Thursday, March 02, 2006

To Dad, With Love

I wrote this in January of 1997. My father had been diagnosed with cancer 2 months before, around Thanksgiving. In January, he came down with a blood infection and was not expected to live through the night. I was in school in Pittsburgh at the time and booked a flight home as soon as I could get one - which wasn't until the next morning.
I had to call my dad that night and basically say goodbye to him over the phone. What do you say in a phone call like that??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wrote this poem for him while waiting to go home. I read it to him in the ICU, while wearing a surgical mask. I was not allowed to give him the hug, kiss, or even show him the smile I wrote about.
But I hung the poem on the wall when I left.

And this is the poem I was asked to read at his funeral.

To Dad, With Love
To me you mean the world
You're my dad and you should know.
That I love you and I miss you
Although these feelings rarely show.

You're sick right now and in pain
It hurts me too, you see
I am your only daughter,
Your youngest I'll always be.

Things are rough right now
They have been for awhile
I don't know how to cheer you up
But here's a hug, a kiss, and a smile.

I try to be strong and keep my chin high
I daven, I pray everyday
I know my Tefilot will reach Hashem
I know they will find the way.

Around the world and back again
People are hoping and praying for you.
And no matter what happens,
Please know that I love you.


Olah Chadasha said...

Absolutely beautiful...

swiftthinker said...

My dad passed away just under 2 months ago. He was only 56. It was also from cancer but 2 years of it, not 2 months. I get so much comfort from hearing other stories that are similar to mine. The whole scene with the mask is what I recall so vividly in my head as my dad was like that for the last 3 months. I ignored orders not to touch him when noone was in the room. It sounds like you didn't have enough time with him. I'm sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing it with us.

DonutsMom said...

Swift - You must have young parents.
My dad was 51 when he died but this was 9 years ago.
As for time with my dad. We were lucky that he did not pass away from the blood infection that night. He pulled through and lived for another month.
No, we didn't have a lot of time with him but we did have more time than many people. We learned from that scare that we had no idea how much longer he had. And every time I left the room, I gave him a kiss and told him how much I loved him.
Every moment we had after that night we considered extra time.