It's been awhile since I've posted so I'll just try to write something that will be impossible to put into words but is something I wish I could make everyone understand.
Where to start?
Well, for one - one of my closest friends had a baby a week ago. And she is in Detroit. And I am here. And it's awful. I HATE being so far away. I hate not being there to take her to the doctor when she went into labor (like I did with her first child). And I hate not being there to visit her as soon as she even thinks about having visitors in the hospital. And I hate not being there to buy this and that for when she gets home from the hospital. I was really bummed the day after she had the baby because I really felt a million miles away. And I was reminded how this is the part of Aliyah that sux. There is no way around it. And I have no clue if it gets any better but if getting better means drifting apart from my friend, I don't want any part of it. And I was thinking of how it must have been hard for my close friends (and family) in the States when I had Kayla and how they were the ones who felt far away. And I wondered for a split second - is it worth it? Am I happy with my choice?
Despite all that sadness of being so far away, I am so confident and sure in my decision, and I am 100% positive I did the right thing. I love living here so much, it's almost unbelievable. I wake up every morning and I usually take my boys to Gan and daycare. And every single day, on my walk home, I look around and I think wow - I LOVE this country. I am happy simply walking through the streets. It just makes me happy to be alive. I am so proud to live in this country. I am so comfortable living in MY country. A Jewish homeland. No other place in the world is like Israel. No other place in the world accepts me and opens its arms to me the way Israel does.
I played basketball tonight and the man in charge of the gym was sitting in his office, playing over and over and over a song called Im Eshkachech by Yaakov Shwekey. Take a minute and look it up on YouTube or something. The chorus has this amazing haunting melody that just wraps it's arms around me. I had heard the man (his name is Gavi) listening to this song a few weeks ago and today I went in and I said, I HAVE to know what this song is! Can you play it for me?
He said that he listens to this song over and over again. He said his son went to the States a few months ago and all he wanted for his son was to find a match. He is 27 years old and he just wanted his son to be happily married. Someone randomly sent him this song and he started listening to it and thinking of the meaning. Israelis are lucky like that, they can understand ALL the words without even trying! He must have found some connection to this song, because he said he would listen and listen and listen to this and 2 days later, he found out his son was engaged. And now he has even more of a connection to the song. As he listened to it, I saw tears come to his eyes. It's neat to see someone have that connection to a song. A connection that I feel.
When we first started playing at the gym, I didn't know Gavi from anyone. And I certainly didn't have anything in common with him. He's an older guy, didn't "appear" to be religious, and was just the guy in charge of the gym. But over the past few months, I've gotten to know him a little better. A bit about his family, about his travels to the States, and now his love for Yaakov Shwekey's music and how it hits him "right here". He doesn't wear a kippah, but he is most certainly a religious man. And I love that about this country too.
We're all connected....we're all Jews....and this is our country. We "get it". A country we have fought for, died for, and will continue to do so until Moshiach is here. I am proud to be Israeli and I am proud to call this country my home.
I don't think this post came even close to conveying what I am trying to say or how I feel but maybe, just maybe, I was able to explain to all of your who don't understand (and to some who do), why we picked up and moved halfway across the world to start a new life. Miles and miles away to all those we held dear to us.
It is SO right here. It's so awesome here. This is the place where I belong, the place where my family belongs, and the place I can't wait to watch my children grow up in.
Now if only you guys would come here and make it complete!!