Sunday, July 10, 2005


I've always been fascinated by adoption. And I've actually always wanted to adopt a child.

Maybe it's because when I was young, I was friends with a girl who was a foster child. We'll call her Lucy. I remember when she first moved in. She moved in with our neighbors who didn't have any children at the time. Well, Lucy moved in with them and they wanted me to be friends with her. She was a couple years younger than me but not enough that it truly mattered. She was certainly wise beyond her years, had seen too much evil in her life, and was starved for attention and affection. She was 7 and I was 10? Or younger possibly. She had a couple siblings and they were all split up. I don't believe she knew who her father was but her mother lived in California. She was hit often when she was little and then raped and that is why she was taken away. She used to tell me stories about her life but it was hard to tell what was truth and what she added for effect. So Lucy moved in with this family and we became real pals. She definitly gave them a run for their money but they truly fell in love with her. And she with them. After a few years, this family decided to move. And they wanted to take Lucy with them. But in order for them to take her out of the state, they would have to adopt her. Which they had wanted to do anyway. So thus began the whole process of adoption. They wanted her and she wanted them. I didn't want them to move but I knew Lucy becoming part of their family was in her best interests. And the court dates began.

This story has a sad ending though. The judge had some problem with the foster mother and in the end said NO to the adoption and sent Lucy back to California to live with her grandmother. Everyone was devastated and nobody understood. Well, I lost touch with both the family and Lucy but interestingly enough, the family showed up at my wedding! We had sent them an invitation because my Mom was still occasionaly in touch with them. It was the first time I had seen them in years and they now have 3 sons (all birth children). They are in touch with Lucy and she is living in California and may be getting engaged. I suppose she turned out all right.

Being a foster parent seems too hard. You put so much time and energy into taking care of a child and in the good cases begin to fall in love with them. And then they get taken away from you. I mean maybe that is best - if they end up back with their parents who will love them and take care of them. But they couldn't so isn't that why they were taken away in the first place?

To be continued about the adoption part............................Maybe tomorrow.


2R said...

I am also intrigued by foster care/adoption. I think it has to do with the random ppl that used to adopt mom and dad as parents... usually not from traumatic backgrounds, but all needin' a little extra lovin'

stillruleall said...

Are the names you pick for your stories the names your husband wont allow you to use on children? Sports players? What is the secret behind the name Lucy?

DonutsMom said...

Nope, just random names. I asked Shauli to think of a girls name while I was writing the story but he wasn't quick enough. So Lucy popped into my head. And I used it. I guess I could do something creative like Shauli did. Or I could just use real names........