Sunday, July 10, 2005

Adoption...Part Two

I am fascinated with adoption. And have always wanted to adopt a child or two - in addition to having my own birth children. Recently, I have begun thinking about it more (not that it is going to happen in the near future - just the concept of it has been on my mind).
There is a couple in our shul who have spent the last few weeks in Kazakhstan waiting/hoping/planning to adopt a child (or two). They have kept all of us back in America up to date on their story via their Blog (see link on side to Beth and Noam's Excellent Adventure). It's really been an incredible process and truly an adventure. They will, please G-d, be coming home with 2 new children. A little boy who is a year old and a 7 month old girl. The funny thing is, the kids resemble their new parents. A redheaded son and a dark haired daughter. It's all very exciting and fascinating and we can't wait to meet Jonah's new pals. :)
One of the things that got to me when reading their blog is when Beth and Noam would take their soon-to-be children outside to play, sometimes other kids would be there too and would come over and call them "Mama, and Baba (father) and want to talk to them. It is so hard on them not to be able to take all the kids with them. They said that their new kids have already benefited so much from the one on one attention and grown and rapidly changed. Kids thrive on it and they need the love that comes from a home. It's heart-breaking that there are so many kids out there without homes.
I would love to give one or two of those children a home. Somewhere that they can be loved and taken care of like they deserve and need. I haven't really talked to many people about this and don't know many people that have adopted. So I don't really know the many ups and downs that are involved. I would love to look into it though and just hear people's stories. I can't wait for Beth and Noam to come home and talk to them about their true, incredible adventure. That moment must have been truly amazing to them. When they met their kids for the first time. How did they feel when they walked into the room and saw them?
They said it was love at first sight.
Who knows. We'll see.


jmpjules99 said...

I have heard of one "horror" story involving adoption. My friend's brother and sister in law have one adopted boy and were going to get their new adopted baby girl next. They found a birth mother...she was younger and she did NOT want the baby. She said her boyfriend was a complete loser and would not make a good father and she didn't want to bring a child into that enviroment.
WELL this mother even went as far as to write letters stating all of that to be kept in the adoption file. Her parents even told them that they would not allow her to live with them should she keep the was a sad situation.
As her delivery date came closer, the birth father started to give them trouble and all of a sudden the birth mother was acting strange.
The delivery date came and the adoptive parents were supposed to have been called when she went into labor...they didn't get a call to come to the hospital till AFTER the baby was born! They still went up to the hospital and were allowed to bond with and hold the baby...their baby girl. WELL long story short, the birth mother changed her mind, kept the baby and moved in with her "loser boyfriend"

This woman grieved like she had a death because she did lose her baby. She was devastated as was her husband and their little boy. They now had to tell him he wasn't getting a little sister after all.

I found out a few weeks ago tho, that they have since found a new birth mother and both of the birth parents have already signed away their rights and they are expecting a new baby boy in a couple months.

jmpjules99 said...

PS. I think that is why so many people choose international adoptions as opposed to US adoptions. WELL it is one the United States, parents have the right to change their minds within so much alotted time. That is just not right!
These adoptive parents have already started a bond with their children...the birth mother might carry the baby in her womb but the adoptive mother carries them in her heart!

I too want to adopt but I am afraid of something like this happening...altho it's probably not as frequent as one would think. It's kind of like the plane crash don't hear of the good successful flights, just the ones that crash.

DonutsMom said...

I think I would be more likely to adopt a child from an orphanage - a child who has no parents and so these problems wouldn't come up. I would have a harder time adopting a child (not yet born) from it's birth mother because in my heart I would feel the child really is best off with it's own parent.......if only the situation were right and the mother was able to take care of the child properly.

Anonymous said...

Oh My God! A Natural Mother has a change of heart giving her flesh and blood away and you think that is wrong?!The Mother was young, most likely confused and scared. Carrying your child and birthing your child is an absolute miracle that NO ONE can understand or know unless they themselves have had the experience. Your baby is a part of your soul. Your DNA, your very life.
It is traumatic for mother and child to be separated. Pretending the birth mother is trash and you are better than her does not make you the best parent for another woman's child. Where is your love for that child? Now that child will not suffer the wounds of a lost family. I say Thank Goodness her Mother changed her mind. The time should be longer given for natural Mothers... hormones, fear, confusion and outright lies and influence of the adults in the young woman's life can do a number on her and she might believe the lie that she would not be suitable to raise her very own child because of money age etc. That potential adoptive mother had her eye on the PRIZE and grieved because she did not get what she wanted. A child to satisfy and fulfill her needs. She knew that baby for a brief moment. The NATURAL MOTHER IS EVERYTHING TO THAT NEWBORN. EVERYTHING.