the time). The cousins spent hours and hours playing with each other and Sammy just started talking and talking and talking. He doesn't stop now - B"H! Some of his cutest phrases are "Ew, gwoss" and "Woah baby!".

Kayla, our little princess, is getting so big - even though she is just in the 8th percentile for weight. She's just an itty bitty thing but so much bigger than when we first brought her home. She is finally starting to grow into some of her 3 month clothes. All her 3-6 month are still packed away in a bag just waiting..... She started smiling but she is a pretty serious kid. You have to work for your smile, she doesn't just give them out willy nilly. :) Her 2 big brothers absolutely adore her still and love to take care of her and worry about her when she cries. It's really really sweet. She sleeps VERY VERY well at night (Bli Iyin Hora - it's about time I get a good sleeper!!!) but likes to be held and paid attention to when she is awake.... we'll see how long I can work from home with her.

Shu is getting ready to start his own company. He has been having meetings with lawyers and accountants, and his partner - working on the nitty gritty. So he goes to J'lem a lot. In general that's ok but not when he gets lost trying to get to the trempiata (hitching post) and doesn't get home for hours and hours. This happened a couple times recently and I was nearly out of my mind from the kids. 3 tired kids in the evening - it's a lot of work.

As for me....same ol same ol, I suppose. Still working on the medical billing. It is a job that has really saved us this year - I am not sure what we would have done if we came to Israel with no jobs! Of course, it's not my dream job and one day I will move on. But for now, it fits perfectly. My hours are flexible, I can work day or night. So that's convenient. A couple times the websites I use weren't working so that was really annoying. Especially when it is over the weekend and people don't work on Sunday so I can't call to resolve the issue. Or if I am working in the morning here - it's the middle of the night in the States. So that doesn't help either. Annoying.
I am getting closer and closer to starting a women's basketball game. We had a time and a place (and a cost - booo) but that all fell apart when the guy in charge of sports quit his job. There was some shady stuff going on and apparently he feared for his life and the lives of his family. Yikes! But I persevered and there is a meeting today with the head of the Matnas (community center) and my game will be brought up. So hopefully that will get sorted out and we can start playing this week or next week. The question is do we keep it Anglo or invite the Hebs?
I am missing my friends in the States really really really badly. It's been really hard since Kayla was born because my friends there and some family haven't met her yet. It's weird and I don't like it. And I have a LOT of friends in the States who are either pregnant or recently had babies. And I am not there for that either. My friend recently posted some pics of her daughter's birthday party and a bunch of our other friends and their kids were there. I love looking at the pics and seeing how they are all growing up - but at the same time, it's so hard. It's so hard that we aren't there and our kids aren't growing up right next to them. I don't know if this aspect gets any easier. The other hard part is we have NO clue when we will see them next. I really want to plan a visit to the States. I am so jealous of my friend from here who gets to go back every summer for about 3 weeks or a month!! That would make things so much easier on my end. If I knew that every year I would spend a month in Detroit (and St.Louis) and just get to see everyone and spend time with family and friends. I could handle that. Sadly, we are financially nowhere near a trip to the States. So I guess you all have to come visit us here!!
As I have been telling people....we love it here. We really are very happy and love living in Ariel, have a great community, are making friends, are slowly picking up the Hebrew, are really getting settled in. BUT we still miss our friends and family in the States. It's not one or the other, it's both. Loving it here doesn't make us miss everyone less. And missing everyone there doesn't make us not like it here.

So that's that.
I am going to try and write a small post about Yom HaZikaron and Yom Haatzmaut. But right now I have to get to work so I will try to write it another time.

Ok Adina, I blogged, now I want some more pics. Hehe! :)

Words won't do justice........

2009-04-20T01:00:00.002+03:00

Wow, that was an experience................

It's almost 1 in the morning and I just returned from a pretty awe-inspiring time. We just went across the road from Ariel to an Arab village called Kifal Chares where the graves of Yehoshua ben Nun, his father Nun, and Calev ben Yefuna are. Yehoshua ben Nun was Moshe's successor and led the Jewish people into the Land of Israel. His father was Nun. And Calev ben Yefuna was one of the 12 spies sent to scout out the Land of Israel and report back. He and Yehoshua were the only 2 who came back with a positive report.

Since these graves are in an Arab village in the West Bank, Jews are not allowed to visit them. But once a year, on Yehoshua ben Nun's yarzeit, they open it up to the Jews. This year it was open from 10pm-4:30am and people come from all over Israel to be here. It was pretty neat that it was happening right in our neighborhood (more or less).
We got there at around 10:15 or so and waited around for awhile because they weren't allowing anyone in yet. They finally let us enter and we walked and walked and walked. It was a strange feeling, walking through the streets of this town where no residents were in sight. It felt almost like a ghost town. Apparently, the residents are put under a curfew- and that is one of the reasons they do it at night. So most of the people would be at home anyway. The army was there in full force(maybe not full force - but there were a lot of soldiers there), and it was very reassuring to see soldiers every few feet, and perched in strategic positions on rooftops.

The first Kever we came to was Calev ben Yefuna. We stayed there for a little bit and then continued quite a ways until we got to Yehoshua ben Nun's kever. This is where the action was. There was the actual grave with a big sign with the prayer "Aleinu LeShabeach" on it. Yehoshua wrote that when they were entering the Land of Israel. There was also a table set up with food and drinks for everyone. I just had some water but I saw rugelach and sweets and heard later that there was even kugel there!!
One of the nicest things I saw/heard was a class of 1st graders (our friend's son was one of them) who had just finished learning the Book of Yehoshua/Joshua and were making a Siyum to celebrate finishing it. How exciting that they were able to do this and come to his grave at the same time. I hope Jonah gets to do that too!

We stayed there for awhile and I teared up at one point. I was so inspired and so in awe. I was standing just a few feet away from where Yehoshua ben Nun is buried. The man who had the merit of leading the Jews into our beautiful and holy land of Israel is buried right across from where I now live. He paved the way, he brought Bnei Yisrael back, and now here I am. Thank you, Yehoshua. Thank you, Hashem. Thank you for helping me get to this stage in my life. It's my dream. My dream fulfilled.

A lot of people don't understand why we made Aliyah. A lot of people are really sad because of it too. They don't get how we could up and leave our family, our friends, and our comfortable lives. And move to a place where it isn't always "easy" or comfortable to live. Move to a place where we didn't really know anyone. And a place where we don't know the language that well.....
I don't know if I can put it into words. But what I wrote about above is one reason. One huge reason I am here.

Our Israeli neighbor and friend phrased it really well. And I know it is something I will think about a lot.

He said you can live next to history..... or you can live in history.
And in Israel, we are living in history.

And it's so true. In the States, we learned about all this. We learned Torah, we heard the stories, we celebrated the holidays. But it all happened "there". Far away in a land called Israel.
Now, we live in Israel. And all these stories, and all these people came from here. I can't believe that I just visited the Kever of Yehoshua..... right across the street from my city.
I hope when Jonah is in 1st grade and he finishes the book of Joshua, we will be able to come here and I will be able to show him where this great man is buried. Right next door to us....

I love it. This is why I am here. Because it's where I belong. It's my past....my present....and our future.

1st Child Syndrome

2009-04-01T14:16:00.003+03:00

Shauli (to Kayla): "Whose the big girl wearing the skirt??"

Jonah: "I am! Except I am a big boy wearing pants."

It's hard for him to imagine that the world does not only revolve around him anymore. He has to share it with his siblings. :)

Only in Israel

2009-04-01T00:08:00.005+03:00

Kid on the back of the Cornflakes box, wearing a Kippah. Love it!!

Chag Sameach, from our Coke Bottle. Also, it's an extra big bottle in honor of Pesach!

Stroller For Sale

2009-03-30T09:25:00.003+03:00

Before we moved, we had a number of people asking us to bring them double strollers on our lift (they paid for the space) because they said they are really expensive here in Israel. We went a little crazy and ended up buying one for when our new baby was to be born - thinking Sammy and Kayla will only be 21 months apart so we will still need a double. We also bought a double stroller to replace our double Jeep stroller to use for then - the bigger kids. That was a mistake for sure - I really miss our small double jeep stroller!!
Anyway, Sammy loves to walk and hardly even uses his stroller anymore to get to daycare. So I'm thinking, I really don't still need 2 double strollers! And sadly, we don't even have a normal single stroller. Just the Snap N Go and an umbrella stroller.
Soooooooooooooooo, I want to sell the unused double stroller. But need some advice, how much should I sell it for in Israel? I haven't shopped around for doubles here and don't think they even sell this model here.

It is a Kolcraft Contours Options Tandem stroller. Brand new in box (box is a little broken.

So, how much should I sell it for? And where should I advertise it? And does anyone reading this want to buy it??

In addition, does anyone know anything or have experience with a Zooper stroller? They seem really small and easy to push. Where is the best place to buy?

What to Do?

2009-03-18T18:35:00.002+02:00

Hooray Hooray!! I have a new nephew!!! Mazel Tov Sarra and Shlomo!!
Very very exciting.
I am going into Jerusalem tomorrow morning to meet the little guy and hoping I have a way back to Ariel. :) So I may have time to kill in J'lem with Shu and Kayla.

But aside from that, we will IYH be coming to Jerusalem for a Wednesday morning bris. We are going to rent a car and are looking for things to do on Tuesday and Wednesday with the kids. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks!!!!!

Big Brother

2009-03-16T21:31:00.003+02:00

Jonah and Sammy were playing with Kayla while she was in her swing this evening. Jonah accidentally bumped her with one of the toys that hangs off the swing and she started crying. He jumped up and said to me, "I'm sorry!! It was an accident." She was fine and I asked him to give her her pacifier to soothe her. He did then said to her:

"Kayla, I'm so sorry. Are you ok? Do you think that Big Brother doesn't like you? Are you worried that your Big Brother doesn't like you?? Well, your Big Brother does like you. And I will always love you. Even when you are big. And even when you are a Mommy. I will still love you."

It was SOO sweet!! He is crazy about that girl. :)

The Morning Shuffle

2009-03-15T09:07:00.003+02:00

I did it! Hooray for me!! And it was all accomplished by 9:00.
Ok, maybe it isn't as big a feat as I am making it out to be. But what can I say, I'm proud of myself.
You're probably wondering what I did that was so great......um...well....ok.... don't laugh.....
I got all 3 kids out the door this morning. By myself!!!
Are you laughing?

Yes, I have been lucky and spoiled up until this point because Shauli has been home with me. Although the reason he is home is because he doesn't have a job so that's not good but I like to look at the up-side.
I generally deal with Kayla in the morning: feeding, changing, cuddling, etc. It's a tough job but someone's got to do it. Shauli usually gets the boys ready and takes them to school. Occasionally we change it up and I take them to school - but then he stays home with Kayla. Even the mornings that he goes into Jerusalem, he generally leaves after the boys are already gone.

However this morning, he left at about 6:30am to tremp (hitch-hike) to Jerusalem. And I was on my own. Luckily, no children were awake at 6:30am. They all woke up at the same time at 7:30. So we started off on the late side. Kayla woke first yelling about how hungry she was cuz she didn't eat all night long!!!(That's an approximate translation). Of course as soon as I start feeding her, Jonah calls out that he has to go to the bathroom really bad and needs help getting down from his bunkbed. Picturing an accident about to happen in the top bunk - I detach Kayla (who is NOT happy) and rush into the boys room. Sammy is sitting in his bed, face covered with boogers (as usual) and Jo is leaning over his railing. I ask him to go to the end of the bed, so I can lift him down from there - where the ladder is and voila, he climbs down himself. I take Sammy out of his bed and rush back to Kayla who is wailing away. I start nursing her again, Jonah goes to the bathroom and Sammy, unsure of what to do - starts twirling in circles in the hallway.
Kayla is now trying to decide whether she wants to eat or doesn't want to eat - can't make up her mind - is this a girl thing?? I think she is enjoying the fact that I can do nothing else while holding her.
I take this opportunity to get the boys to the table and give them cereal. Kayla decides she does in fact want to eat and so I sit on the couch and feed her while Jonah eats his half bowl of cereal and Sammy (who usually eats about a bowl and a half) puts Cheerios in his mouth and then shows them to Jonah, who cracks up, encouraging Sammy to do it again and again.
Fine. Whatever. No one is crying. And I know Sammy will eat when he gets to daycare anyway.
After I more or less finish with Kayla, who doesn't want to be put down, I bring her swing into the boys room and get them in there to get dressed. Sammy is attempting to push Kayla's swing for her - NOT a good idea. Jonah is jumping about yelling about how he doesn't want to take his PJ's off because he doesn't want Sammy to hit him. It's a valid concern because when Sammy sees skin (like a back, tummy, or legs), he likes to smack it!
I tell Sammy to go get me one of his new shirts from the living room (they are really hand-me downs from Jonah but we just brought out the newest size and were going through them in the other room). Of course, that means Jonah wants to wear a new shirt but the only new clothes he has are summer clothes. And today is not summer weather. But since I don't feel like battling a 4 1/2 year old, I let him as long as he wears a sweatshirt too. Ok, 1 kid dressed. 2 to go. Plus me.
Next up to bat, Sammy. Diaper change first - screams! I can't wait for him to be toilet trained. But I think we have about a year to go on that one!!! I put his clothes on and he is excited about his "new froggy shirt" even though Jonah is jealous and begs me to buy him a froggy shirt (with a blue frog on it) too. Jonah says he remembers this shirt from when he was 3 and it was one of his favorites. He keeps touching the blue frog on Sammy's shirt. Sammy doesn't like it and Jonah tells him that "everyone is allowed to touch the frogs - not just Sammy". Although I can only imagine what Jonah would do if the roles were reversed!
Ok, 2 kids dressed. Socks and shoes. Kippah. Check, check, check.
I try to send them back to finish their cereal so I can get dressed but of course bothering me is much more interesting. Sammy however, doesn't want to miss out on his cereal so he goes to get his bowl, comes into my room and proceeds to dump out the Cheerios onto the floor in the hallway and my bedroom. Ooh - cleaning for Pesach will be a blast!
Sammy and Jonah start running up and down the hallway screaming. It's giving me a headache and scaring Kayla a little but no one is crying so .....
Ok, now I'm dressed. Now we just have little Kayla. I decide not to change her entire outfit (no time for that) but add a few layers of clothing. If I don't, I know all those Israeli women will lecture me about how cold she is. That's why Israeli babies always look so puffy. So many layers!!! Ok, so she's got a lot of layers, and fuzzy ones on the outside and while I am sure someone will make a comment, it's the best I can do. I know someone will say something about bringing her out in this weather. But what is my alternative - to leave her at home? Alone?

Jackets on the boys. Jacket on me. Jonah wants an umbrella because it looks like rain (great!) but our 10 NIS umbrella broke and hasn't been replaced so I convince him that wearing his hood will be good enough - and pray that the rain holds off.
Now - how do we transport all the kids? I put on this funny little front-carrier that makes me feel like a kangaroo. But since I can't push 2 strollers by myself, the front carrier it is for Kayla. It has a LOT of straps. And one of them goes on the upper back. The spot that is just out of reach of my hands.... And Jonah doesn't quite have the coordination to snap it by himself. So I snap it before I put it on and then put the backpack on like I am putting on a sweater. I get Kayla's arms and legs in all the right holes and we are just about ready.
We head out the door and then remember Jonah's backpack. I send him back inside while Sammy, Kayla, and I start the journey down the steps. Sammy still takes a while going up and down stairs. He wants to be held but that is just not going to happen. Jonah is worried we are going to "win" but I reassure him that he has plenty of time.
We mosey on down the stairs, make it to the bottom and I get out Sammy's stroller. He looks at it and announces "WALK". Oh great. He doesn't walk that much faster than he goes down stairs. My original plan was to take Sammy to daycare first, thereby avoiding a bunch of stairs with Sammy. But since it's already about 8:20 and Jonah's Gan gate gets locked at 8:30, change of plan. We'll take Jonah first because the lecture from Jonah's Gannenet is much worse than the one I would get at the daycare. It's too early in the morning to be scolded. :) We somehow make it to Gan, before the gate is locked. And there I get my first comment about taking the baby out in this weather. I tell her my husband isn't home and the kids have to get to school - Mah La'asot? (What to do?).
Sammy wants to stay at Jonah's Gan but luckily that doesn't turn into a huge fight. I keep reminding him that when we get to Ma'on (daycare) he will see his little friends, Maya and Etai. He constantly says their names whenever we are home. He loves them! So with promises of Maya and Etai, we head to Ma'on. There is a shortcut which we take through the park, the only problem with it is that there are about 50 steps to climb. They aren't 50 steps straight but it's like 4 steps and then a "landing", 4 more steps, then a "landing", etc. Sammy tries to make it up by himself (remember he was not interested in the stroller) but gets tired halfway through. So there I am, with my kangaroo baby on my front. I first take the stroller up the 5 steps, then kinda lift Sammy up the steps. I can't really carry him or even get a very good grip because of Kayla but we manage. Although we look ridiculous.
We make it to Ma'on in time for breakfast. I love watching all those little kids sitting at the itty bitty tables with their plates and big tablespoons eating up their yogurts or whatever it is all by themselves. Making a huge mess all over themselves. But so proud for being so independent. Sammy walks in, glad to be with his crew and is not phased when I say goodbye and leave. It is still harder for me to leave him than it is for him to stay. I think he enjoys being there now.
I see the lady in charge as I am leaving and she sees that I have Kayla so she comes over for a quick look. I brace myself for a comment about Kayla not being warm enough or something but she doesn't say anything!! She tells me how her "baby" is now 17 1/2 and it seems like just yesterday he was this small. We talk about how time flies - although my oldest is 4 1/2 and hers is 25. But when it comes to kids, time flies - no matter how old or young they are.
It is a nice feeling that I am starting to get more comfortable with the language and the people. There has definitely been a big language barrier issue. But I'm getting off the subject.
Ok, so Sammy's at Gan. Kayla and I start heading home and only get rained on (drizzled really) at the end of our trip.
Kayla then spends the next hour and a half wide awake and fussy!! Maybe she was mad at me for taking her out.
So I started work a bit late this morning. But I must say I am proud of myself and relieved that we survived.
However, I can also say that I do NOT look forward to a lot of mornings like this if/when Shauli starts working.

Ma La'asot?

Memories of Rick Martinez z"l

2009-03-12T15:21:00.004+02:00

Today is my dad's 12th Yarzheit.

I like to think if he looked down on me today he would be proud and happy. I'm very happily married to a wonderful guy, have 3 amazing kids, and live in Israel.

As Jonah gets older, he sometimes asks about my dad. Or makes comments about him. He knows that he is with Hashem. He also apparently knows that means he is dead. So much for "sugar-coating" it.

I'd like to ask people that knew my Dad to post or send me a Memory you have of him. It can be anything from a conversation to something you remember him doing. It can be something small or big - whatever. Just a memory.

As time goes on, I don't remember as much about him. And I am not around very many people that knew him so I don't hear stories about him as often.

So I would really appreciate if you could send me a memory. :)

Thank you!

Emotional

2009-03-11T17:13:00.003+02:00

Purim in Israel is AMAZING!!!!! I really loved it. I loved taking the kids to Gan on Sunday and seeing all the other kids (and plenty adults too) walking to school, waiting for rides, in Gan - and all dressed up. Everybody is into it.
My mother-in-law made a good comparison. In America, when we see everyone dressed up in costume - like people working in stores, walking down the street, etc - for Halloween, we think oh, how silly. They look ridiculous.
Here, in Israel, when the same thing happens but it's for Purim - we are SO excited!!
I guess because this time it's our holiday. This time we get to participate. And we aren't the minority. The whole country is into it. It's so great.

In general, I think we have been settling in quite well. And there are many times when I just take a moment to look around and realize how lucky I am to be living here. Living my dream. It's somewhat different than what I expected but it's amazing. I still look out my window at the hills of the Shomron and think WOW, I'm living here. I am living in Israel.
Last week I went to Petach Tikvah 3 times. This is a big deal because without a car, it's really difficult leaving Ariel (with 3 kids). Twice I went there with a friend in her car and once I took public transportation. Petach Tikvah is considered "The Big City" near us. It's exciting to go there, to go to the mall, eat at the food court, or go to some of the bigger stores. I enjoy it - but would never want to live there. Too big of a city for me.
On the drive there and back, on one hand, I am already used to the surroundings and the scenery. This is my home.
On the other hand, sometimes I still switch to my "tourist eyes" and remember how I would look at my surroundings and how I felt. How desperately I wanted to be living here. I remember how I would look at the trees and the buildings and the sky and the mountains and be in love. And I fall in love all over again. I love living here. I am proud of myself that I made Aliyah. I am proud that I am raising 3 young kids in this land. I am proud that I am working. I feel like everything I do here means more. It counts more.
I thank G-d for all this being possible. I thank G-d for sending me a husband that made ALL of the above possible. Life is good.....

On the flip side, I miss my friends and family SO much, it hurts. I have especially been having a hard time since Kayla was born. I just can't believe that my American friends haven't met her, haven't held her. My own mother has not even met her!!! It's really really rough. Some people might think that because we made this choice to make Aliyah and because we are doing well here and are happy here, that it makes leaving that much easier.
I don't agree.
I think the 2 things are completely separate. On one hand, I am happy here. I like the way our new life is turning out.
On the other hand, I MISS MISS MISS MISS my friends. Quite a few of my friends are having babies and a few had girls, just a little younger than Kayla. And I'm not there. Not there to visit them in the hospital, not there to make them meals, not there to just be there.

Our "chevra" all got together for a Purim Seudah and posted some pics. I started looking through them and it was so nice to see everyone and see how the kids are growing and how cute they all were in their costumes. A couple of our friends had babies at around the same time Sammy was born and as I looked at the pictures, I was thinking - we should be there. I can't believe we aren't there. It made me so sad, I had to stop looking at the pictures. I literally X'd the page. I couldn't handle it.

So my emotions are just back and forth. I am so happy and so blessed to be living here. We did the right thing in moving here.
But missing everyone is rough. Really rough. Does it ever get easier?

My dream plan, when Shu's business ends up being wildly successful, is to be able to spend about 4-6 weeks in the summer in America. This way, I would have some time to spend with friends and family. And to do some good shopping of course. And I would know every year when I would be going back and when I would see them again. That's one of the really hard parts now - we have no plans to go back to Detroit, we can't afford it! And we have no idea when we will come back either. So I don't know when I will see my friends there again. I don't even know when I will see my Mom!

So - to all your veteran Aliyah people - does it get easier? The missing everyone part?

Game Over

2009-03-03T09:55:00.002+02:00

I get a weekly newsletter from a website called BabyCenter. The above picture was on the newsletter this week.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Haha!

Boohoo?

Twelve Years

2009-02-22T21:56:00.005+02:00

February 23...
I hate this day.
My dad died today. 12 years ago. That's a long time. And it feels like a long time too. It doesn't hurt as badly. And I feel bad about that. I feel guilty. But I have just gotten used to him being gone. I feel like I have been without him for so long. It's just the way it is.

I don't like being used to it. I wish it still hurt. Then he would feel closer to me. I know I have blogged about this before. Blogged about these feelings. I started feeling like this about 2 years ago.

I want to write something special for him. About him. I know a lot more people will read this because I import my blog into Facebook. So I feel I want to write something good. Something meaningful. But I don't know what to say.

I can write about the day it all started. The day this whole life-changing cycle began. The day I found out. About his illness. His cancer.

I was 17. I had started at a new school in Pittsburgh. A new life. Living with my "Surrogate Family". Things were good.

Back in St.Louis my dad had been having some back trouble over the summer. My mom and I kept telling him to go to see a chiropractor - that he probably just needed a good adjustment. But he didn't want to go. But the back pain continued. Fast forward to October. October 23rd to be exact. That was the day he found out.

I found out shortly after. I had been trying to call my dad and wasn't able to reach him. And he wasn't calling me back. I started to get worried and so I called my grandmother. I think I left a message and she called me back. It was awful. My grandmother doesn't know how to give bad news. She doesn't know how to break things to someone. Not that there is any good way to tell someone their father is dying of cancer. And after all, this is her son!

I finally got her on the phone and asked what was going on. Where was my dad? Why couldn't I reach him and why didn't he call me back? She said, "Natalie. I have bad news. Your dad is very sick. He's very very sick. He's in the hospital. Your dad has cancer." There was such fear in her voice.
That was it. No sugar coating. No easing me into it. WHAM! I felt like I had just gotten hit with a ton of bricks. I couldn't breathe. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't believe I had just heard those words. I don't remember much more about the conversation. I remember being in shock, total disbelief. I was angry. I was hurting. When I hung up the phone with Grandma, I fell apart.I started crying. Hysterically. I didn't know what to do with myself. I ran outside of the house. I was crying outside. I knew I looked like a crazy person. Like someone who was out of control. I came back in. I was on the floor in my room. I didn't want to believe it. What the heck?? How could it be? It was just a stinkin backache!
The family I was living with heard the commotion and came to try and calm me down. But I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to be calm. I didn't want my dad to have cancer.
The cancer was "Adeno Carcinoma of Unknown Origin." Whatever the heck that means. It started in his back bone and spread to his hip bone and his sternum by the time they found it.

The doctors gave him 4-6 months to live. He died 4 months to the day after he was diagnosed. Talk about Iyin Hora.

I somehow managed. Got through day to day life. I wanted to come home but my dad said I shouldn't. He didn't really want me there during the chemo. It was too horrific and made him too sick. They say the treatment is worse than the disease.
They treated it. Radiation. Chemotherapy. We even tried homeopathic treatments. Anything to save my father. But it was too aggressive. It spread to his liver. And that was it. That was when they knew we were getting to the end.

We had a scare in January. I was still in Pittsburgh, going to school, doing what I was "supposed" to be doing. It was Motzei Shabbat. Someone called (maybe my grandmother?) to tell me what happened. My dad was in the hospital with a blood infection. And I needed to come home. I didn't get any more information or realize how bad it was until I talked to my Rebbetzin from St.Louis. It was really bad, really serious. People die from blood infections. The doctors did not know if he would make it through until the morning. And my Rebbetzin told me that I had to call him and say goodbye. So I did. I called my dad in the hospital and even though I felt like I couldn't even think straight I managed to tell him that I would be there in the morning, I would see him in the morning. And I told him that I loved him so much. I would be there soon.

A couple of my friends came over and we sent out a mass e-mail. Asking everyone to daven for my dad or do a mitzvah in his merit. This e-mail went all over, to all kinds of lists. All over the world. And I believe it worked.
I made it home in the morning and he was still alive. Not only that but we had another month with him. A month which I spent by his side every day. And every time I left the room I said, "I love you." The fact that he got better from the blood infection gave me hope - I thought maybe, if we all keep praying for him.......just maybe he would get better......

2 years ago, I wrote about when my dad gave us The News.
I still don't know how a parent does that. What he must have been going through to tell his children he was going to die. And soon. My poor dad.

After that, we moved him to some kind of Extended Care Home. It was basically a nursing home. It was awful there, people always asked if he was my grandfather. I think he was there for a week until we moved him home. Hospital bed in the living room, hospice care, and us.
It was hard living like that. Seeing my dad so sick. Never knowing when or how. But knowing we were nearing the end. On the other hand, we were lucky. We were really lucky that we had that time with him. That we knew it was the end. And we could say our I love you's and appreciate what time we did have left. Sometimes I just wanted to curl up into bed with him. Sometimes I wanted to ask him for something - a letter with advice. Some "last words". Something to pass on to his grandchildren. But I didn't. That would make it too real. That would mean accepting it. I wasn't ready. And by the time I may have been ready, he wasn't able.
I wanted to take pictures. I so desperately wanted pictures of him. He was the photographer in the family and so we have very few pictures of him. But I didn't take pictures because I don't want the images of him looking old and sick stuck in my head. I already have the memories taking over my other memories - I didn't need the photographic proof.

February 23, 1997. It was a Sunday morning. A beautiful, crisp day outside. A day my dad would have loved. And the day he died.
That's all for now. That's all she wrote.

Happy Month

2009-02-19T07:58:00.002+02:00

Wow, it's already February 19th. That means Kayla is a month old today!!!!
Ahhh, my baby girl is growing up. It happens so fast!!

She is treating us pretty well. She is not a big crier or anything. No colic, thank the good Lord. She just cries when she is hungry or when she is getting a diaper change. She's not a fan of being naked.

We've had a few good nights, where she has slept really well. And a few really bad nights - where she sleeps the evening away and then is up and ready to party starting about 11pm. Last night was one such night.
What makes it harder is Shauli has been sick since about a week after she was born. And can't seem to fight off whatever it is that he has. And I finally succumbed to the illness a few days ago. It wasn't too bad the first 2 days and I thought maybe I would win the battle. But the past 2 days have been rough. My lack of sleep certainly doesn't help and today my throat is on fire.

But I digress................ HAPPY ONE MONTH BIRTHDAY KAYLA!!!! Can't wait to see what the next few months/years bring. :)

Kayla's Birth Story - Part 3 - THE BIRTH!

2009-02-16T11:02:00.002+02:00

WARNING!!!!! THIS IS THE GRAPHIC PART OF THE BIRTH STORY!!! (Not to worry, it was a c-section so it was more gory than the kind of graphic you might be thinking)

Finally, they came and rolled me into the operating room. Shauli had to wait until I was all prepped and they started the surgery. But Sharon was with me the whole time. Talking me through everything that was happening. Oh my G-d, I was so nervous. I was scared, I was dreading it. I wanted it to just be over. Everything felt surreal. We got into the operating room and it was just us. Me, Sharon, and a male nurse with a funny name – Ubi or something. Sharon introduced me to him and then it was time to do the spinal. I kept thinking Ok, it's time. I can do this. I can get through it. I got onto the operating table and sat with my legs over the side. I had to curl my body like a banana and arch my back like a cat. Sharon was checking where she was going to put the spinal. She was poking around and it was pretty uncomfortable but she did a good job distracting me with random small talk about my Aliyah, my kids, etc.

Then it was time to get started and I guess first she did some local anesthetic which was like pin pricks and then she did the spinal. I had to move my legs back onto the table and then lay down. It was nothing nearly as dramatic as the spinal with Jonah where the scary anesthesiologist cranked my head all the way down and where I felt a whole shock down my side. Nope, this was way less dramatic. My legs started getting numb. The rtest of my body started getting numb. Then the rest of the surgical team came in and started setting up. I was introduced to a couple nurses. Sharon was great because she would do all the talking in English and translate for them if necessary. It made me feel like I, the patient, came first.

They set up the screen and got a couple things started. It’s a weird sensation. The whole process. One one hand, my entire body from chest and below is numb. I can’t move my legs at all. But I can feel some sensation. I can feel tugging and pulling. But not pain. They got started with the surgery. I was so thirsty and my mouth was so dry. I kept clearing my throat and was just horribly parched. I mentioned it to Sharon and she snuck me a few drops of water from a gauze pad. Ahhhh…… A couple minutes in and Sharon asked if I was feeling nauseous. I thought about it for a minute and said not nauseous but strange. Not good. She told me my blood pressure had dropped, which is very normal after having a spinal, and so I may feel nauseous. She was keeping an eye on it but I guess it kept going lower and lower. Then the nausea hit. Badly. And then the throwing up. Or what would have been throwing up if I had anything in my stomach. Oh, it was awful. It wouldn’t stop. Sharon gave me something to bring my blood pressure back up and I think something for the nausea too. That whole episode was also really weird because my entire lower body was numb. And throwing up usually involves the abdomen. But I just felt it in my mouth. Ugh. While it was happening, I was just wondering if I would make it through the surgery. Not if it was like this, I wouldn't. I just wanted it to be over. Finally, the medicine kicked in and within another minute or two, I felt better. So much better that I knew I could get through the surgery as long as I didn’t go back to that!! I was feeling really warm and asked Sharon to get me a wet washcloth for my head. My “comfort” cloth. She brought one but it had warm water so I asked for cold water and she said it would be harder to find but she got some! I started feeling a bit lightheaded and she gave me some oxygen. It was the mouth mask which was more annoying than just a nose one. But it helped relax me and remind me to take deep breaths when I was nervous or when things were bothering me. Then I just concentrated on breathing. My right shoulder got really really sore too and that may have been from when they were touching my diaphragm at the time. Weird.

FINALLY, Shauli was able to come in. A sight for sore eyes. But I was feeling pretty out of it and don’t remember a lot from this point on. I know that everything seemed to happen really really quickly after this. He had the camera and Sharon took a picture of the 2 of us. I happen to think it is a great picture. Not sure why. Maybe because it is so "in the moment". It was almost time for the baby and Sharon took the camera so she could take a picture as soon as the baby came out. She asked if we knew what we were having and I said we did but weren’t telling anyone. The baby was about to be born and Sharon said, “They are taking the baby out….I can’t see what it is yet….here it comes. Oh, it looks like a girl. You have a girl.” And they held her up right over the screen!!! She was SOOO small. I could not believe it. And that’s what I said, “Oh my gosh, she’s tiny.” Ahhh – that’s my daughter. They checked the time (Shauli?) and said she was born at 11:13. Then they whisked her away and off Shauli went to be with her. I was introduced to another nurse and that would be the baby nurse. Then they brought the baby back to me for another minute. Oh my gosh, I was in love. They held her up to me but all I could do was give her kisses. She looked very puzzled. Some more pics and off Shauli went with our daughter.

And that was that. I could not believe how quickly they got her out!! Then it was close-up time which Sharon said would take longer. But she also told me that the surgeon is the head of the department or something so I shouldn’t worry, he would do a good job. At some point she introduced him and he popped his head over. That was all I saw of him!! That was really about as much as I saw of anyone. Aside from Sharon and Udi. I remember someone had told me to ask about future kids. So Sharon asked him how it looked, how I healed from my previous sections, were there any lesions or whatever. Could I have more kids? She asked in English and he answered, “Surely. She can surely have more children.” Good to know I healed nicely. For the FUTURE.

It seemed to take forever for them to close me up and it was somewhat uncomfortable at times. One of the yuckiest parts was that at some point, I could hear the scissors. Snip snip snip. I think that was when Shauli was still there because I told him, I could hear them cutting me. Ohhhh, it was awful. It felt like they were really high up. And in my mental image of myself, I picture myself laying on the operating table with my entire abdomen and chest cut open. Because that’s how it feels. I feel them low and high, tugging and poking around in there. At some point I also knew they were cauterizing me. I can’t remember if I could hear it or smell it but I knew what they were doing. Ugh. I started feeling tired. SO tired. I just wanted it to be done. But I was scared. Scared for the pain. They seemed to be taking forever. And I missed Shauli. But I was lucky because Sharon was awesome. She told me what was going on when I needed to know that and just chatted with me when I needed that. She was just really chilled out and a very calming presence. She also had boys before a girl – 4 boys before a girl. A boy, a boy, and then triplets! Wow!

So eventually, they finished closing me up. Then here is a CRAZY random story! Just before they moved me back onto the stretcher, someone walked into the room and said in English, “Hey, your maiden name is Martinez?” and I said “yes…” thinking it was just someone who wanted to comment on my strange last name. Then he said, “And you grew up in St. Louis?” so then I was thinking ok, was it someone from my class? I said, “Yes..” And he said, “But you were born in Milwaukee?” Who IS this guy? “Yes…” He continues, "And I even know the street you lived on. It was umm.. Shepard Avenue. Your brother is Adrian! You moved when he was in like 3rd or 4th grade?” And I said, “Yah, that’s my brother. And I guess he was in 4th grade – I was in 1st – who ARE you??” He said his name is Chezky and that he was friend's with Adrian when they were younger. Then he asked if Adrian is living here and I said no, no, he’s in Seattle. I asked what his last name was and he said “Landy.” I said yah, that sounds familiar – how crazy!! When did he come to Israel? He said his family made Aliyah when he was in 6th grade. Then he came over and helped them move me onto the stretcher. And he said, “Well, send regards to Adrian. Tell him Chezky Landy says hi.” And off he went. SO random!!!

Then they strolled me out. They took me to a recovery room – across from the pre-op room. I asked how long I would be there. They said it would be about an hour. And I watched the clock. And watched and watched. They were waiting for me to be able to move my legs. I kept trying and trying. I just wanted to be with Shauli and my daughter. I missed them SO much. I hated being away from them. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t be with me. ARGH. People kept coming and going and randomly checking on me. But for the most part it was very lonely. It seemed so strange to me. I had just given birth to my daughter. Yet I was lying there alone. Desperately wanting to be with someone. I am used to being in the recovery room with my family – and certainly with my new baby. Even though I couldn’t hold her – I just wanted to be with family at that time.

Finally, they decided I could move my feet enough that I could head to a real room. They rolled me out and I heard a big cheer. Along with Shauli was Aviva and her sister, Aliza. Whee!!!! They came with me up in the elevator and to the room. And then they left.

Well, that is really it for the actual Birth Story. I have plenty to say about the 5 days following it and my experiences in the hospital. Maybe that will be for the next edition…………….

WELCOME TO THE WORLD, KAYLA RIVKA!!!!!!!

Kayla's Birth Story - Part 2

2009-02-15T19:29:00.001+02:00

Baby Day!!!
Woke up around 5am. Had to be at the hospital by 6am. We had rented a car for a few days so we didn’t have to worry about busses. We had packed the day before so pretty much just got up, dressed, Shu had breakfast, and off we went. Arrived at the hospital and Shu dropped me off to register while he went to park. There were 2 others there for scheduled C-sections also. No one gets appointment, we are just told to show up at 6am and then they choose who goes first. We were told I have a good chance of being first because it’s my 3rd and they want to get the baby out. Lucky me. I followed another couple and we attempted to find where we were supposed to go. We met up with Shu and found the right building, and the right floor. Then came a lot of waiting. Checking in and waiting, some paperwork and waiting. Had to get an IV thing put in and my blood drawn. I was there with Shauli, and we were playing Word Twist and on the computer. Another woman was there with her husband but he kept leaving. And a 3rd was there and she already had so much company! She arrived with one person – maybe her husband, then another lady came (mother?), then a few more people, and then a few more! They were all talking and laughing A LOT. Very busy people. We were finally called – close to 9am and a nice religious doctor – English speaker who we called “Ira” – took us to get an ultrasound and make sure the baby was still breech. We asked if he would be the one doing the surgery but he said he had to do clinic so he probably wouldn’t be back in time. Then back to the room and more waiting. They finally called me and I had to get prepped. I changed into a gown ,went to the bathroom, got the IV put in, and got onto a stretcher. A guy came who maybe was an orderly but seemed more than that. He was Russian and chatted with us for a bit. At one point, he asked how Shu and I met if Shu was Israeli and I was American. That was funny.

So, off we went to the pre-op room. There was another woman on a stretcher in there and then another woman sitting on a chair. Throughout the whole morning, I had been asking Shauli what he thinks is worse. The anticipation of the surgery or the actual surgery. He felt it was the anticipation. I wasn’t sure. At this point, I was getting really nervous but now that we started the process, I just wanted to get it over with. I still hadn’t met the surgeon and had no idea if the people who were going to be dealing with me would speak English. So far- they hadn’t really. But I also almost wished I had a big sign that said “English Speaker”. This way they would know why I am looking at them with a lost expression. I felt weird to preface every conversation with “Do you speak English?”. So there we were…waiting. Again. But I was all set and ready for the surgery.

A woman walked in and stood by my bed and I heard the most wonderful words come out of her mouth. She said “Hi, I’m Sharon. I’m your anesthesiologist.” In perfect English! I cannot explain the sigh of relief that came out of my mouth. And I said something like “Wow, that sounds good. An English speaker. Thank G-d.” Turns out, she is from Louisville and made Aliyah years ago when she decided to do medical school here. She was absolutely phenomenal. I cannot imagine what I would have done if she was not there to help us.

We talked about my previous c-sections and the pain management in each. What I liked and what I didn’t like. She told me straight off the bat that pain management here is lacking. But that she wants to do whatever she can to make the experience as good or better than my experiences in the states. Because Israel is always competing with the States. We discussed a few options for pain management and finally came up with a plan. She would put it in my chart and be available in case I was in any pain. She gave us her cell phone number and said to please call if I am in any pain. Then basically it was a matter of waiting until they were ready for us in the operating room. There was an older nurse there too who kept coming and talking to us. She was really nice too. Shauli got to put on some scrubs, and Sharon took a picture of us. I took one of Shauli too where he looks like a big scary surgeon.

Almost time......

Kayla's Birth Story - Part 1

2009-02-15T08:28:00.000+02:00

This whole pregnancy has been pretty crazy. What an experience! That is for sure.
To summarize, it was an easy pregnancy as far as the actual pregnancy was concerned. A bit of nausea in the beginning and some tiredness throughout. But no major complications, aside from one trip to the hospital . That was scary but it turned out to be okay. One of the biggest adjustments was switching to an Israeli OB. I was not impressed. Twice. With 2 different OB’s. I am used to the fantastic doctors at Women’s Health Consultants in Detroit. They were concerned about me, took their time to talk to me, delivered 2 of my babies, and I could call them anytime with any questions. Even once I moved to Israel, I called with a question for Dr. Schoenberger because I didn’t know who to call here!
So the pregnancy was definitely my easiest. My biggest issue was that I didn’t sleep well. I often spent a few hours in bed, then a few on the couch, then back to bed. I was in pain if I stayed in the same position for too long. For a few months, it was my lower back and towards the end, the pain was in my hips. Not so fun. I also got sick a lot. Not badly sick but I kept getting colds, sore throats and they would NOT go away. My immune system had a rough time.
But who had time for a difficult pregnancy? We had to apply for Aliyah, pack up our house and lift, get our house ready to be rented, move to Israel, adjust to life here….and just when we were getting settled in – have a baby!!!! G-d only gives us what we can handle. I could not have handled a difficult pregnancy.
They had scheduled me for another C-section because I had already had 2. Also, the baby was breech. So that made me feel better. I don’t like having C-sections and I always wonder, were they really necessary? So far, yes. And with a breech baby, yes.
We went in to the hospital on January 11th for a meeting with the surgeon and to register, etc. We met with a great surgeon (but who would not necessarily be our surgeon) and he explained the process to us. Then he got out his calendar and said, ok, let’s pick a date. He said, “Since this is your 3rd C-section, we like to deliver between 37-38 weeks. And tomorrow you will be 37 weeks so you can have the baby anytime between tomorrow and next Monday.” I looked at Shauli and said, “What? We are having our baby in a week?!? I thought we would have 2 weeks! If we have it Monday, we will miss Rachael’s wedding and (Shauli’s) Mom won’t be here yet – woah, that’s really soon.” I told the doctor that I know they like to do the surgery early so I don’t go into labor but that’s not really a problem with me. So do I really have to have it so early? He said not only do they not want me to go into labor but they don’t want me to have any contractions. That puts stress on the uterus and could cause uterine rupture. Well, we don’t want that. I wasn’t going to argue. So Monday, January 19th, it is.
The following week was spent anxiously getting ready for Baby Day. Cleaning up a bit, getting caught up with work, etc. I never got to the point of “Nesting” which was sad. Meant my house wasn’t quite as clean or organized as it could have been. But I think we were ready. As ready as we were going to be!! We arranged with Shev that she would come and stay with the boys for that first week. This way, Shu could come and go to the hospital and she could watch the boys. We had a nice day on Sunday. Boys went to school, Shu took Sammy to the ENT, Shev came around 5:00. Shu and I went to a meeting with the Mayor of Ariel. He wanted to meet with the Olim because he wants to bring a lot more North American Olim to Ariel. Then we went to Petach Tikvah and got dinner (Mmm Chinese food) and went to a movie. That seems to be our tradition. A pre-baby movie. We saw Madagascar 2. We had the entire theater to ourselves. It was a cute movie but seemed to be a little too much like The Lion King. But it was nice to spend a few hours of just the 2 of us. That will be it for awhile.
Baby Day!!!

In Search Of:

2009-02-04T16:16:00.002+02:00

I'm looking for copies of the newspaper (English and Hebrew, Detroit or Israeli) from Monday, January 19th.
Please let me know if you have one still around or know how to get one.
Thanks!!!

Tehillim Request

2009-01-25T08:28:00.002+02:00

Please take a moment to say Tehillim and daven for:

Shoshana Yehudis bas Bracha

This is my good friend's baby daughter who is in the hospital with RSV in the PICU.

May little Shany have a speedy Refuah Shelaima. We're thinking of you and your family.

Sleep Training......again?

2009-01-15T20:03:00.002+02:00

I'm sitting here in my computer room, trying not to make a sound. I've turned off the volume on my computer, in case someone Skypes me. I've turned off the ringer on my cell phone. And I am praying no one calls on either of the house phones (American or Israeli #'s).
And I am listening to Sammy cry. And cry and cry and cry. Bedtime has been really rough lately. It could be because of so many reasons - I don't know which one to blame?
There is the general one - his life has been turned upside down and he is still adjusting. But I feel like he should be past that. He seems happy with his daycare, he is picking up some Hebrew here and there. And he has slept normally at times. So it's not like this Bedtime H*ll has been a constant for 4 months. It's been up and down.
There is the Ear Infection excuse. But it doesn't seem to bother him at all. We only knew he had an ear infection because he has tubes so the nasty infection leaks out. He's been on oral antibiotics and ear drops since Sunday and was on some different ear drops starting the Thursday before too.
There is the fact that I am Mommy - and he just doesn't go to sleep nicely for me. I don't know why but he always seems to go to bed earlier and nicer when Shu puts them to bed. Personally, I dread bedtime. I can't handle listening to him cry and scream. And now that he has finally decided to acknowledge us as Mommy and Daddy - his pathetic cries out for Mommmmmy and Daddddddy break my heart.
He seemed like he would go to sleep nicely. We did the whole bedtime routine, just like every night. Teeth brushing, book reading, milk drinking, and Shma, Hamalach, and Esa Enai. He lay down at first for about 1 minute. Then sat up and started crying. And that is where we are at...
The pathetic sad sounding cries have now turned into squawks "MoMMy! MoMMy!"
I'm trying to do the whole cry it out thing but come ON! I've already gone through this with him. When he was just a few months old and that's how we taught him to sleep. And he did a good job with him. We were so relieved to have a decent sleeper........after all, we had learned our lesson with Jonah. :)
And now I have to sleep train Sammy again???? Just when I am expecting another baby?? I can't imagine how Sammy will ever sleep once we have a newborn home. That's really going to throw him off.

Anyway - just thought I would post that complaint/concern out there.

Anyone with any advice? It is VERY VERY welcome!!!!
For those who don't know - Sammy and Baby will be about 21 months apart.

THANKS and wish me luck!

To Buy or Not To Buy

2009-01-06T20:48:00.002+02:00

I'm trying to decide if I should get these shirts or not.
It's really hard to buy clothes online but these are such a great deal!!

FunkyFrum - Classic Longsleeve Tee

I plan on wearing them as "layered" shirts (and obviously post-pregnancy). Hmmmmm.........

Also, I figured I would pass along the link to my friends! Maybe they want to buy some too. :)

Moving Sale

2009-01-06T09:39:00.002+02:00

Our dear friends and neighbors in Detroit are moving and need to sell a lot of their stuff. They posted this on MI Shuls, etc but I figured I would post it on my blog too to try and help them out.
Please pass this along to anyone else who may be able to benefit.
They take good care of their things and the prices look really reasonable.
Here is their post:

Well, we're moving, and we need to sell a lot of stuff - quickly! Furniture, appliances, and other random items - in great quality and in good shape. Click here for pictures and prices ( http://picasaweb.google.com/yishaiyosef/GreatStuffForSale ) . Please e-mail us if you're interested in anything (yishaiyosef@gmail.com), or call us at home. More stuff will be posted soon, so stay tuned! If you can think of anyone who might like any of our items, please forward this e-mail on to them. Thanks!

Yishai and Bellischa Mendelsohn

(Send me an e-mail if you would like their phone number).
THANKS!!!

Prayer for the Welfare of Soldiers in the Israel Defense Forces

2009-01-04T12:49:00.004+02:00

Prayer for the Welfare of Soldiers in the Israel Defense Forces

May He who blessed our fathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, bless the soldiers
of the Israel Defense Forces who keep guard over our country and cities of
our Lord from the border with Lebanon to the Egyptian desert and from the
Mediterranean Sea to the approach to the Arava, be they on land, air or sea.

May the Almighty deliver us our enemies who arise against us, may the Holy
One, blessed be He, preserve them and save them from all sorrow and peril,
from danger and ill.

May He send blessing and success in all their endeavors, may He deliver to
them those who hate us and crown them with salvation and victory, so that
the saying may be fulfilled through them, "For the Lord, your God, who walks
with you and to fight your enemies for you and to save you", and let us say,
Amen.

I Believe

2009-01-02T12:06:00.004+02:00

The rocket range has now been extended to 60km. No rockets have hit that far yet but Israeli intelligence believe they are able to. That adds in a whole bunch more cities - a whole lot more family and friends are now possibly in range. The war is coming closer.

But we sort of joke with our friends about it. And say that now we are the ones on the "safe" side of the Green Line. So many people did and still do ask us "Isn't it dangerous where you live? You live over the Green Line!! You have Arab towns all around you. Aren't you nervous?" Some people don't want to come visit us because of how "far in" it looks on the map. When really, we are only about 10-15 minutes from the Green Line.

Personally, I feel we are in one of the safest parts of the country right now. We're Bli Iyin Hora, out of rocket range. Even if we were in rocket range, we are surrounded by Arabs and since they don't aim those rockets well, I imagine they may not want to risk taking out their own people. Although Hamas doesn't seem to be too bothered by using children as human shields, not sure if they would really be bothered by killing a few of their own.

We live in a city that has a security fence around it and has a security gate to get in. There are soldiers 24 hours a day watching who drives into our city. History has shown, Bli Iyin Hora again, that we haven't had many security problems or problems with our Arab neighbors.
And since we don't have a car, we won't be driving down the 60 or going anywhere where we feel at risk. We even did the responsible thing last week and did NOT drive down the 60 or go to the Old City of Jerusalem the day after the bombing in Gaza started. We're watching out. We're being as careful as one can be here.

People have always asked when told about my time spent in Israel or told about my plans to move there - aren't you scared? Isn't it dangerous? Again, when we moved to the Shomron, we were asked, aren't you crazy? Why would you move there? Is it safe?

Bottom line - and I believe this about everything in my life. It has been proven again and again. G-d is in charge. G-d ultimately decides what will happen. Granted, I wouldn't go dancing in the streets of Ramallah. But we moved here because we believed it was the right choice. We felt that it was the best place for our family , for our children. And we know that we are doing the right thing. As hard as it is at times. As much as we miss our dear friends and family that we left behind. We are confident in our decision and have moved a step up in our lives. We made Aliyah.

I have faith that Hashem will keep us safe. I pray that He keeps us safe. That He keeps our friends and family safe. I know that He is the mastermind of it all. He has a Plan. Yes, I sometimes question that plan. And I have a list that of things I will ask about after 120 years. :)
But ultimately He is in charge. He is in charge of where the rockets land and of where car accidents happen. My brother in law mentioned that there are probably more car accidents with injuries on Highway 2 than there will be people injured by rocks thrown on the 60. We didn't stop driving (when we had our Chanukah Car). Just like people are way more likely to be killed in a car crash anywhere than in an airplane crash. Yet so many people are way more afraid to fly than they are to drive.

G-d's in charge. We have to remember that and we have to believe in Him. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

May we have a quiet, peaceful Shabbat and Hashem should continue to watch over us all.

War Dreams

2009-01-01T08:03:00.003+02:00

Well, I had my first War Dream in Israel.
As far as war dreams go, this was tame. There must be a part of my subconscious that is scared. Scared for the people who are already affected by this war. Scared because, as I wrote in my last post, these rockets are hitting places which I always considered safe. Especially for the year that I lived there!! Beer Sheva and Ashdod. We were always "safe" in those cities. During the 2001 Intifada.
I talked to my Mom for a loooong time last night. And reassured her that we are safe. Ariel is far away from rockets. And there are probably too many Arabs around us for them to want to launch rockets at us anyway. :) We're the ones who feel like we are on the "safe" side of the Green Line now. People that are leaving Sderot are coming to Ariel.
I've been doing some reading of people's blogs and watching videos of what happens when a "Code Red" siren is sounded. I read on the Homefront Security webpage about how close people have to be to a shelter in case a siren sounds.

Residents of towns adjacent to the frontier, including the city of Sderot, are instructed to remain continually indoors, within immediate reach of protected spaces.
Residents of towns located within the 10 km. radius are instructed to remain in places that allow access to protected spaces within 15 seconds.
Residents of towns located within 10 to 20 km. radius, including Ashkelon, Netivot and the surrounding areas, are instructed to take cover in protected spaces within 30 seconds of hearing an alert siren or a blast.
Residents of towns located within 20 to 30 km. radius, including Ashdod, Kiryat-Gat, Kiryat-Malachi, Ofakim, Rahat and the surrounding areas, are instructed to take cover in protected spaces within 45 seconds.
Residents of towns located within 30 to 40 km. radius, including Beer-Sheba, Yavneh and Gadera, are instructed to take cover in protected spaces within 60 seconds of hearing an alert siren or a blast.

Schools and kindergartens are closed in these towns, except those operated inside bomb shelters. Public gatherings are generally prohibited. Only shopping centers located in hardened structures are opened. People should refrain from loitering outdoors and try to stay indoors and within reach of protected spaces, as much as possible.

Once again, for my family and friends outside of Israel that may not be aware. These are all instructions to people in the South. People in cities that are currently being hit by rockets or within rocket range. The threat is very very real. People have to continue day to day living but what a weight they have on their shoulders.
I reassured my Mom that we do have a sealed room in our apartment and the nearest public bomb shelter is literally across and down the street from us. I would say within a 15 second range. But please G-d, we should never ever ever see the inside of it. Maybe that's what sparked the dream. The thought of hearing a siren and having to get the kids down the stairs and run down the street to the bomb shelter with them. Getting inside and waiting until the rocket hits. It totally freaks me out. And people ARE living like this right now. The people of Sderot have been living like this for 8 years!!!!!! There are kids whose entire lives have been spent running from rockets.
Where was the outcry then? Where was the world sympathy then?? Are people only sympathetic to the residents of Gaza?? Many of which are Hamas terrorists???
Ok, I'm not going to go down that road right now.
Not sure the point of this post. Maybe just to get my thoughts out. I was surprised I had a war dream. Didn't realize that I actually was scared. For the safety of my family, my unborn child, myself. And feeling so helpless for the people down south that are living what I fear.
We have offered to a couple of the people that we know down there to feel free to come to us. Spend a Shabbat with us. If they just want to get away, we are happy to have them. But for the most part, they are staying put. They believe that is where they belong. That is where there homes are. They aren't going to run. They aren't going to let the terrorists win. I'm proud of them. I'm impressed by them. And I pray for them.

Pray for them. Pray for the soldiers - who are kids. 18 year old kids doing their jobs. Protecting their country - our country. Putting their lives on the line. Everyday.

May we merit Moshiach coming soon, and peace for everyone!! May we have a quiet and peaceful 2009. Only simchas and brachot for us all!!

Close to Home

2008-12-31T10:24:00.003+02:00

I can't believe that rockets are hitting Ashdod and Beer Sheva. That's close to home. Well, close to what was once home.

Don't worry - friends and family in Chutz La'Aretz - it's "far" away from Ariel. Check out the following map if you want to see locations of where the rockets have hit. Although I don't know how often it is updated:
Current Events Map in the Middle East
** It says on the map "Blue is where I live". But that is referring to the person who made the map. I live in Ariel. You can see it on the northern part of the map. Just East of Petach Tikvah.

But I spent a year in Beer Sheva in 2001. I studied in University there. And that was a bad time - terrorism wise. That was in the middle of the Intifada. I was constantly in touch with family and friends in the States. Constantly reassuring them that I was safe. I was far away from Jerusalem and Gaza and Tel Aviv. I was far away from rocket launches. And far away from terrorist attacks. And there were so many Beduins, Arabs, that lived in and near Beer Sheva, so we wouldn't get attacked. It was a quiet, calm, desert town.

There was one situation while I was there - I believe it was a shooting. But actually at the time, I was "safe" in Ashdod. Volunteering for Magen David Adom. Learning what to do in the case of a mass casualty. We trained for it but never thought there would be an issue in Ashdod either. I spent a few months in Ashdod during my University break. And we constantly went back and forth between Ashdod and Ashkelon, because that was the nearest hospital. But we took old, sick people. An occasional car crash or suicide. Women in labor. Children with high fevers.
Not terrorist victims. Not injuries from rocket launches.

I just can't believe they are hitting Ashkelon and Ashdod and Beer Sheva. I think of my friends there. And the families that live there. Thank G-d, schools there were closed today. Because the rocket hit a kindergarten!!!!

WHEN WILL IT END??????? WHAT IS THE SOLUTION????

I am thinking of all those down south. I pray that Hashem will keep you safe and there will be an end to the attacks soon.

Tuna Macaroni Salad

2008-12-25T21:47:00.002+02:00

Here's another recipe from my Mom. It makes a lot and people gobble it up!!! I use the Hellman's Regular Mayo not the Lite or Low Fat or any of that.

Ingredients:

3 c. macaroni, cooked and drained
7 oz. can tuna, drained and flaked
3-4 hard boiled eggs, chopped
1/2 c. celery slices
1/3 c. green onion, sliced
1/4. c sweet pickle relish
1 T. mustard
1 t. salt
1 1/4 c. mayo.

Combine macaroni, tuna, eggs, celery, green onion, relish, mustard, salt, and mayo.
Mix lightly.
Chill 3-4 hours.

Eat and Enjoy!!!

Macaroni and Cheese Casserole Recipe

2008-12-25T21:24:00.003+02:00

This is my mom's recipe and is a delicious and easy recipe for mac and cheese casserole. It can also be made in advance and frozen.
This recipe makes a smaller portion but you can double it for larger crowds. :)

Ingredients:

1 c. macaroni (dry)
1 c. bread crumbs
1 1/2 c. scalded milk
1/4 c. butter
3 eggs, beaten
2 c. grated cheddar cheese
1 T minced onion
1 t. salt
1/2 t. paprika

Directions:

Cook macaroni.
While cooking macaroni, scald milk, then add butter. Once butter is melted, add bread crumbs and let sit 5 min.
Combine eggs, cheese, onion, salt, and paprika.
Add macaroni after it's cooked.
Add bread crumb mixture to macaroni mixture.
Turn into greased 2 qt. casserole.
Bake uncovered 30 min at 350 degrees.

B'tayavon!!!

Doctor vs. Doctor

2008-12-09T09:15:00.002+02:00

I may have mentioned previously that I am unimpressed with the OB's here in Israel. I don't have a LOT of experience but I have been to 2 here. The first was in Ariel and he was a bit odd. I had been told that the 2 docs in Ariel in my health clinic were just not great. And been advised to go elsewhere. So I chose a doctor in Petach Tikvah based on a recommendation from someone who had a baby 3 weeks prior. I don't really know her well but hey, she just had a baby so the memory is fresh! I did not factor in that she is Israeli and is used to how things are done and patients are treated.
I'm not.
And I miss my doctor's from Detroit. A LOT!!!

I am not worried about the medical care here. I think the doctors are trained just as well and know what they are doing. The most important thing is the health of the baby and the mother, as it should be. And they make sure everyone is healthy.
But beyond that, it seems they just don't care. Like anywhere else, you will have better and worse ones in terms of bedside manner. But things here are just so much less personal. WAY less personal. At least in my small experiance so far. And I am assuming that if I had paid a lot of money and gone to a private doctor, I would get more personal care. Maybe the doctors in the health clinics just have too many patients and don't want to get too involved. But I am not talking about having my doctor over for a cup of tea. I just want a little concern....a little interest. Pregnancy is HARD! I feel like she should ask how I am feeling. Not just have me come in her office, do the ultrasound and say goodbye.
One of the strange things to me is that the doctor you see throughout your whole pregnancy is not the one who will deliver you or even be anywhere near you when it's time for the baby to come. Her job is done. (Although maybe she does a post-natal check-up?) You see the doc every 6 weeks (and I am not sure how often at the end of pregnancy) and then you register at the hospital where you want to deliver. When you go into labor, you head to that hospital and the midwife does your delivery. Or in my case, I have to schedule a C-section so I sign up, go in, and whoever is working, does my c-section. I will have NEVER met this person, have no idea how well they speak English, and have no comfort level with this doctor who is about to preform surgery on me and deliver my 3rd child. WEIRD!
I hate it.

I don't like my doctor. I have only met her once but I don't like her. And I think I realized why last night. Aside from having a strange visit with her (because of the lack of personal care and concern), she is impossible to reach. That's annoying. If I have questions, I feel like I don't have anyone to call. The nurses on the Maccabi medical line seemed more concerned when I called them in the middle of the night than the doctor herself.
Here's the story.
A couple weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night and was having an issue. Unsure of what to do and no idea who to call, I first called my American doctors. Not that they could do anything but just so I would know whether I have to be concerned and need to go to the ER or if I could wait and see a doctor in the morning. They were already closed so I called the 700 number for Maccabi and told them I am having a problem and have no idea if/how to reach my doctor to ask her and am not sure what to do. They transferred me to their 24 hour nurses line. I spoke to the nurse and explained the problem and she told me that I need to go to the hospital to get checked out. I could take a taxi because it wasn't a huge emergency but I need to take care of it and can't wait until morning.
Well, apparently it is very difficult to get a taxi in the middle of the night in Ariel. After more than an hour of trying to reach one, and with the help of the nurse at the 24 hour line, we ended up taking an ambulance.
Long story short, we spent about 10 hours at the hospital and thank G-d, the baby was ok and I was ok. They were a little concerned about preterm labor but sent me home because there were no other indications of labor, told me to contact my doctor because maybe she would want to check me out, and told me to REST.
I called my doctor's office and spoke to the receptionist who told me to fax over the paperwork from the hospital, she would give it to the doctor, and the doc would call me. A friend of ours faxed over the paperwork but I didn't hear anything from them. A few days later I had to go into a different Maccabi office for an ultrasound and had forgotten the referral so I had to call the doc to get that faxed over to us. I asked if she had received my fax and she told me no. So we had our friend fax it over again. Still didn't hear from her. The next time I called, there was a message saying the doctor was on vacation and would be back next week (on a Tuesday). I waited till the Tuesday but there was no answer when I called. So I called back on Wednesday. But the doctor doesn't work on Wednesday. So I tried again on Thursday. Spoke to the receptionist again who said she didn't see the fax anywhere but if the hospital said I am fine, then I will just get checked by the doctor the next time I came in. Coincidently, I had an appointment the following week so she said just bring the paperwork from the hospital then and show it to the doc. But at this point it didn't really matter because it had already been a few weeks since the incident.

Ya know what I don't like? Where the heck is my doctor?????? I feel like if this had happened in the States and I called my doctor's office and told them I had been in the hospital, they would not only call me to check on me and talk to me but they would also want me to come in so THEY could check me out.
I don't understand how my doctor can hear that one of her patients was in the hospital and not show any concern. What IS that about??
I'm kind of glad that she won't be delivering my baby.

So, that's my complaint. :) I'll let you know how things go on Wednesday. Wish me luck!

And then it hit me.....

2008-12-06T20:43:00.003+02:00

Sammy was sick the other day and I posted as my Facebook status something about "Natalie is home with a sick baby." I almost wrote "Natalie's baby is sick" but I didn't want to give people the wrong idea that G-d forbid something was wrong with the fetus baby.
Because at the moment, I kind of have 2 babies. Sammy and fetus. Or in Hebrew, Ubar (I think that's a funny word).

I had the craaaazy realization that 2 months from now (Bshaa Tova) when I write something about my "baby", I will be referring to a whole new being and member of the Zacks Tribe.

WOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I won! I won!

2008-12-03T21:08:00.002+02:00

I vaguely remember getting a credit card statement last year and one of the little ads that they included was for an Instant Win game online. For some reason, I decided to enter and I ended up winning! Or so it claimed. Something about I won a few tickets to a Soundstage concert - one to keep and one to give away. And a $500 gift card. One to keep and one to give away. The promotion was called "A Season of Giving" for the Holiday Season.

So that was exciting. But of course, I was wary of it. Did I REALLY win? I filled out some paperwork and then didn't hear from them again for about 6 months. Out of the blue I get an e-mail regarding the SoundStage tickets and how to claim them. I also get an e-mail about having to choose someone to give the 2nd $500 gift card. So I write them back and ask if I could give it to my spouse. Turns out - I can!! Woohoo!!

So I had some more paperwork to fill out and then they said I would get my gift cards. Another few months went by and then we moved to Israel.
Then I get an e-mail saying the gift cards had been Fed-Ex'd.

Long story short (ok, so it was still long) the gift cards finally made their way to us in Israel. We now have 2 $500 gift cards that must be redeemed by March 2009.

What should we buy??????

Should we be boring and responsible and just use them for groceries, heaters, household items? Should we get something more fun and rent a car for another few weeks - maybe over Chanukah? Should we save them and get something for the baby?

Or should we get something just plain FUN! And if so - what?????
All thoughts and opinions are appreciated!!

Out of the mouths of babes

2008-11-24T19:34:00.003+02:00

Here are just some random comments that my kids have said in the past few days....

Jonah: Mommy, when are we going to forget our English?

*********
Me to Shu on the phone: Well, I'm on the bus but I am literally on the bottom step next to the door.
Shu: Just tell them you're pregnant and they should let you sit down.
Me: Even if I could say something, there isn't room to get to the seats.
Jonah in background: Tell Mommy to say "Yaish Lee Tenoket Babeten" and to let you sit down.
Me: Thanks Jonah for translating that. :)

*********
Jonah: What is today called, tomorrow?
Me: Yesterday?
Jonah: Oh yah, yesterday. Well tomorrow I will tell Daddy that yesterday you read me 6 books!

(Doesn't seem like he is forgetting his English anytime soon)
****************************

As far as Sammy goes, well he says words in English but I think he has picked 2 Hebrew words up at Gan. The first is "DIE". Keep in mind, this is NOT English. In Hebrew "Die" means "Stop". He may have learned that one from his brother. And the second one which I noticed this evening after giving him some cheese, he asked for "Od" which means "More". YAY!!!

Out of touch

2008-11-10T08:03:00.002+02:00

I spoke with my grandmother briefly yesterday who informed me that my aunt (who lives in Israel) told her that no one hears from me. This didn't surprise me and in fact, I had even told Shauli that I bet my aunt was telling my grandmother that I don't call. That's how it was all the other times I have been here.
Well, this time I asked my grandmother - has my aunt called me? No......
I am the one who just made Aliyah, pregnant, with my husband and 2 young children. She has been here for something like 25 years or more.
I am the one trying to deal with the medical system (both for myself and for Sammy who has constantly been sick since we arrived), the educational and childcare system, a foreign language (yes, I can have a simple conversation in Hebrew but ask me to read and understand forms, bills, and Jonah's letters from Gan - forget it!). We've been the ones without all our stuff for the past 2 months, attempting to live normally. Now that our stuff has arrived, we are trying to put our apartment into some kind of order. Kudos to Shu for that one because I don't know that I have unpacked a single box - aside from kid's clothes!
So, I want to know - how come she hasn't called to ask ME how I am doing???
The truth is, I don't expect much different. I will definitely call when I have a chance and hope to visit her and my cousins (who I haven't spoken to yet). When I see them we get along fine. But I feel like I am always the one who makes the effort.

Even though I sound bitter about it, I do feel badly. I feel badly that I just don't have the time to make phone calls. I feel like I am not only neglecting that family that is here but I haven't been well enough in touch with my family and FRIENDS back in the States. And I was the one who reassured them that sure, I'll have an American number, we can talk all the time. We just have to make the effort. Even if we don't have time for a loooong phone conversation, we just have to call and say Hey. But I haven't fulfilled my end of the bargain.

However, yesterday was an example of why I really did not even have a minute to sit down and make a simple phone call.

After being up constantly through the night because of a bad cough, and waking up a bunch of times with Jonah, because of his bad cough, I finally was woken for good by my kids shortly after 6am. Yesterday was a little different because Jonah ended up staying at home but normally, they wake me between 6 and 7am and we get up, play, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get ready for school. Then Shu and I each walk a kid to their respective schools (or sometimes Shu takes both). That's by about 8am or so. I get back, drink a Shoko in a bag for breakfast and settle in for a long day of work. I work from about 8:30am - 4:30pm, give or take an hour. Sammy comes home at 4pm and proceeds to cling to me and cry. Then I attempt to make dinner (with Sammy clinging to me) and often give up and Shu either takes over the kid or the dinner. After dinner, I either head off to Ulpan (until 9pm) or am at home getting the kids ready for bed and attempting to put them to sleep. I say attempting because while Jonah has been pretty good about going to sleep (after books and songs), Sammy has stopped going to sleep. I mean it. He just doesn't go to sleep anymore. And he's our good sleeper!!!
Last night, we thought he was out for the night at a normal hour. So I attempted to make a phone call. I left a message on a friend's machine and then called Grandma. She has a packed schedule so it's hard to reach her but I guess it was early enough in the morning that I caught her at home. We spoke long enough for her to tell me about my aunt and then Sammy started screaming. So we wrapped up that conversation and Sammy was awake until close to midnight.

So much for phone calls.

So, for all you dear and loved ones out there, I know I haven't called. Or certainly haven't called enough. But at the moment, it's just because I literally don't even have 2 minutes to sit down and breathe. it's not cuz I don't think about you and miss you and wish you were here! I look forward to hopefully the near future when Shu has a job (so I don't feel the pressure of the only income) and Sammy is adjusted and our house is somewhat in order.

Aside from that, all is well and good here. :)
By the way, if you don't have our number - drop me a line and I will send it to you!!! Then you can call me and say sit down, let's chat. :)

All the best and all my love from the Holy Land. I'll try to post pics soon! But you may want to check Shu's Facebook for that. He's better about it.....

Complaint to Omega

2008-11-05T09:31:00.002+02:00

What do you think of this letter?

Dear Alon,

I am writing this letter to inform you of my complete and total dissatisfaction and disappointment in your service and your company. I do not ever remember dealing with a company who is handling such an important service for us, who claim to be professionals, and whose total incompetence was clear every step of the way.

When we first began dealing with you, we made constant attempts to reach either you or Tali or anyone that could assist us and failed. You did not call back, you did not e-mail back with answers to our questions, and the very few times we were able to reach you, you always had to "check on the matter" or "look into it" and get back to us. Never happened. Tali even told us that you don't check phone messages so don't bother leaving them. I remember after we paid our 25% deposit, debating canceling with your company because you were so completely unprofessional. Looking back, we should have taken the loss and switched to another company.

I imagine that someone in your position has learned something about Customer Service, despite that it's not clear in the way you handle matters. Perhaps you should go back to business school and take some of these courses. You may have heard the saying that a happy customer tells 1 friend, but an unhappy customer tells 10 friends. Experts have researched that and agree. However, these days the Internet has changed all that. Now, the unhappy customer can post intimate details about their bad experiences on blogs and message boards that reach millions of people everyday and can live on forever. I, for one, plan on not only telling at the very least 10 people, but also posting on a variety of Internet sites, Yahoo groups, Facebook groups, wherever I can reach anyone who is planning on making Aliyah. You may be aware that Olim Chadashim do a lot of networking, a lot of sharing experiances, and a lot of talking. And while yes, people want to know that someone had a good experience with a company they won't necessarily believe the good things written on the web or certainly not the "Testimonials" on your website. Those can easily be made up and "good" experiences easily posted by someone working in or for the company. But let me tell you, everyone believes the bad experiences. Why shouldn't they?

As far as Customer Service goes, I have worked in this area for a number of years and dealt with my fair share of unhappy customers. I worked in retail and people always find something to complain about. I found an important article that you should take a minute to read and try to absorb what it says:
http://www.allbusiness.com/company-activities-management/company-structures-ownership/11599156-1.html

Seeing as you don't want to take any blame for the way our case was handled, I imagine you ignored that article. But I will reiterate a few points made. The article says that sometimes it's difficult to maintain your composure when a customer is angry. But let them vent and don't interrupt. Listen carefully and with empathy. Try to rephrase the problem for clarity and ask for confirmation from the customer. Then, look for a resolution.
When my husband spoke to you last week, he was frustrated. He was tired of no one informing us of what was going on with our lift, or where it was, when it was coming, and even how do we get it??? When he spoke to you, you only seemed to be making it harder and harder for us to get our lift, as opposed to finding a solution. Yes, he lost his temper but it was not unjustified.
When I called back to ask a separate question, I was appalled at how you spoke to me!!! You spent the entire phone call ranting and raving about how angry you were that my husband spoke to you that way and how now you really didn't want to help us get our lift because of that. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. If you are upset about the way an unhappy customer talks to you, take it home with you and complain to your own wife, not to the customer's wife. I was calling so I could attempt to resolve the problem not so I could hear that your feelings were hurt. And certainly not to hear that "now you really don't want to help us". Once again, a sign of the unprofessional way that you dealt with us.

I know my husband already sent you a letter expressing his complaints. But to reiterate, our complaints are as follows:

1. It is almost impossible to reach you and has been from the beginning. You rarely answer your phone calls, don't respond to phone messages, and may occasionally "reply" to our e-mails but not with answers to the questions we asked.

2. Your failure to communicate with us. You work in a field dealing with people moving across the world. Most people have never done this before and therefore are unaware of the process. Not only that but they are in the middle of uprooting their lives, their families, and leaving everything that is familiar to them. YOU are the professional here. You are the one who knows how it all works. And you should be aware and sensitive to that. If you really do put customers first and you work around the clock, as quoted from your e-mail, then I imagine we would have been dealt with very differently. We were only aware of what was happening with our lift because of our constant phone calls to VASM here in Israel. Every time we called, it seemed another problem or delay arose.

3. Our shipping delay. As far as we are concerned, the last we heard from Tali was on September 9th which said she was attaching our shipment information - with nothing attached. I do not blame you for the strike here or for the "400 files that customs had to clear". What I do not understand is why didn't our container leave America until 6 weeks after the scheduled shipping date? How could you possibly not keep us informed of the status of our container? You should let us know when it leaves, when it is expected to arrive, let us know that it is delayed, and certainly let us know once it has arrived!!! How else are we supposed to know? This is YOUR job!

4. We were certainly aware of our open balance and had no problem paying it. You may have noticed that once we finally got in touch with you we wanted to pay immediately and the fastest way possible. All we asked for was our current balance which you had failed to provide for us until that point. I don't understand why you make it so hard to pay you ?!?! I would think you want your money and if you see an open balance, you would contact the customer to inform them. We didn't even know where our lift was, let alone when we were to receive it. If you place a hold on someone's lift, you should inform the customer of that hold. All it takes is a simple phone call or e-mail stating, your lift is on hold until you pay your balance of X amount. I was not withholding money from you. But for such a large balance, I have to withdraw from other funds and I prefer to do that at one time for the correct amount.

5. Regarding our payment, I would like my $152 returned to me for your "Credit Card Authorization fee". We requested of Liat, the accountant who one would think would be familiar with such a charge, to send us your policy on credit card payments. She seemed to be unfamiliar with this and said you would send us that policy. We are still waiting . Alon, please send that to me. We paid the first payment on credit card and that did not seem to be a problem at all. When we wanted to pay our balance, you told us about this 3% charge all of a sudden. I did some research into whether that was allowed or not and it seems that charging a 3% credit card transaction fee violates your merchant agreement. I would like my money refunded to me. And I plan on lodging a complaint against your company for this bogus charge.

6. When our lift finally arrived here in Ariel and they opened the doors, I was shocked to see 10-15 meters (according to the moving company) of unused space. Empty space that I paid for. Your initial assessment at our house claimed that we would need a 20 ft lift with all our belongings. Not only was that wrong, we brought presents and items for other people on our lift. Our total amount of things maybe would have taken half of a 20 foot lift. And since we had extra space, we would have sent some items that we were told "won't fit because our lift is completely full." We would have sent beds, our dining room table, and other items we left behind in Detroit. I cannot begin to express how furious I am regarding that. We paid thousands and thousands of dollars for that space and your screw-ups had us paying for empty space. Alon, this is unacceptable!

Once again, I am completely disappointed in Omega Shipping and especially in you, Alon Aviani. I am certain you will lose many potential customers because of your incompetence and unprofessional actions.

Natalie Zacks

Processing

2008-11-02T20:22:00.003+02:00

I think I titled this post "Processing" because as much as this blog is a way to inform friends and family about what's going on with us - it also helps me sort things out in my head.
What I'm thinking, feeling, what's going on. I wish I were able to just send my thoughts to the blog as I am walking somewhere or for example, tonight as I was driving home from Petach Tikvah. Thinking thoughts. :) I'll try to convey them now.

Well, one thing that I have started feeling more and more is that I really love it here in Ariel and I hope that things work out and we stay. What does that mean you wonder? If you love it, then stay. But it's not so easy. For one thing, my family has to be happy here. And for another, there are a few things that we really hope will happen in order for us to really want to stay.
We need a few more Anglo's. Young couples, maybe a couple kids, people in the same stage as we are. And most important - people that will live in our area! There were quite a few Olim Chadashim to Ariel this summer and some that already live here. And whether they are in the same stage in life as us or not isn't as much of the issue. The problem is that we Anglo's are being spread all over Ariel. Not that the place is huge. But there are in fact, 3 neighborhoods and if your kids don't go to the same Gan or we don't go to the same shul, we don't see each other. And the fact that we don't see each makes it feel like we are much more spread apart.
Now, I am not quite in agreement with Shauli who wants an Anglo ghetto. Or says he does. But I wouldn't mind just a few more Anglo's in a similar position as we are, that live closer to us.

I think that's probably the biggest issue. There are other things that we wouldn't mind being different but I think we will get that in any city.
As far as the positives, there are many. The community and people here are FAN-TASTIC. They have been so generous and helpful and we have made a lot of Israeli friends as well as making friends with the Anglo's. I love the feeling of Ariel. That we live on a mountain and are 2 minutes from a beautiful overlook. In fact, I have part of that view just sitting here at my desk, looking out the window.
I love that this is a big enough city that we have a couple bigger grocery stores (not just Makolets) and a City Center and not everyone knows your business. But not so big that I feel lost. I love that it is a 5 minute walk from Jonah's Gan and a 12 minute walk from Sammy's daycare. Which is right across from our Kupat Cholim (health care clinic). It's a 7 minute walk to Shul and if we want to make the BIG trek to town, that's about 25 minutes.
I love that I feel safe and secure in this city and that we have guards at the gate and a security fence. That they are keeping an eye on everyone that enters the city. But I love that I can leave the city and see people riding donkeys to go harvest their olive trees. I don't know why but I get SUCH a kick out of that! Donkeys, strolling down the highway.
I love that we are not too far from the other major cities. Half hour to Jerusalem (but then factor in a half hour of traffic and getting lost IN Jerusalem), 20 minutes to Petach Tikvah, 45 minutes to Modiin, 45 minutes to Netanya, 2 hours from Maalot. We're right in the middle. Granted, I may change the way I feel once we return our rental car. :)

As far as adjusting.....the adjustment is HUGE!!!!! It's not easy. I won't lie. And interestingly enough, I would say Jonah is adjusting the best. By far!! He's amazing. He had a really rough few weeks in the beginning. Probably about the first 3 weeks. And that was hard to deal with. It made me keep wondering, OMG, what did we do? But now - he's doing great! He never fails to impress me. He's making friends right and left. He already has his close buddies, his English (and Hebrew) speaking friends - Leah and Gili Shira. And his Hebrew speaking friends (NO English at all), Shachar, Yedidya, and Mevaseret. And possibly, Elimelech Avraham. I say possibly because Jonah talks about him a lot but I have never actually seen them play together. Jonah has gotten so much more comfortable with his Gan, with the language, with his friends - he has become so much more confident! A couple weeks ago, I wanted to write him a Mitzvah note to put on the Mitzvah Rimon (pomegranate). But he insisted that we don't write it. English, Hebrew, nothing. When I dropped him off, I mentioned it to his teacher and she said he was probably embarresed. Because when the kids bring in mitzvah notes, the teacher makes a BIG deal and calls them up to the front of the class and talks about what they did. Well, this Shabbat (Shabbas) Jonah was really making an effort to make Brachot on the foods he ate. Apparently , the Gan Rabbi (Harav Dadi) told them it's very important to make a lot of Brachot. It was very impressive so I asked if he wanted a mitzvah note (expecting a big NO WAY). He quickly agreed but did inform me that I would have to write it in Hebrew. AND that it would need to take up the entire page that I was writing on. :) He comes home everyday with a new Hebrew word or Hebrew song. And he adores the Gan Rabbi and never wants to be late and possibly miss "HaRav".

Sammy is having a little bit of a harder time. He finally attended his first full week of daycare last week. He cries when we get there and he cries when we pick him up. But they claim he does well during the day. They say he eats nicely, sleeps nicely, plays nicely. I was so happy when I went to pick him up today. He came to me with a biiiiig smile on his face. Instead of bursting into tears! I was so happy, I figured he must have had such a great day and he was finally getting used to being there. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and the teacher promptly informed me that today he was biting kids ALLLLLL day long! Oh NOOOOOO! They mentioned this a different day and asked me to make sure to talk about it with him at home. But he doesn't do it at home. He pinches, if anything. But he doesn't generally bite! So how I am supposed to have a heart to heart with an 18 month old? The teachers tell me it's his age and it's because he's frustrated that he doesn't understand (they speak NO English). But I'm worried they are going to kick him out!
On the medical side of things, we took him back to the doc who declared him healthy except for the month and a half of diarrhea. His stool culture came back negative (I think) and he doesn't have a parasite. I bought a powdered Pro-Biotic and that actually got him back to normal within about a day of starting him on it. But when we skipped a day, it came back!! We see the doc tomorrow for a "Well-Baby" check up. And we'll see what he says.

Shu is doing ok. You should probably read his blog for more info on that. He's still job hunting and starting to actually get bored of sitting home all day with nothing to do. I am not sure if I should be happy for our lift to come because it will give him something to do or if I should be worried that he may be playing X-box all day instead of unpacking to keep himself busy.

I'm doing ok also. I am feeling more pregnant everyday and I think the easy part of pregnancy is over for me. I got a reprieve so I could function and make the BIG move. And now I am feeling it. Maybe twice as much. I can't believe I have another 3 months to go. On the other hand, thank G-d, I still have 3 months. Because I am TERRIFIED!!! Terrified of giving birth here, dreading another C-section, and scared to death of attempting to take care of 3 kids!! I feel my hands are full with 2. What am I going to do with a 3rd? And right now I am lucky - Shu is home with me! I don't want to think about what will happen Post-Baby and Post-Shu getting a job.

I went to the new OB today because I was seriously unimpressed with the one here. The one here was certainly more convenient!!! 12 minutes walking as opposed to 35 driving plus ?? parking! I got a recommendation for this one in Petach Tikvah. She was ok but I think Israeli doctors are just different. Really really really different. I don't see her for another 6 weeks so I guess it's not so crucial but man, oh man, do I miss Women's Health Consultants and Providence Hospital. I know the "program" there. Here I am just lost. And I won't even meet the person who will do my C-section until the day of. Let's just HOPE they speak English.
I'm having some bad back-aches (most likely pregnancy related) and am tired a lot (pregnancy or life-related). And I am just so busy. I feel like I don't have any time to myself and barely have time to breathe. The kids wake me up between 6:30-7:00 (sometimes even earlier, rarely any later). Then they need to be dressed, fed breakfast, and off to their respective schools. Usually Shu takes one kid and I take the other. It's a lot more traumatic for me to take Sammy though because he still doesn't like going. Jonah is practically ready to walk him self there! (Don't worry - it's not happening). Then I get home and start working (medical billing). I generally try to start by 8:30. I work work work and Jonah gets picked up at 1:30. Then I try to work, work, work some more. Sammy gets picked up at 4:00. He then attempts to attach himself to me for the rest of the evening. Our evening consists of trying to make dinner (with said Sammy attached), trying to get everyone to eat the dinner. And then either me or Shauli going to Ulpan from 6:00-9:00 three times a week. We just found out we will be having a Sheirut Leumi girl come to babysit on Sunday from 5:45 - 7:45 so we can both attend half a class together. :) They days it's my turn to go to Ulpan, I go and am there until 9:00. And the days that I don't go, I am home and go through the circus of putting the kids to bed. And after all that, I just want to fall over. So that explains why you in American haven't been getting too many phone calls from me. At the end of the day, I am just DONE! Heck, by the middle of the day, I am DONE!

So that's life. All in all, we're doing well. I may not have conveyed that well though. It's been frustrating not having our lift. I'm impressed with how the kids have handled not having toys. They've done well. We borrowed some train tracks from R&V so they mostly play with that. And we got them each a toy before Yom Kippur (to keep them busy) so they have a Parking Lot for matchbox cars and a big car carrier. And Jonah has a bag of dinosaurs. They've got a few books, some art supplies, and that's it for the most part.
We should be getting our lift tomorrow morning so that's exciting. And then we can officially lodge or post our complaints against our horrible, incompetent, unprofessional, shipping company.
I look forward to a few months from now. I look forward to being settled in, to getting used to how things work here (medically and otherwise), to learning the language better!!! To not feeling like such an Olah Chadasha. :) I look forward to feeling HOME.

Calling On Your Knowledge and Experience

2008-10-17T03:32:00.004+02:00

Ok, I know I left you all hanging after my last blog. And I still owe you the Police Escort story. I promise, I haven't forgotten.
But I've got something else that takes presidence. How do you spell that?
I need your medical advice...............

Beware - this is not for the queasy! :) WARNING WARNING WARNING - Not for the faint of stomach!
Also, if you are not a parent but may want to be one someday - you may not want to read this. It's gross. Parenting is not all flowers, sunshine, and smiling clean babies. Shock of all shocks!

Yes, it's Sammy again. Poor kid, if it's not one thing it's another! BH, in general he is a healthy kid. Just has small issues that seem to come up constantly. The latest one has me stumped. Yes, I do plan on taking him to the doctor but we aren't home and may not be able to get him in until Monday. Unless we go see someone here up north.

He's had a rough time since we got here fighting all the new germs. But the latest one is diarrhea and vomiting. But no other symptoms.

First time he vomited was maybe 2 weeks ago after he had just gotten over a week and half of being sick (fever, cold, virus). He didn't have a fever or anything - just woke up in the middle of the night and vomited everywhere!!

He has had diarrhea now for about 2 weeks - really bad! But no other symptoms. Then he came down with a slight cold and was just about over it. But Monday night he woke up at 3am and vomited! No fever, no other symptoms, and went right back to sleep. I blamed it on mucus drainage after the cold.
Next day he acted totally normal. Cold was all better and everything.
Tuesday night, he woke up at 5:30am and threw up again! No fever, no other symptoms, and went right back to sleep.
Wednesday, he acted fine. A friend suggested maybe he was dehydrated due to all the diarrhea. That seemed to make sense so we made sure to give him LOTS to drink that evening. We also bought some natural drops to help the diarrhea. They wouldn't sell us the "Kal Beten" (kids Pepto Bismo) without a doctors prescription (because of his young age). Wednesday night we were back home and he slept through the night, no vomiting or anything.
Today, Thursday, he acted fine but he woke up about at about 2 am and threw up. Twice. Same as the others, no fever, no other symptoms, went right back to sleep.

So - what the HECK????????

Now if I were Dr. House,I would set up my white board and figure these variables.

Symptoms: Vomiting and Diarrhea

Possible Causes: Dehydration, perhaps lactose intolerance?, what else?

Differentials: May not have had milk before bed on Wednesday night, may have rehydrated on Wednesday

Reasons why it may not be the potential causes: If he were dehydrated, wouldn't he have other symptoms? Like lethargy? And why would he just throw up at night?
He has never been lactose intolerant before, could it happen so suddenly?

So? Has anyone had experience with this? Any suggestions? Ideas? Solutions? Other things I may be missing and should be looking for?

Once again, I do plan on taking him to the doctor but things are different here..... I do not want them to tell me it's a virus and send me home!!!

Well, I will keep you all posted! I'm really hoping we get to the bottom of this. There is only so much vomit I can handle. Truth is, Shu has been the real hero here and been the clean up crew! I can deal with the sick kid and cleaning him up but the vomit on the floor and the sheets and everywhere else, I just can't handle. It makes me want to puke. I am still queasy and this was more than an hour ago! Which doesn't make sense to me. I used to be an EMT. I dealt with blood, guts, and gore...... I saw a man who shot himself in the head!! And saw his brain matter and all other sorts of nastiness on the floor. I didn't throw up then!!! And now my own child is vomiting and I am totally totally grossed out! That is one department where I do NOT win Best Mommy Award!!

Thanks for reading.............I'll try for a better post next time!!!! But, I did warn you at the beginning!!

Busy Day

2008-10-06T23:54:00.003+02:00

Ok, I may have to give up on a day by day update. But I do have to get better at following through on my blogging. When something happens, I often think, oh I should blog this. But I don't. So I 'll work on that too keep you all in the loop.
Things have just gotten really busy that there isn't time to sit and write. At least not the Megillot that I was writing. But I will try to post a snippet or two here or there.
For example today. The kids were up around 6:30. Ready and raring to go. I tried to stay in bed as long as possible since Shu had gotten up but it only lasted so long. I got up and Shu gave the kids breakfast and got them dressed. 2 points right there! Jonah wanted to be the first kid at Gan (yes, it's quite a change since last week) so Shu left with him at around 7:30. He can be dropped off anytime between 7:30 and 8:30. Nice leeway but certainly earlier than we are used to!
Sammy was very sad after they left so I had to keep telling him that we were going to go ByeBye too. I said this again and again as I got ready to leave. Then at about quarter to 8, I left with Sammy to get him to daycare. As soon as we were in sight of his daycare, he started climbing out of the stroller and crying. Oy. The closer we got, the louder he cried. We finally got there and I brought him into his room. He was holding soo tightly to my neck! We finally detached him and one of his teachers tooK him and held him while I said goodbye and left.
Yes, that was heartwrenching!!! I don't know if it's more traumatic for Sammy or for me!!!
Then I came home and Shu and I loaded up our rental car (which we just got yesterday) and headed to the Caylim Mikvah. Oh! I probably haven't mentioned this - because I think it happened last week when I didn't write. :)

Funny story - our tenants in America, who were brought in from Israel through Bnei Akiva, heard that we still hadn't received our lift. The husband called us up and wanted to know what we needed and how are we doing, etc. We mentioned that we still really need to get a dining room table and chairs and kitchen items (we're tired of frozen food). I think those were the two biggies. So he said he would make some phone calls and get back to us. Within 5 minutes we hear from his friend who lives on a very nearby kibbutz and has some things for us. Luckily, our friend here even had borrowed his father-in-law's jeep and Shu and he were able to go there the next day to pick up the furniture. There was a dining room table and chairs and even a couch!! We do have couches on our lift but it's awfully difficult to sit and hang out in a room with nowhere to sit. So that was GREAT! Yes, they are old and not in the best condition but the couch will be fine with a cover on it and the table is a table. I wasn't crazy about the thought of buying a new table anyway because of the kids. So that was the highlight!!! The guy said that we can keep them and when we are done with them, pass them along to someone else. Wow, such generosity.
A few days later, our friend called us and said this guy called (who had given us the furniture) and said he has a friend who works in a Pottery factory (or something like that) and could we use a set of new dishes. We said sure, because we are just going through the plastic stuff like crazy! He was going to try and have his wife drop it off or something because she works in Ariel. It didn't work out that day but we get a call from our friend a couple days ago and their car is full of stuff for us! So much stuff, they don't have room to pick up their kids. So she came by and Shu brought boxes and boxes of stuff upstairs! It was craaaaazy!!!
Apparently this guy works at or owns or something a company called Naaman which has dishes, pots and pans, serving utensils, etc. Obviously things get broken at the factory and then they can't sell them. So I don't know what they normally do with them but we became the lucky recipients of brand new pots, pans, dishes for 12, serving pieces, serving bowls, etc. It was SO kind and SOO generous!! And he said whatever we don't want or don't use, we should just pass along.
So I thought that was pretty cool and pretty generous!! And THAT's why we ended up at the mikvah. Toyveling and toyveling away!

Back to the busy day.....we came home and I started to get some work (Billing) done and Shu had to leave for Ramle to meet with someone from our shipping company to sign off on the lift. Supposedly it is actually supposed to arrive today but will not be released until after Sukkot because customs does not work on Chol Hamoed. Grrrr.
I picked Jonah up at 1:30 and was home with him, attempting to keep him happy and get work done. Shu got home and a little later it was time to get Sammy. We picked Sammy up from daycare at 4:00 (it is SUCH a looooooong day). He was very happy to see us. Although they claim that he does fine during the day, he plays well, eats well, naps well, just cries when we drop him off and when we pick him up. I wish I could spy on him! And just make sure he is happy.
So the boys were home and Shu was going to take them to the park. But I asked him to go pick up a microwave. Here's another story!! Ariel has a city website and one of the pages is Classified ads. It's all in Hebrew so I don't understand a lot of it but I check it out every once in awhile. We called a woman selling a microwave and asked her about it but I told her I would just have to call her the next day because we had people over. And then I would let her know if I was interested. I also mentioned we were Olim Chadashim and were trying to buy stuff for our apartment. 5 minutes after I hung up, she called back and said she wanted to give us the microwave as their present to us!! However, we didn't have a car at the time and hadn't been able to pick it up. But now that we had the rental, we called her up and Shu ran over there to get it. He came back a little later with not only a microwave but also a TV!!!!! Wow, it was so kind and generous - and they didn't even know us!
The busy day continues.
Shu returns and I get my stuff together to head over to Ulpan which we started the day before. It is going to be 4 evenings a week for a little over 3 hours a night. Since not only can we not afford to pay a babysitter for all that time, it is NOT fair to the kids!! So today we decided to split it. I went for the first half and Shu went for the second half. This works nicely while we have a car but when we don't - we'll have to see. After Shu got home at around 9:00, then I headed out again to this parlor meeting the mayer of the city was having with the Anglo's. It is election time and he wanted to meet with us to talk about his plans, etc. I was there from about 9:15ish until after 11:00!

And perhaps that story (with the police escort for me) will be posted another time.....

But as you can see, we have some busy days! And we haven't even gotten our lift yet!!!

New Pics

2008-09-28T23:10:00.002+03:00

For those of you who are not on Facebook and aren't updated that I added new photos - here are a couple links to some Photo Albums.
Btw - sign up for Facebook!

The Big Move

New Beginnings

Enjoy!

Shabbat in Ariel

2008-09-28T16:39:00.003+03:00

Ok, so maybe I'm not as good at updating daily as I was in the beginning. But that was back when I was jetlagged and wide awake until all hours of the night.
Now, I am ready to crash by 8:30.

So I will try to catch you up to speed before Rosh Hashanah.

So, somehow we survived Friday night. It was definitely one of the most frightening in my parenting career. :(
Shabbat day was nice though. Well, Sammy woke up still a little out of sorts. I was in the boys room with Jonah when Sammy woke up. He didn't really want us to talk to him or even look at him. He got angry if we did. So we just let him be in his Pack N Play and figured he would come out when he was ready. I guess he was shaken up from the night before too. Although I don't really know. It took a fair amount of time getting the boys to eat breakfast and get dressed and by the time we were about to leave, Shu had come home to get us. We went back to shul and met up with our friends and "Adopted" family who we were going to for lunch. Their daughter is in Jonah's class at Gan. They are English speakers and moved to Ariel from Efrat. I think they made Aliyah around 5 or so years ago? They live closer to where the absorption housing was, near the Netzarim community. It was bit of a hike because it was uphill but not really so far. They live on a street full of HUGE, gorgeous houses! But they said there aren't really any religious people there. They live in a semi-basement (one side is underground, the other is not) but it is HUGE and beautiful. The huge part is the main room, with the bedrooms coming off the sides. It's really nice!
We enjoyed lunch and Jonah played with his friend. Sammy was a little cookoo but I guess that was to be expected at this point. After lunch, we headed back home and that walk was much easier. I took a nap and then Shu did. Then I took the boys to the park and Shu met us there. It was nice but we have to find the park where all the religious people go. Because there were none at this one. And it would have been nice to socialize a little with the people in the community and maybe for Jonah to meet up with some of his friends.
Then for Seudah Shlishi we were invited to Shauli's new Israeli friend's house. He also has a daughter in Jonah's Gan. But we weren't sure what time to go so we just headed there after the park. It worked out. I talked to the wife (Hebrew speaker but very easy to understand) and Jonah played with both their girls (they have one older and one younger). The kids didn't speak ANY English but somehow they all managed. It was neat. And by the end of the meal, Jonah had said a few words in Hebrew. That's what it is all about. Sammy was ok but kept beating up their little baby. When we finally gave him a toy to play with, he was SOOO happy and SOOO busy. Poor kid doesn't have any toys in our apartment! They are all on the lift! I really feel for him. He's running out of clothes too...... and to think we have crates and crates of clothes on the ship!
We ended up staying with this family until after Shabbat and then went home. It was a bit late for the kids but we managed. We got home and put them to bed. Just in time for the babysitter to come. Total Israeli and very nice. I just hoped the kids wouldn't wake up! They may be a bit surprised.
We went to an Event the community was having for all the Olim Chadashim. It was held at the Community Center and was very nice. A good chance to just hang out with some of the local Israelis and the other Olim. A good group! I think there were 10 Anglo couples/families/singles in all that had moved to Ariel and each one was honored with something.
It was nice. We didn't hear anything from the babysitter so apparently the kids had slept through. PHEW!!
And that was Shabbat.

Friday Night or the Night of the Screaming Child

2008-09-23T23:28:00.005+03:00

Friday started off well enough. Jonah complained about going to Gan but on the way there we talked about how things are different in Israel but it doesn't mean they are bad. That there are a lot of changes going on and it's hard but it's not necessarily bad. He told me that he was really going to try not to cry when we left him at Gan but it was just so hard because he misses us and wants us to stay. Awwwww.
Well, I took him to Gan and he sat down at the puzzle table and was doing puzzles. My friend came and we were talking and in the meantime, the teacher brought Jonah over to a table with some other kids and got them involved in some game. He looked so happy! I didn't know if I should just walk out or if I should say goodbye and then leave. I really didn't want him to start crying again. The teacher happened to glance up and I kinda motioned/asked her what to do. She said say goodbye and leave. I was just finishing up my conversation with my friend and the teacher must have said tell your mommy goodbye because Jonah gave me this sweet wave. He had such a brave face on and didn't cry at all!! I was SOO proud of him!
The rest of Friday was uneventful. I got some work done, and attempted to sponga the floors and did some general clean-up. We bathed the kids, took our showers, and it was time for Shabbas. Shu went to shul and the kids and I got ready. We walked to shul with the Urims and I was able to be inside for a few minutes before Sammy got too ansy. Then we hung out outside. Everyone seems to go to shul here and there are tons of kids running around and playing outside. Jonah found 2 friends from school and was running around with them. Sammy was also running around but kept falling so that was no fun. Then we headed to the Urims after shul for dinner. The kids were already getting a bit cranky. Hungry and tired. We had kiddush and Hamotzei and soup (what a bracha for my sore throat which I must have caught from Sammy). Jonah was exhausted and Sammy was REALLY cranky! I assumed it was because he was tired and not feeling well. Jonah curled up and went to sleep on the couch and Shu and I kept taking turns with crazy screaming Sammy. We finished dinner and went home (right down the block). Put the kids right to bed.
About 2 hours later, Sammy woke up SCREAAAMING!!!! Shu went in to him and couldn't calm him down. I went in and Shu said he looked like he had gotten scared or something. I picked him up and he just screamed more. I thought maybe he did want Shauli so I tried to pass him back but he just screamed and screamed. I didn't know what he wanted. Tried the paci, not interested. Went to get a bottle, not interested. He was pointing out of the room so I took him out and he just pointed to get back in. But when I went back in he just screamed more and louder. We walked around the apartment and he just wouldn't calm down. We gave him Acamoli but that didn't seem to do anything. If he had a fever, I would have thought he was delirious, with the way he was acting. But he wasn't warm. Some random things seemed to calm him down but they didn't make any sense. Like he kept going to the fridge and wanting to open it. But when it was open, he would just stand there. And if we tried to close it or take something out to see if he wanted it, he would scream.
There was a book that he kept picking up that comes with magnets. So he would kind of play with that and pile up the magnets but if it didn't go right where he wanted it, he would start screaming. And most of the time he was just screaming. I was terrified!! I had no idea whether this was related to him being sick or maybe some kind of reaction to the Acomol. I just didn't have a clue. Then I was wondering if psychologically the move was affecting him. And the fact that he is in a strange place, strange bed, basically no toys, foreign people, I just didn't know.
It was honestly, one of the scariest nights I have experienced.
Finally, Shauli decided to take him for a walk to see if that would calm him down. He took him out in the stroller for a loooooong time and when they came back, Sammy was practically jumping into his Pack N Play. We all fell asleep but 2 hours later, Sammy was up screaming again. We went through the same things. Nothing could comfort him, he looked like he didn't recognize us. It was awful.
And this time Jonah woke up. He came out into the living room and announced that he was hungry (after all, he did fall asleep during dinner). Well, since I felt I couldn't handle 2 crying children and since it was impossible to console the 1 child, I was ready to give into whatever Jonah wanted. So he enjoyed a nice bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. And with a full belly, went back to bed. Shu took Sammy for another walk and when they came back, Sammy went right to sleep. But 2 hours later, he was awake and screaming again. This time I just stood outside his door. I wanted to see if he would calm himself down. I knew I certainly wasn't able to calm him down. So I stood by his door and listened to my baby scream and eventually he went back to sleep. I went back to sleep and at some point Jonah woke up and took over Shauli's bed and Shauli ended up on Jonah's mattress in his room. It was a very weird night indeed.

But we survived...........I think.

Thursday and Friday

2008-09-21T20:56:00.002+03:00

So Thursday was a weird day. Sammy and his strange illnesses.

In the morning we had some meeting with a lady from the Misrad Haklita. We had to give her our bank info so we could get our money money money from our Sal Klita. Absorption basket - woowoo. She scolded me though because I didn't bring the right paperwork. As if I am supposed to remember things that were told to me in the fog of the first few days of Aliyah. I need a checklist!
In the end, Shauli charmed her and I think she liked us. Not that it got us an extra money but hey, better to have people like you then not like you. Especially when they are government officials.
Then we ran a couple errands in the Mercaz - like stopping by the post office, the Hacol B$ store which is really Everything for 5 NIS store. But that isn't the exchange rate anymore. It should be Everything for 3.5 NIS. Oh well. We bought some random junk - like a prize for Jonah, "ritual" washing cup, pens, calculator that for some reason the + button is also the = button and the = button is nothing. Weird... But I liked the variety. :)
We were hungry (even though it was only about 11am) so we stopped at the shwarma place for lunch. This is the 2nd time we ate there and it's quite good. Also, he gives us free falafel balls and fries for Sammy.
Then Avi gave us a ride back to our house because Sammy had to get to sleep and I wanted to get some work done. Sammy fell asleep and slept for 4 hours!! I think Shu also fell asleep. And I worked. But when Sammy woke up, he was covered in SPOTS!!!! And I believe his fever had come back (although it seemed to have broken the night before). He was SO ill and the dots were so scary looking. They were all over his body and even in his ears!!! I called Maccabi and was told there were no more appointments available but I should call the actual branch and see what they could do for me. So I called them at 4 and they said there wasn't room but they would talk to the doctor when he gets in and see what he says. They called back after a half hour and said the doc said bring him in. So we walked to Maccabi and the truth is, the rash was already fading. He was still pretty miserable but didn't look quite as spotty as before and so I walked a little faster to make sure to get there in time for them to see!! Isn't that typical? Your kid is sick sick sick and you finally get an appointment and by the time you make it to the doc, he's happy as can be.
I walked inside and the lady at the desk took one look at him and said (in Hebrew), Oy, what a sick kid. Poor kid. So I was like, ok, I KNEW he looked sick! :)
We headed back to the doc and one person was in line. She asked what time our appointment was and we said we didn't have one. So she nervously kept one eye on the doctor's door and one on us the whole time. When the door opened and someone else left, she hurried in there so quickly - she didn't even want the doc to see us! She was very concerned we would take her spot. :) But the doc came out and told us to come in when he was done with the lady. It was a little bit of a wait - she was with 2 kids so I wasn't sure if they both had appointments or what. And no one else showed up!
Then it was our turn and we went in and yoohoo - he spoke English. PHEW! Not quite as fluent as the doctor from Monday but enough that we could easily communicate. Sammy took one look at the room when we entered and started crying. He is not such a fan of docs! I gave his history and the doc checked him out. He looked at all the spots on the different parts of Sammy's body and pressed on them. He said a viral rash will disappear but a bacterial one won't. They disappeared so that's good! However, there is nothing we can do to help him get better. Just a lot of patience. AHHH. I hate when Sammy is sick. He is so different. :(
We came back and Shu had bought and made some awesome frozen pizza. I love this country. Have I mentioned that? Probably not because I have been writing more about the trials and tribulations. But in any case -I LOVE this country! Perhaps when I am caught up with my daily posts, I can write about all the things I love here. It's a nice list.
Back to kid #1 (cuz he's older and came first). He has been having some rough rough days going to Gan. He basically dreads it all morning and whines about not wanting to go and cries when we leave him. It's all very sad. But what can we do?? At the end of the day he says he has a good time but it starts all over the next day.
We've been discussing it a lot. All the changes and how things are REALLY hard in the beginning. But different isn't always bad. And we talk about the good things about living in Israel. He has a lot of reasons he doesn't want to go to Gan but I think they are either just excuses or things he has overheard us say. So he knows just how to get our sympathy!
Friday morning started out as usual. Jonah complaining for the hour prior to Gan that he doesn't want to go - no matter what we bribe him with. We walked to Gan where I agreed to stay for a few minutes. He was playing by himself at the puzzle table and I was just standing behind him. A friend came and dropped her daughter off so we were just chatting. The Ganenet came over and got Jonah involved in some game with a few other kids. He looked SOOO happy and included and he was talking (in English). Half of me wanted to sneak out and the other half knew I should say goodbye. But I really didn't want the waterworks to start. The teacher glanced back and I kind of pantomimed, should I say goodbye or just leave? She said say goodbye and just leave. I was just going to finish up my conversation and just go but the teacher must have said something to Jonah because he waved and said Bye to me!! He gave me such a brave, hesitant smile and I was SOOOOO proud of him. Honestly, my heart was ready to burst! It was great.
So I left and I think I mostly spent the day working. We cleaned up the apartment (as much as we could without a broom and many cleaning supplies.......)
And got ready for Shabbat.

I'll fill you in on that another time. Stay tuned for "Friday Night - the crazy screaming zombie child"